An Unexplored Area of the Woods, Sunday afternoon

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

Parker was wandering through the woods, much like Maleficent or Snow White's Stepmother, gathering poison things and singing a malevolent tune to frighten the squirrels away.

Boil them up
Cut them up
Slice them up
Yum!
Stab them
Knife them
Slice them
Dice them
Burn their little ears...

Still working on that death plot for Ronan, of course.

[ooc: for one! But you can wander through and miss seeing the plottery, or use the woods for your own nefarious purposes at your leisure.]

Comments

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

Tony was going for his normal walk in the unexplored wooded area when he happened upon Parker. His beautiful, evil woman...

"It's been some time..."

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

Ooooo. Goatee. "Too long," Parker smoldered at him. "How have you been, what are you up to, and I need your help. Desperately." She molded herself against him. "And you know I'll do anything for you."

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

"What's in it for me?" Oh, blast! If only he actually remembered her name!

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

Parker smirked, and ran her fingers along his jaw. "Whatever you want. You know I'll raise the dead for you, honey."

Damn. Tino? No, that wasn't it....

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

Cindy? No, that wasn't evil enough.

""And have," Tony replied. "What is it you want, my dark pet?"

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

"Aside from you, here, now, fast, hot, now?" Parker asked, reaching for the fly of his pants. "My husband dead. You're okay with that, right?"

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

"Have I ever not been good with it?" Tony asked, pushing her against a tree. It was no Mayoral desk, but it would do.

It was then the commercials came on screen and people missed out on the best parts of this.

But they did come back to the pair, covered in a convenient sheet as they smoked and looked very proud of themselves.

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

Parker stretched happily, the sheet never drifting further than was allowed by the Daytime Decency Code, blew a smoke ring, and murmured, "Fabulous. Now. About the husband."

She leaned in to Tony and whispered naughty, dirty, devious, homicidal things to him, giggling.

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

"Oh, I like the way you think, lover," Tony replied.

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

"And you're my lover because I like the way you think, hot stuff." Parker started crawling down Tony's body, smiling wickedly. "Specifically, about weapons. But we can talk more when we're not naked, right?"

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

"Oh, ready for round two already?" Tony asked with a leer.

[mparkerceo.livejournal.com]

"Oui, cherie," Parker said in a passable French accent. If only she could remember this guy's name! He could go on her list of potential future husbands and victims!

Ah well. Kiss, kiss. Bang, bang. Ahem. So to speak.

"Pucker up, buttercup."

[not-ironmaiden.livejournal.com]

If only they both weren't plotting against each other, they could find love...

"Oh, I love it when you speak French!"

[rocksthescarf.livejournal.com]

Charles was walking smugly through the woods. Why? Because he was Charles Stark-Bass.

[missed-the-gate.livejournal.com]

And there was John Herbert Nelson Sheppard the third, stalking him through the woods. Why? To destroy his life and take his scarf.

If only Ben had brought him the dirt on Charles before the wedding. John didn't need lots of words to show his anger at Charles destroying the wedding with his really effing hot hooker. He just needed one, "Bass!"

[rocksthescarf.livejournal.com]

Charles cringed at the voice but there was a look of smug satisfaction on his face when he turned to face John. The happy events at the wedding still made him happy.

"Sheppard," Charles said calmly. "What a surprise. I thought you'd be off crying about your lost inheritance for at least a couple more hours."

[missed-the-gate.livejournal.com]

John sniffed, it had been a lot of money, after all. "Are you aware of the years I put in to getting that damned diamond mine? The family functions? Kissing Skywalker's ass on a regular basis? Pretending to give a shit about his stupid mullet? But no, you couldn't let me just have it, could you?"

[rocksthescarf.livejournal.com]

"You've known all along what you have to do in order to for me to leave you be," Charles said, glaring. "Admit that I wore the scarf first!"

[missed-the-gate.livejournal.com]

John clutched at his scarf with one hand. "Never! My father gave me this scarf the day he left me at the orphanage just after my mother died giving birth to my stillborn brother!"

[rocksthescarf.livejournal.com]

"You lie! This scarf is a family trademark! It was given to me after my mother died shortly after I was born!" Charles argued. No, he didn't realize how similar the stories were. "Admit it! You just wear it because you wish you could be everything that I am!"

[missed-the-gate.livejournal.com]

"I don't care who you are, Bass, just that you're trying to be me!" John complained, so much like an older sibling. "Admit it, that's why you sleep with every woman I go anywhere near."

[rocksthescarf.livejournal.com]

"No, I do that because I feel like I should show them what it's like to sleep with a real man," he said. Oh yeah. He went there.

[missed-the-gate.livejournal.com]

He did not just go there. John moved to get in Charles' face. "Take. That. Back."

[rocksthescarf.livejournal.com]

"Oh? Did I hit touch a nerve, John?" Charles asked. "The truth hurts, doesn't it?"

[missed-the-gate.livejournal.com]

"No, but I've heard my fist in your face sure does," John replied, stepping back to throw a right hook at Charles' jaw.