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A Formerly Abandoned Warehouse in the Warehouse District, Sunday (All Day)

Mattie Merrill wasn't that go with the flow that she'd taken it completely in stride when she woke up yesterday morning in a dorm room that was (as later exploration had proved) on an island off the coast of Maryland. She was, however, not one to turn down an opportunity for a good ~~scam~~ chance to help people out, and with everyone freaking out over who they were or who other people were, the plan at least in the short term had been obvious: set up shop in town.

So she'd spent most of yesterday finding herself a suitable base of operations and getting the atmosphere in the counseling room just right. (Don't ask how she managed that in one day. Just don't.) The waiting room was set up comfortably, too, with couches and mood lamps and the appropriate kind of soothing Enya-type music.

A copy of her diploma (from the Buffalo Springs Medical Academy, which was a fully accredited school, thank you very much) was displayed prominently on the wall behind the vacant receptionist's desk, and above the door to the counseling room was a large placard reading WELCOME TO WHO YOU USED TO BE.

The door was open, the past-lives counselor was in, and hopefully there was a profit to be made here.

[OOC: OCD is up, post is open, Gabrielle is Mattie the scam artist past-lives counselor from the X:WP fourth season clip show "Deja Vu All Over Again." Yeah, clip show, but I kinda love what this series did with 'em.

ETA: I should probably put up a warning for unexpected possible bouts of SP; my cold decided to take a turn for the epic and I might fall asleep. :/]

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Hang out and talk to your fellow "patients."

Blue had found the abandoned warehouse district. Which was why he was huddled in the waiting room in a fetal ball.

Pity that he needed an actual counsellor, not a past lives one.

Mattie had been rearranging the incense in the counseling room, so it took her a minute or two to come out, which she did with a flourish of opening doors (well, door) and swirling sleeves.

"Sorry to keep you waiting," she said breezily to the . . . fetal ball huddled there. "Interesting look, spandex." She wasn't sure what sort of past-life experience someone wanted to get in touch with there, but okay.

The past life where he was a plucky teenager with attitude and a sense of optimism.

"Lord Galgon chose it," Blue managed, rocking himself.

That past life would get along so well with the one Mattie didn't really believe she'd lived.

"Lord Galgon, Lord Galgon . . . mmm, no, I don't think that name's ringing a bell," Mattie mused, tapping a finger against her lips. "He must have caused you some kind of, hmm . . . deep-seated trauma, though."

Well, what else was she supposed to conclude from the rocking back and forth?

Blue so didn't need to be reminded of Lord Gaglon's idea of bonding exercises.

"Something like that."

"If you can't be less vague than that, you clearly need to work past it, no matter how many lifetimes ago it happened," Mattie declared, looking at him over the tops of her ~~quite frankly ridiculous~~ blue-tinted glasses. "Is that something you're interested in doing today?"

If only it had been in a past life, if only.

"I think I would," Blue said. "I really would."

Joan had listened to the radio broadcast and was aware there was weirdness afoot on the island. Which was why, when she took Anahata out for a walk, the fact that someone was in the previously abandoned warehouse caught her attention.

She poked her head in the door to try to figure out what was going on.

"Hi, there," Mattie intoned from the doorway to the counseling room. "Are you here for a consultation?"

The girl was dressed in disappointingly modern clothing, but she probably didn't know Mattie encouraged dressing the part.

. . . cosplayers amused her.

Joan was pretty sure she recognized this girl, but it was obvious that she was one of the people affected by whatever was going on to the island residents.

"Uh... what kind of consultation?" she asked, pulling Anahata back on the leash to keep him from sniffing the girl.

"Isn't it obvious?" Mattie made a dramatic sweeping sort of gesture (the wide silk sleeves helped) toward the sign over the door. "We specialize in helping you get in touch with your past lives here. Tapping into that inner strength buried under all the layers of your previous existences."

