Another abandoned warehouse in Abandoned Warehouse District, Sunday evening

[cataclysmicluck.livejournal.com]

Cobra Commander had the giant peach bomb in a warehouse. He also had his broadcasting equipment set up and a teleprompter loaded with his crazed rant about how he had a giant peach bomb that could destroy an American city if he wasn't given control of the country in twelve hours. He was just waiting for the Oscars to start so he could take over that feed for greater effect.

Yes, that meant the Commander was watching Barbara Walters. Shut up. He would totally kill you if you said anything about it.

[OOC: For certain individuals, not all of whom are me.]

Comments

[survivesplague.livejournal.com]

After he was done at the Freelance Police, Kyle brought James out to search for the peach again. "You'd be surprised how often stolen goods end up in abandoned warehouses," he said.

[makesfaces.livejournal.com]

"But how would someone even get the peach into a warehouse?" James asked.

[willbethenight.livejournal.com]

"Shut your goddamn mouth," the Goddamn Batman said, appearing from the shadows. "The goddamn peach is in that goddamn warehouse. Some goddamn crazy guy turned it into a goddamn bomb, so focus on that."

[53-14]

[survivesplague.livejournal.com]

"... Where did you...? How did you know all of that?" Kyle asked.

[makesfaces.livejournal.com]

"Why do you curse so much?" James asked.

[willbethenight.livejournal.com]

Batman shoved the kid, knocking him on his goddamn butt. And then he laughed. He goddamn laughed. "HAHAHAHAHA. I'm the Goddamn Batman. Get your ass in gear and take care of that goddamn bomb before I have to save your ass, Rayner. I have more important things to do tonight than hold your goddamn hand. I have a meeting with a goddamn whore that I can't be late for."

And with that, the Goddamn Batman disappeared back into the shadows for the moment.

[60-15]

[makesfaces.livejournal.com]

"He's almost as bad as my aunts," James said. He was still on his butt.

[survivesplague.livejournal.com]

Kyle picked James up with a green energy hand and put him back on his feet. "Geez, your aunts must be really bad."

Kyle flew to a warehouse window and got a good view of what was going on inside.

"Okay, we're going to go in there. You find a safe corner to hide in because I'm not leaving you out here with Batman. Whatever you do, just keep safe in there, okay? Let's go."

And with that, they smashed into the warehouse.

[solesofmyfeet.livejournal.com]

After yet to be played dealing with a break in at the candy shop--she was almost sure this was a mission now--Sam was on her way to the shady part of town.

To see if some madman--or woman--had Clover and Alex in a trap and she had to rescue them.

[willbethenight.livejournal.com]

"You're a goddamn spy," Batman said, once again popping out of the goddamn shadows. The only thing he loved more than the goddamn shadows were whores. And popping out of the goddamn shadows. Especially if he popped out of them into the path of a goddamn whore. This wasn't sexual. He just liked scaring whores. It was funny. He could laugh a goddamn hell of a lot after he did that. A goddamn hell of a lot.

"I have a goddamn national security job for you if you think you're up to it."

[68-18]

[solesofmyfeet.livejournal.com]

Sam did the sane thing when some creep jumped out of the shadows at you, calling you a... G-D spy.

She pulled out a tube of lipstick and aimed it at him. "Who are you!?"

[willbethenight.livejournal.com]

"I'm the Goddamn Batman. And that's a goddamn laser," Batman said. "That's why you're so goddamn perfect for the job. You're here and you have a goddamn laser."

[72-18]

[solesofmyfeet.livejournal.com]

"...how did you know it was a laser?"

[willbethenight.livejournal.com]

"How goddamn many times am I going to have to explain this to people?" Batman asked. Everyone. Goddamn idiots. Goddamn whores. They needed to get it through their goddamn heads. They needed to know who he goddamn was. The whores. The idiots. "I'm the Goddamn Batman. I know every goddamn thing. I'm the Goddamn World's Greatest Detective. Now are you going to save the country from a goddamn madman with a goddamn bomb or not?"

[82-20]

[solesofmyfeet.livejournal.com]

"Sure!" Sam had no idea what was going on. She was just too shocked at all the cursing!

[willbethenight.livejournal.com]

"That warehouse," Batman said, pointing his goddamn index finger at the warehouse in question. "The front door is unlocked because that goddamn megalomaniac is a goddamn idiot whore. The bomb's being taken care of. Focus on the goddamn idiot in the goddamn helmet."

