fandomtownies | Pizza Planet, Saturday (April 12)

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Pizza Planet, Saturday (April 12)

Jen still had that Allen wrench with her today when she came in to work; it was like she couldn't let go of the stupid thing. This in and of itself was mildly perturbing, because a little L-shaped piece of metal shouldn't be that intriguing. And yet it was.

Well, at least that was looking like it would be the weirdest part of her day so far -- or so she told herself as she got Pizza Planet open.

Today's Special
Tommy the Tiger
White Pizza. 'nuff said.

Yeah. Totally going to be a normal day.

[OOC: OCD up -- BEAR ME, YO. ETA: And Tom too!]

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TOTALLY NORMAL DAY. REALLY.

It had been a very busy day of shooting things and trying eat other things...and the eating things hadn't worked out.

So the bear followed his nose.

Mmm. Pizza.

Of course it couldn't be a normal day. "Okay, are you normally a student?" asked Jen, because you had to get these things out of the way first.

Deductive reasoning, y'know.

With a side of assuming the bear could communicate, but like that was abnormal in Jen's world.

The bear looked confused, then pointed a paw toward the pizza and whined very, very pathetically.

Poor hungry bear.

"Okay, possibly a student." Apparently a pathetic whine from an armed bear could be very disarming. As opposed to the other kind of disarming an armed bear was capable of. Or even an unarmed bear.

Either way, Jen was here to serve pizza, and serving pizza was what she was going to do. "Pepperoni? Cheese? The special? Something else?"

The bear wanted anchovies, but didn't exactly know how to get that across.

Growling should do it.

Yes! Brilliant!

Jen arched an eyebrow. No manners? Probably a student then.

"Would you like to see a menu?"

Was a menu a kind of food? If so, bring it on!

More growling.

"You know what?" Jen said, because growling was usually not a good sign in her experience and this couldn't possibly be sanitary but she wasn't a bear wrangler and really, really didn't want to bust up the pizza place. "How about you get one slice of everything?"

Hurrah! What a wonderful idea!

The bear would sit on this nice table and wait!

...was it supposed to creak like that?

"Hey, hey, hey," Jen exclaimed as she put a slice of Hawaiian next to the anchovy slice on the tray she was assembling. "Off the furniture!"

The bear slid onto the floor and sulked.

"That's better," Jen said calmly. She came over and set the tray of pizza on the floor next to the bear, and if she had to pay for it out of her own check she'd deal with that. She really, really didn't want to be responsible for property insurance in Fandom skyrocketing.

PIZZA!

Nomnomnomnom.

By the time he was done, the polar bear wasn't quite so white any more.

Luckily Jen had plenty of napkins on hand. "Do you want a soda with that?"

Look, she was trying to make this day as normal as possible, okay?

Ooooooh! Sugary carbonated joy!

The bear nodded its head enthusiastically.

Whyyyyyyyyyyyyy did she have the feeling she was going to regret this later? The bear was disturbingly behaving not all that differently from Wes and Trip when they had pizza and the possibility of soda, and that never turned out well.

Which was why the bear got an Abyss Boy-sized caffeine-free Diet Coke.

The bear made a face, but drank it anyway.

Okay, technically "poured it over its head in a big sticky mess and crunched down on all of the ice cubes", but he preferred "drank."

Jen probably would've reacted the same way to a caffeine-free Diet Coke, actually. Because where was the fun in it without any caffeine and sugar?

She sighed. "Anything else I can get you?"

A bath, but that was not going to happen.

The bear lumbered to its feet, let out a truly impressive belch, and wandered out the door to find more things to blast with its laser gun.

Jen shrugged and went back to cleaning up the truly impressive mess (to match the truly impressive belch) that the bear had left behind, only to go running out to the park (http://community.livejournal.com/fandomtownies/2690246.html?thread=117606342#t117606342) a little while later when she actually heard all the laser blasts and chaos.

And she hadn't even needed help from a robotic owl to tell her there was chaos going on. For once.

Did he brave the bears today?

Tom was maybe perhaps a liiiittle scared of the bears with lasers.

So he was holed up under a table, frantically consulting with his wife on the phone.

"I swear to God that I'm not making this up, Lynette! There are BEARS. Walking around, holding LASERS. ... No, they're not shooting a movie here... stop laughing. Please?"

Fish. It smelled a hint of fish somewhere in this place. It peered at the puny thing making funny noises into some strange object.

"Grrr mwhrr!" it demanded.

Tom squeaked, dropped the phone, picked it back up and said, "Yes. That was a bear. I'll call you back, honey. LOVE YOU!" before hanging up and standing, swallowing hard.

"M-may I help you?"

Honey. It understood *that* word.

"Mwrrh!" The bear poked its huge nose under the table and nudged the man's shoulder. Seemed like it wanted something.

Tom was relieved that he hadn't been eaten yet.

"Ah- I'm gonna take a wild stab and guess that you're hungry. Uhm, uhm..." He stood up, his legs shaking so badly he could barely stay upright, and went over to the counter, grabbing a blank pizza crust. "Bears... bears like fish... uhmmm..." He went to the fridge, seized a container of anchovies, and dumped them on the crust, before grabbing it and holding it out to the bear with trembling hands. "Good. Yes?"

Oh yah. The fish was a happening thing. It growled appreciatively, nodding slightly.

"Grr," it added, waving its paw at the other available topping choices. But its a big, very big, paw. Hard to say what it was pointing at.

Steadying a little, since it hadn't attacked yet and just seemed to want a delicious pizza, Tom pointed at the pepperoni, then sausage, then bacon, then ham.

"Meat. You like meat, right?"

See these teeth? Sure not eating just salad with these suckers.

"Rwwr!" the bear said. Did he really have to explain it all?

"Right! Yes!" Tom piled as much meat on top as he could conceivably fit on top of a single pizza crust, and offered it to the bear.

The bear scowled. What, was it some kind of barbarian?

"GWWWR!" It flashed a paw in the general direction of the ovens.

This human didn't actually expect him to eat a cold pizza did it?

Thank you for bearing with me while the OCD went up.

I AM SLAIN BY PUNS

I AM SLAIN BY MY FAILING TO REMEMBER TO LABEL THIS AS THE OOC THREAD. D:

OH NOOOOOOOES

U R SOOOO FIRED

We'll just grin and bear it.

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Pizza Planet, Saturday (April 12)

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