fandomtownies | The Perk, Monday afternoon

After ~~two days~~ some time spent realizing that the DVDs were actually in the plastic boxes that Tony had loaned him, and not the plastic boxes themselves, and then that, while he had no DVD player on his TV, he did have one that seemed to work perfectly well on his laptop, Castiel had spent his weekend watching Space Battles.

And now he was sitting in the Perk with a cooling cup of coffee and an as yet unnibbled slice of marble pound cake, searching the internet for Space Battles fanfiction.

And wouldn't you know it? People got that wrong, too!

He'd crafted what he felt was a very reasonable and patient letter explaining to one author that the characters were not, in fact, high school students, and that as far as he could tell, the society in which the movies took place wasn't even structured to have a high school, and was currently attempting to translate the response the author had sent him in return. It was clearly written in some kind of code, but seemed to be implying disreputable things about Castiel's mother.

[ooc: Open, doncha know.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Too many interpretations?" Layla said trying not to smile. "At least no one has started a war because of it."

"Not a physical one. There seem to be references to 'flame wars' and 'wank'."

"Harmless words on a screen," Layla said with a shrug. "Easy enough ignored and nothing to take offense at. For most people anyway."

"And the Holy Wars in the East were started, essentially, over harmless words on paper. But you have a point."

"As do you of course," Layla admitted easily. "It makes one wonder what would have happened if they had something like our technology then. Perhaps they would have spent all their time at a keyboard instead."

"Perhaps I'll have the opportunity to suggest that, the next time around."

He very sincerely doubted it.

"We should be so lucky," Layla snickered.

Castiel smiled faintly. "In the meantime, I have been tasked with the important duty of finding a woman to copulate with. Life is extraordinarily strange."

And that got a full out smirk from Layla. "Well that's another way of... shall we say getting lucky. You might find better luck at that by staying away from the internet."

"I think we've all agreed that I would be best off finding someone already on the island, yes. I'm rather having difficulty differentiating between beauty," we he rather felt every human had, "and sexiness," which he hadn't identified in anyone yet. "It's all very confusing."

Layla let out a little sigh. "I would think that someone like you should know that either one isn't necessary for your task," she said with a amused shake of her head. "Sometimes it's just finding someone with a compatible personality."

"I wasn't referencing mere physical qualities," Castiel pointed out. "Though I'm not certain how I would go about figuring out 'compatible personalities' either."

"It's about meeting someone you like and then finding out if you like them and the response is the same," Layla replied. "It's the process that matters really. Sometimes it'll take multiple times of meeting different people and seeing what results you get."

"So I should look into . . . experimentation?" Really, Chuck and Dean made the whole thing look and sound so easy.

"Well if you're trying to find the right person? Sure. If you really don't care then the other option is just to get someone drunk enough to sleep with you," Layla said frankly.

"That seems a bit too . . . underhanded for me."

"You? Taking the high road? Shocking," she said with a wry grin.

"I can be surprising," Castiel said.

Completely and totally deadpan.

"Something a potential mate always looks for," Layla chuckled.

"Do they?" Castiel seemed to perk up a little. "That's . . . encouraging."

"Sure," Layla said with a nod. "That and confidence. Good looks. Money. Cleft chin. The ability to duplicate yourself with kinetic energy."

Okay that last one might be just for Layla.

Castiel poked Jimmy's chin. "I have . . . some of those qualities."

Wait, what? Duplicating?

"Is that a common skill?"

"The cleft chin? More of a genetic trait really," Layla teased.

"I meant the duplication. Unless by kinetic energy you meant the actual act of fornication."

Layla laughed at that. "Yeah. That's been known to happen that way as well. It's an ability my future husband has. The duplication. Not necessarily by fornication."

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