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fast eddie's | early evening | saturday | december 19

Even though Alex's break week had started back on Wednesday, it still felt like it was official once the weekend started. To celebrate, he'd slept late, eaten something unhealthy for breakfast and lazed away the hours (all the while thankfully avoiding any mistletoe while Griff was in the room) until he actually realized he had something planned.

So, having already downed half his beer (he was celebrating, after all), Alex was leaning over the pool table and lining up a shot. It was easy enough but his concentration was off or the table was tilted or something and he flubbed the shot, shaking the cue ball off the side.

That just meant he ended up cursing under his breath and deciding that downing the rest of his beer was a good way to make himself feel better. He had great coping skills.

[possibly expecting someone but open place in town is open]

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"Yeah, I know," he said and kept trying to make himself take the damn pool cue but he was afraid his hands were actually a little shaky now. Stupid fucking deep seated fear.

"It never turns out good for me anyway," he admitted, tilting his head back enough that he was staring up at the ceiling. Hadn't they been about to jump each other the last time they'd done this? "And yet."

Oh, yeah, she'd definitely nudged at something even if it hadn't really been intentional, and Effy stepped a little closer. After a beat, she reached up to slip her free hand around his neck as a sort of encouragement to look back down.

"Also kind of don't want to go back," she continued for him. Maybe that was just her, maybe it wasn't.

Alex resisted for a half second before he realized he didn't have any reason to resist and looked back down at her, still keeping most everything hidden. She was just good at noticing things he did these days.

"I don't either," he said after a brief moment just spent looking at her. "And that's a little scary."

Effy nodded, almost imperceptibly. "It is," she agreed, a little quieter, letting her hand slip back around to the side of his neck now he was looking at her.

"But why?" Wasn't supposed to be all that terrifying, getting into all that, was it?

"Beca--" He stopped when he realized he didn't have that good of an answer. Instead, he clenched and unclenched his hands in his pockets and blew out a slow breath.

"There's no easier way to fuck up a person than by...complicating shit," he said, choosing his words carefully. "I know that. I've had it happen."

And he could see it happening here. Whether she fucked him up or vice versa, well, he didn't know.

Edited 2009-12-22 03:58 (UTC)

Effy glanced down again, eyes settling on his chest. "Got to wonder if it's all worth it." Having said that, she didn't really have a whole lot of control over that. She wished she did. Emotions were a fucking pain.

Alex didn't miss the shift in her attention and while he thought what he'd said was the truth, he knew he probably could have held it back or worded it differently.

"I thought the same thing when I told you what I wanted," he finally said, slipping one hand slowly out of his pocket and brushing his fingers against her side. "I knew it and still told you."

Wasn't an out and out answer but it was something.

Getting there, finally bringing his hands out again.

"Have to risk a little, to get a little," she commented. Somewhere in there she was getting the fact he'd decided telling her just might be worthwhile. "Hasnt done you any bad yet." As far as she was aware.

"Hasn't done me any bad yet. I don't regret telling you," he agreed firmly, making sure she knew with that tone alone that he wasn't lying. Those fingers on her side gripped her shirt a little tighter, folding the fabric between his fingers. "And you? What about you?"

The focus on him was all well and good but it was just on him and having it be one sided wouldn't work. Make things more difficult, in fact.

Effy shook her head. "Dont regret anything," she assured him in return, looking up at him now. Better if she met his eyes for that one. "Regrets are about as shit as worrying all the time."

Alex nodded a few times, letting his chin hit his chest so he could gather up some of his lost focus. And that gave him time to get his other hand out of his pocket and gripping the other side of her shirt.

"Yeah," he agreed, pushing that word out on a light laugh. "So, what's that mean?"

For them, for other people, for whatever. Sue him, he was a little distracted with trying to push his issues down.

Edited 2009-12-22 18:27 (UTC)

One of Effy's hands was taken up with that pool cue, but the other she could at least use to brush his cheek.

"Pretty sure it can mean whatever the fuck we want it to mean." No one was going to come tell them off for doing it wrong, after all. Big difference between what it meant for most people, and them.

