Our Lady of Fandom, Thursday

[scruffnfeathers]

It had come to Castiel's attention that he spent rather a lot of time talking about Hell -- in perhaps too great detail -- but he hadn't detailed Heaven. Well, he could rectify that easily enough now that canon has given his mun some idea. He actually kind of smiled at the congregation when he stood before them, today. Which, you know, was kind of creepy, but whatever.

"Heaven," he said, "is Paradise. My experience with it as an angel will naturally be different from your experience with it after death, but that is as it should be. It should be noted as well that each individual's experience of Heaven will be different as well. Heaven is a construct of all your happiest earthly memories and ideal locations, your own private paradise. All of your loved ones will be there, exactly as you remember them. Or, rather, constructs of your loved ones will be there. They'll be just as you remember them because that is what they are: memories. This is, again, as it should be." He frowned. "At least that's what we're told."

Perhaps it was best not to examine that thought too closely.

"Most angels are assigned to be a support network for the immortal human souls after their arrival -- something I believe many of my brethren might have forgotten. Some angels to watch out for include Zachariah, who has six wings and four faces." Wait. "Or possibly a balding business man." Moving on. "Heaven is built along the Axis Mundi, which will appear as many different things to different people. It is the route one can follow to arrive in the Garden at the center of Heaven. That is where, I'm told, one might have found the Lord, before he . . . wandered off. Now you're likely to find Joshua, the keeper of the Garden. God talks to him." Castiel clearly didn't understand why Joshua got that lofty privilege. Dude was just a gardener, after all. "Anyway, the important thing is that you remain good, so you can get into Heaven. Where you'll have to dodge certain angels, and be surrounded by imaginary representations of your loved ones, whom you will likely never meet in person again."

[ooc: I love my canon. OCD coming up! And away we go.]

Comments

Listen to the sermon

[scruffnfeathers]

It's totally hopeful. No, seriously.

Re: Listen to the sermon

[rocksthescarf.livejournal.com]

Chuck had considered missing out on church again (he really didn't want to explain his situation to Cass) but a mix of boredom and guilt overtook him and he ended up coming in.

He almost wished he had stayed back in the dorms; this whole sermon was depressing him. He couldn't really muster up any good memories to relive in Heaven.

Re: Listen to the sermon

[colourfulscents.livejournal.com]

So, Vimes had told Angua about this whole One-God-Not-Om things that they had going on here, and thought, well, she was bored, maybe she'd come check it out today. Of course, the sermon today wasn't a great deal of help with that in particular. It wasn't a great deal of help in anything except for making Angua tilt her head and think to herself on how people thought she was being odd when she talked about Discworld....

Especially since what she was gleaning off of this was that heaven would basically be a lot of really nice sunspots to lie in, scritches behind the ear from a constrict Carrot, and probably some bacon, too.

Mmm. Bacon.

Re: Listen to the sermon

[bamf-tastic.livejournal.com]

Kurt stared at Castiel in horror throughout the service.

The dude was NOT giving people a favorable impression of Heaven. Angel or not, he just HAD to be wrong about it. Kurt would have to ask Loki about it.

Re: Listen to the sermon

[bitchprince]

... Yeah.

That had to be the most disillusioning impression of heaven Arthur had ever gotten from anyone. The 'representations of your loved ones' bit?

Thanks, Castiel. Luckily he was destined for Avalon.

Re: Listen to the sermon

[thatsamilkshake]

........Yeah.

Do Not Want.

"What kind of heaven is that supposed to be? Egomaniac heaven where nobody's real except you?"

Re: Listen to the sermon

[bitchprince]

"Quiet," Arthur hissed. It was a better distraction than saying 'I have no idea', or in any other way admitting to naivete.

Re: Listen to the sermon

[thatsamilkshake]

She hadn't exactly been shouting it in the first place, just muttering fairly clearly. Francine being Francine, though, she looked abashed and added, "Sorry," to her list of verbal interruptions. Not that they were really interruptions, since Castiel didn't stop talking.