She indicated a plastic rack of tri-folded sheets on the reception desk. "Would you like to look at the menu?" She'd thought it would get people's attention if she called it that, but it didn't contain lists of entrees and main courses so much as it had offerings such as First-Life Experience, Most Influent Life Experience, and Most Sexually Active Life Experience.

Mattie was her own kind of special.

This was so not the kind of thing Joan would normally do, but she could roll with the crazy with the best of them.

"Okay, yeah, sure."

Excellent. Mattie smiled her best benevolent-really-and-not-predatory-at-all smile, handing the 'menu' over. "Have you ever given any thought to who you might have been in a past life?"

Joan glanced over the 'menu' and managed to refrain from rolling her eyes. "Can't say I have, no."

Hey. That sexually-active life experience option was popular.

"Really?" Hmm. How to get her interested in it? Mattie started pacing around in a wide circle, sizing the girl up. "That's a shame. You're really missing out. It's a very empowering thing to know. And I'm thinking . . . hmm. Joan of Arc, maybe?"

Well, that was one way to get Joan's attention.

She stiffened and Anahata sat on her feet, looking up with a whimper.

"What... um... why do you think that?"

Oh, let's face it, this was exactly the sort of thing Donna would get herself into. She decided if she had to wait, that was probably a good sign, and looked around. It looked so authentic!

It was totally authentic, thank you. That had been a really long day of effort to make it look that way.

Yeah. Totally authentic scam job, but it seemed to be working.

"Welcome," Mattie said dramatically from the doorway. "Are you here for a consultation?"

A little startled by the entrance, Donna recovered with a "Yeah. I mean, everyone wants to now who they used to be, right? Are you the psychic?"

Mattie spread her hands in a ~~totally pretentious~~ gesture that looked important. "Past-lives counselor," she corrected. "We use hypnosis to get you in touch with your previous incarnations; nothing psychic about it."

Yes, Mattie. That was exactly the impression the drapery and bead curtains was meant to convey.

"Oh." She had to hope the hypnosis was safe. ~~If not, she would finally get an A plot ahead of Kelly and Brenda- wait, that would never happen? Nevermind.~~ "Sorry, counselor. So what do I need to do?"

Perfectly safe. Also fairly ridiculous. Mattie swept an arm back toward the door to the counseling room, Vanna White-style.

"If you'll step through that door," she said, and the mood music and incense were already going back there but someone really needed to tell her that her mystical-guru voice needed work, "you'll take the first steps on the journey into your past. What do you think? Are you ready for it?"

No. Not even a little bit. "Of course I am," she answered as she stepped through the door. Just ignore any and all shaking in her voice. "Nothing to be worried about."

After all, it couldn't be any more dramaful than her real life.

Sophie had been on the docks to see if that Albanian ship could possibly be, um. Appropriated. It wasn't like the Albanians would miss it, yes?

But then she saw the sign, and just had to see what was up. Call it professional ~~curiosity~~ courtesy.

"Business is booming already," Mattie announced upon noticing the new arrival. "Clearly, whatever powers that be brought me here knew what they were doing. Menu?" She gestured toward the display rack containing the brochure of available therapy programs.

"Oh, lovely, giving we, the clients, choices," Sophie said, with some true admiration in her voice. Really, so much easier to do a cold reading if the client just *told* you what they wanted to hear about. "I also adore the atmosphere." And wonder how much of it was 'borrowed' from any local establishments or warehouses. "Hmm, what would you recommend?"

Welcome to who you used to be. Or who Mattie'll try to con you into believing you were.

Or possibly are . . .

"No, I don't watch that show. Bunch of chop-socky crap. Besides, this was so repulsive. It couldn't have been an episode!"

If there's someone specific you want your character to believe they were in a past life, ping me and let me know. Otherwise I'll make something up, unless we've arranged for it in advance. ;)

Here's the Whoosh synopsis (http://whoosh.org/epguide/dejavu.html) of the episode in case you want to know what the hell this totally canon crack is about. Besides loads of gleeful self-mockery.

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A Formerly Abandoned Warehouse in the Warehouse District, Sunday (All Day)

The Waiting Room

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The Counseling Room

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