It wasn't like either of them had done the normal, typical, easy thing in the past. Seemed stupid to start now, didn't it?

"...what do you want it to mean?" he asked because that was a pretty open ended question.

Maybe they needed to stop playing competitive games. First Twister, now pool.

Competitive games did tend to bring out a certain streak in both of them, which wasn't generally a good thing when you put the two together. Stubborn as hell the both of them.

"Always the big question." And as usual, she didn't have a clue. One of these days, she might actually find him an answer rather than a non-committal shrug. They had time to figure things out, she assumed. Hardly a time limit as far as she knew.

Alex nodded, just fine with accepting that because he didn't know if he could deal with an outright answer at the moment. He was still trying to let go of the issue she'd nudged earlier.

Instead, he used the fingers that were gripping her shirt to tug her a little closer to him so he rest his cheek against her forehead for a moment.

"You want it to mean something?" he asked. Wasn't asking for specifics so it seemed both safer yet good to know.

The pool game could wait a little longer.

There was that ever-present hesitation, something Effy couldn't get through a conversation like this without. Let her monitor what was coming out of her mouth that little bit better. "Yes," she said quietly after a beat.

Yes and no answers, that was about the sort of level she could handle, and that was actually a fairly easy one to get out for her. Honesty was coming easier, somehow. The idea of deciding it all meant fuck all, just didn't sit well with her. That should probably tell her something in itself, but she was studiously ignoring it.

"Okay," he said after a moment both dreading and anticipating whatever answer she might come out with. Her answer, though, it was the better one, the one he wanted to hear even if hearing it was another one of those 'fucking scary' steps they'd been taking.

"You, uh, want anything else?" Alex asked, a bit awkwardly but considering the fact that he was doing his version of clinging to her, it didn't mean anything bad. Just that he didn't know exactly what to say now.

Edited 2009-12-23 01:45 (UTC)

Baby steps towards... whatever this was. One of those things that needed to be taken a little bit at a time.

Effy just, turned her head, pressing her lips briefly to the edge of his. "Take your damn shot," she requested with a bit of a smile.

Right, they were in a pool hall during all this. Interesting place to have a semi serious discussion. But, that was enough to snap Alex out of whatever little funk he'd been in and he reached for the cue that she'd been holding.

"That wasn't an attempt at giving up either," he said, making light of their fantastically messy attempts at this thing. Seemed to be the thing to do. "You're still not winning."

Making light of it all seemed to be the best way to deal with it. Better than dwelling on their complete inability to figure out that side of things, at the very least.

"Prove it." Easy enough way to solve this little dispute, and that was to actually get some balls sunk.

"Gladly," he said, rolling his shoulders a few times to loosen up before finding the first easy shot he could and smacking a good, clean shot. Maybe someone felt sorry for him because it proved to be a good shot and the ball rolled in.

Without saying a word (though he did smirk), Alex circled the table and found another shot. It wasn't as easy as the previous one but he hit it solid and grinned widely when that ball rolled in too.

"Proof enough yet?" he asked, winding his way around the table but stopping near her for the moment.

"Not actually proof until you've won," she pointed out, keeping that careful illusion of utter confidence up for now. "But you are good."

"What would you cook when I do win?" When not if. He could be confident too. But hey, he tempered it by pressing an impulsive kiss against the side of her neck since she was there and he liked to touch her and all.

"Besides," he said, finding another shot and leaning down, "I'm sure you could convince me to go to that hot tub place with you anyway."

"Probably could," she agreed, smirking a little. If he was allowed to touch, she was allowed to skim her palm along his back, up towards his neck. For once, it wasn't actually intended to be off-putting.

"And first thought, macaroni cheese." Because really, how hard was it to get pasta and cheese sauce wrong?

It wasn't off putting but it was definitely nice and Alex had to take a little more time with his shot so he could just enjoy that sort of touch.

"Not a hard thing, convincing me that I'd have to see you half naked," he said and grinned. Probably one of the easiest things ever. "And I haven't had mac and cheese in awhile. Maybe you'd even get some weirdo flirting with you in the common room while you tried to cook it. Breaking out the eyebrows and all."

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