"But really," she added, more softly, but adding volume with her expression.

Re: Listen to the sermon

[bitchprince]

"It's a little... unorthodox," Arthur agreed. Mainly under his breath.

Re: Listen to the sermon

[bamf-tastic.livejournal.com]

Kurt leaned over from the pew behind her. "Maybe he's not really an angel after all?" he whispered.

Re: Listen to the sermon

[thatsamilkshake]

"I don't know," Francine whispered back. "He's got some pretty convincing wings."

Re: Listen to the sermon

[bamf-tastic.livejournal.com]

"So does Warren," Kurt pointed out. "But he's not an angel, either."

Talk to Castiel

[scruffnfeathers]

Let him tell you about the soulmates.

Er.

Re: Talk to Castiel

[rocksthescarf.livejournal.com]

Chuck really didn't want to know about soulmates. He really didn't.

He did, however, want to catch up with Castiel since it had been a couple weeks. Work was a bitch. "That was a very nice sermon, Cass. I've always wondered what Heaven was like."

He just didn't think the whole explanation would depress him.

Re: Talk to Castiel

[scruffnfeathers]

"Thank you, Chuck. I admit it's made me a little bit homesick." He frowned. "Have you realized that you're a woman?"

Re: Talk to Castiel

[rocksthescarf.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, I've noticed," he said, smirking. "I have been for about a week now. Punishment from the Magic Reserves."

Re: Talk to Castiel

[scruffnfeathers]

"It seems like a very ineffective punishment."

Re: Talk to Castiel

[colourfulscents.livejournal.com]

And since the sermon wasn't much use to a complete newb to monotheism, Angua decided to come have a chat with the guy who'd given it, trusting her ability to keep a straight face, all thanks to Constable Visit-the-Infidel-with-Explanatory-Pamphlets.

"So," she said, coming up after the sermon. "God, eh?"

Re: Talk to Castiel

[scruffnfeathers]

"Yes," said Castiel.

Er.

"God what?"

Re: Talk to Castiel

[colourfulscents.livejournal.com]

"Shouldn't you know?" asked Angua, who gestured at the church in general. "Considering? Or at least have you got any explanatory pamphlets that might be able to answer that?"

Re: Talk to Castiel

[scruffnfeathers]

"No, I don't have any pamphlets." Castiel looked around the church. "God is my father. In my universe, He created the world, and there are those who believe he is still watching out for the beings that dwell in and around it."

Castiel really wasn't sure about that last bit, what with the near anarchy that was his own garrison last time he'd been home, but he didn't want to go into that now.

Re: Talk to Castiel

[bamf-tastic.livejournal.com]

Kurt hesitantly walked up to Angua. "Umm..."

He cleared his throat nervously. "Please don't mock the crazy angel?" he whispered to her. "He's not a very GOOD priest, but he's the only one we've got."

Two things she might notice right away: 1) he smelled faintly of sulfur, and 2) he sounded like he might have come from Bad Schüschein.

Re: Talk to Castiel

[colourfulscents.livejournal.com]

Angua glanced over toward the boy and arched an eyebrow, partially for his peculiar smell and partially for what he had to contribute.

"You'll have to excuse me if it seems like mocking," she whispered back. "But, where I'm from, if a priest is not a very GOOD priest, then it's the right...nay, the duty....of the congregation to mock him. Gods are a tough market; if you haven't got anything more to offer than that when someone asks, then what do you expect?"

Re: Talk to Castiel

[bamf-tastic.livejournal.com]

"God isn't a market," Kurt countered. "God is God. We're here to... um. I mean..."

"Out of habit" didn't sound like a good explanation, and neither did "because I was starting to feel guilty for not".

"We're here to worship," he told her. "I think maybe the person up front isn't as important as the fact that we're all here."

OOC

[scruffnfeathers]

My coworker likes to hear himself talk. I really need to get back in the zone of ignoring him completely. . . .