fandomtownies | Turtle and Canary: Monday

He's hiding behind the counter but he'll come out with coaxing.

He's trying to figure out where all this mess is supposed to go.

Edited 2008-01-21 06:18 (UTC)

Rikku walked up to the counter, wishing yet again that she had chickened out and mailed everything back to people. Except they deserved apologies. Right? Right. Dammit.

"Uh, Jamie?" she asked nervously. "Are you ... um ... missing your wallet?"

She was going to find a way to strangle that freaking pixie. She was.

Jamie looked at Rikku and slapped his pants pockets and then his coat.

"Yes! I must have left it at Caritas last night along with my iPod. Or I could have left it with-"

Jamie groaned and face-palmed. "Oh man. There's no way she's letting me back in her apartment."

She couldn't help giggling at that. "You, uh, had a hot date last night? Or ... I guess whoever you were yesterday did, huh?"

She shook her head, reaching into her leg-pouch to produce the wallet and the iPod, relieved to know who that belonged to, now. "It's okay. You got robbed."

"Well it was less of a hot date than someone I thought was-"

Jamie stopped and looked at his stuff.

"Oooookay. And how did you get it?"

"Apparently, my Crazy Weekend Other Self likes to hunt for treasure," she said, making a face. "'Treasure' being wallets, watches, and shiny objects. Turns out a great place to hunt for treasure is in other people's pockets. Uh. Sorry?"

"It's not a problem," Jamie said pocketing his belongings. "If I'd been thinking with my head last night I probably would have paid better attention and at least you brought them back. Besides it wasn't really you right?"

"No," Rikku said ruefully. "It was a five-inch-high fairy who robbed a bunch of people, and now I get to figure out what belongs to who and give it back. And then hide in my room and never come out again. Was, uh, was she ... mad? The girl you hooked up with."

"Well I don't know. You could turn it over to the mountie or something and he could help get the stuff back." Jamie replied looking sheepish. "Mad? Not exactly... More like horribly embarrassed for hooking up with a guy who looks 17 and shoving me out the door."

Jamie slumped over on the counter. "Honestly? I should have known better. I knew everyone was acting like someone else and I just kind of left that behind just to have a little fun last night. It was unfair to her and I'd feel worse if she wasn't very very strong and could kick my ass without a thought."

"Oh, that's a good idea. I think I've got it sorted out, mostly, but if I don't, I'll see if he's got any ideas. That iPod was throwing me for a loop, though." She tilted her head, listening to the rest of his story. "So ... wait. Some people were someone else, but you were normal, and you thought she was, too? That's ... that just sounds like a Fandom-y kinda mix-up. You know?"

"Yeah... well I was here last year when people where all other people," Jamie sighed. "So I really should have known better to think that an ex-girlfriend appeared out of nowhere and wanted to hook up. I just feel a bit like scum, y'know?"

"Oh, ouch." Rikku frowned. "But ... you couldn't know she wasn't, either. How many times do people just show up for no good reason? She was your ex, and ... wow. That's ... that's just crazy, you know?"

She didn't want to think about what would happen if Fandom threw Jude at her, in Caritas one night. What a mess.

Jamie sighed and then just shrugged. "Hey, at least I know there are people out there whose lives this weekend are now waaaaay more messed up than mine. Right?"

"Yeah! That's something, isn't it?" Rikku chewed her lip. "We're all in this together, kinda thing? I mean, Romeo robbed himself, and Hermione ..."

She was at a loss for words, to describe Hermione.

"Plus Reno had huge hair."

"Do I even want to know about Hermione?"

"She ... seemed kinda ..." Rikku thought for a minute. "She hated everything, and everything she said was spelled funny."

She had no idea how you could tell that someone was pronouncing words as if they were spelled funny, but the hell of it was, when Hermione was like that, you could.

Edited 2008-01-22 01:42 (UTC)

"Okay.... that's a little on the odd side but I'd expect her more to be out screaming like a maniac and drinking blood," Jamie replied.

"Drinking .... blood?"

Blink.

"Okay, uh, do you know something I don't? 'Cause ... I sleep in the same room as her and if she's gonna snap and start killing people, I'd ... appreciate a ... heads-up. Kinda thing."

"No! No! No! No!" Jamie said shaking his head. "I just expected something more extreme from the quiet bookish girl."