[89-21]

[solesofmyfeet.livejournal.com]

"Sure thing mister--" All she gleamed about him was that he was a g-d detective.

There was a lot of the conversation she was blocking out.

[willbethenight.livejournal.com]

The Goddamn Batman had already disappeared into the goddamn shadows. He had goddamn people to save. Goddamn clowns to fight. A goddamn bar to visit and maybe, if they were goddamn lucky, some goddamn whores to nail in an alley. He didn't have any goddamn time for this.

[100-24. ONE HUNDRED GODDAMNS! That one doesn't count.]

[cataclysmicluck.livejournal.com]

"NO! Not more red carpet coverage! I can't do this properly until the actual Oscar ceremony starts!" the Commander whined. Then a window shattered in a flash of green light.

"WHAT? WHO DARES INTERRUPT ME?"

[survivesplague.livejournal.com]

"You can call me Green Lantern," Kyle said. "I hear you stole some kid's giant peach and turned it into a bomb."

[cataclysmicluck.livejournal.com]

"I will call you 'dead'!" the Commander said. "Don't think you can stop me! If you even try, I'll detonate the peach and destroy this entire town!"

[survivesplague.livejournal.com]

Kyle held out his fist and generated a giant green energy safe around the peach. "That thing can take anything you can give it."

[cataclysmicluck.livejournal.com]

"We'll just have to see about that," the Commander said, picking up his detonator. "If the nitroglycerin doesn't destroy your safe, then the Red Bull will!"

[solesofmyfeet.livejournal.com]

"Not so fast!" Sam shouted, leaping down from... something in an acrobatic move. Once landed, she aimed her lipstick laser at the total creep in the space helmet.

[cataclysmicluck.livejournal.com]

"Is that lipstick?" the Commander asked.

The element of surprise worked!

[survivesplague.livejournal.com]

"Dude, I'm beating your bomb with a ring," Kyle pointed out.

[solesofmyfeet.livejournal.com]

Sam took that moment to fire at the creep. Because she wasn't Clover and totally not distracted by the hottie in the green mask.

"It's a laser, not lipstick!"

[cataclysmicluck.livejournal.com]

"AAAAH!" the Commander yelled as he ducked the laser. It hit the detonator, though, ruining his plan. "No! You've ruined everything!"

[survivesplague.livejournal.com]

"Shoot his teleprompter next," Kyle requested. "I wanna know if he can improvise his villain dialogue for the rest of the fight."

[solesofmyfeet.livejournal.com]

"His what? What kind of tacky villain uses a teleprompter?"

[cataclysmicluck.livejournal.com]

"It was for my ransom speech to the President!" the Commander yelled. "I like to be prepared, okay?"

[survivesplague.livejournal.com]

The green energy safe opened and a green energy shop vac suddenly appeared, sticking its hose into the opening in the peach. It started to suck all of the booze and chemicals out of he giant fruit.

"Lame," Kyle said. He turned to Sam as the shop vac did its job (although it was much quieter than a real shop vac). "Thanks for the help. It would have been a lot trickier to pull this off if you didn't stop by."

[solesofmyfeet.livejournal.com]

"I was in the neighborhood," Sam replied, flipping her hair back. And thankful this didn't end up with her being bound and gagged.

Again.

[willbethenight.livejournal.com]

Fresh from knocking Harley Quinn out, freeing her hostage, and making a handwavey trip to the trooper station, the Goddamn Batman popped out of the shadows. "I told her to come in and use her goddamn laser."

[survivesplague.livejournal.com]

"Sure you did. Hold on just a minute," Kyle said. The shop vac gained a rocket booster and a nose cone. After a short countdown of five seconds, it shot out the window and, eventually, into space where it detonated safely.

"Okay, James. The peach is completely safe. No trace of alcohol or explosives in there."

[makesfaces.livejournal.com]

"Hooray! Thank you, Mister Lantern!" James said, running out from his hiding space toward the peach.

[willbethenight.livejournal.com]

The Goddamn Batman tripped the annoying kid before disappearing into the shadows like a goddamn ninja. Laughing. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA."

He was such a goddamn bastard, that Goddamn Batman.

[119-25]