"Oh." Rikku nodded quickly. "Yeah. I mean. I trust Hermione and all. Just. After this weekend ... I'd believe anything. You know?"

"I'm a millionaire and I'm destined to save the world from wee tiny bunnies," Jamie said deciding to test that theory.

"Wee ... tiny bunnies?" She grinned. "They'd have to have awfully big teeth."

"That's the scary part," Jamie said seriously.

"Are you gonna be famous?" she said airily. "I mean. Some of us already saved the world, but, you know. It can totally be your turn, this time. If you like."

"I don't think so," Jamie said. "This isn't my time to play hero. Y'know?

"Maybe we take the bunnies' side?" Rikku considered that for a minute. "They might pay us off, you know."

"What? In wee tiny carrots?"

"Bunnies would surprise you," Rikku said. "They have all kinds of treasure hidden around. It's 'cause nobody suspects them."

~~Bunnies aren't just cute like everybody supposes ...~~

... "You're kidding, right?"

"Wouldn't you like to know," she said with a grin.

At first, when she came in to check on the store, needing it desperately after that whole freaky thing with being some pregnant chick named Mary over the weekend, Turtle wasn't entirely sure she could find words. Here she came in for another pregnancy test just make sure (forget the fact that it was impossible for it to come out positive), and what she got was carnage. She blinked, staring at the store.

"What. HAPPENED? Jamie! WHAT DID YOU DO?"

Edited 2008-01-21 21:46 (UTC)

Jamie dropped the mop and dived behind the counter.

"It wasn't me! It was like this when I got here! Right Apu?"

Apu shivers under the counter and says nothing.

"It was Doooooooooooom!" Jamie said quickly. "He's trying to sabotage my employment!"

"Jamie!" Turtle shrieked again. "Victor wouldn't do this to his big sister; you're paranoid! Just tell me what you did and I swear, the punishment will be light."

"Ohmygod, this is going to cost so much to fix!"

"He's a dictator! He's a villain! Of course he'd do this to screw me over!" Jamie flailed. "I didn't do this! Check the tapes!"

"Does it look like tapes even survived, Jamie?"

"I DIDN'T DO THIS! I WAS CLEANING IT UP!"

Oh, he was so not yelling at her right now. Turtle very crossly folded her arms in front of herself and gave Jamie a steady glare. This wasn't exactly something to be taken lightly. "And you're saying Victor did this, all by himself, huh? The store was just like this when you came in today?"

She sucked on her teeth slightly. "APU! STOP HIDING BEHIND THAT COUNTER! Were you here when this happened? Apu! DAMN IT!"

She stomped her foot with a small whimper; tears were starting to build up. "I want answers!"

"HewaslikethiswhenIgothere," Jamie blurted out quickly.

"Oh, man," Turtle's hands went to cover her face; she felt really weak all of a sudden, which sucked. She felt like crying. She was not going to cry in front of Jamie. She started a mantra to calm herself: "Insurance will cover it, insurance will cover it, insurance will...."

"No! No crying! ~~There's no crying in retail!~~" Jamie said waving his hands and arms around. "Look! It's not that big of a deal! Watch!"

There was many stamping feet and then a dozen Jamie's were getting everything back into order and rebuilding everything that was broken.

Yes his duplicate usually were not cooperative but crying girls unnerved Jamie.

"See?"

Biting her lip, Turtle peeked through her fingers and felt a huge smack of guilt in her stomach. She dropped her arms heavily to her sides, and, a bit hoarsely and very quietly, said, "

"This weekend was a whole bunch of something I didn't expect to see," Jamie said sympathetically. "Don't worry. I did a stint as general contractor for a year. I'll have this place ship shape in no time."

"Well," Turtle said, frowning slightly as she looked at the mess. "Don't worry...too much about it if you don't want to. You really don't have to, but I'll definitely put a little something extra on your paycheck for it. I.." her shoulders fell, sighing in frustration. "Thanks. Just...thank you. I...I'm going to go in my office for a bit. Maybe there might be something salvageable about what happened. If Apu calms down, send him in so I talk to him about it?"

Jamie looked doubtfully at Apu. "Um. Okay. Though some Valium might be required."

Turtle sighed. "If he's not better in a few hours, I'll take him to the clinic."

No one wants the end the world.

Well, War does. And that's how we ended up with this mess in the first place.

Turtle and Canary: Monday

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