Our Lady of Fandom, Thursday

[scruffnfeathers]

It had come to Castiel's attention that he spent rather a lot of time talking about Hell -- in perhaps too great detail -- but he hadn't detailed Heaven. Well, he could rectify that easily enough now that canon has given his mun some idea. He actually kind of smiled at the congregation when he stood before them, today. Which, you know, was kind of creepy, but whatever.

"Heaven," he said, "is Paradise. My experience with it as an angel will naturally be different from your experience with it after death, but that is as it should be. It should be noted as well that each individual's experience of Heaven will be different as well. Heaven is a construct of all your happiest earthly memories and ideal locations, your own private paradise. All of your loved ones will be there, exactly as you remember them. Or, rather, constructs of your loved ones will be there. They'll be just as you remember them because that is what they are: memories. This is, again, as it should be." He frowned. "At least that's what we're told."

Perhaps it was best not to examine that thought too closely.

"Most angels are assigned to be a support network for the immortal human souls after their arrival -- something I believe many of my brethren might have forgotten. Some angels to watch out for include Zachariah, who has six wings and four faces." Wait. "Or possibly a balding business man." Moving on. "Heaven is built along the Axis Mundi, which will appear as many different things to different people. It is the route one can follow to arrive in the Garden at the center of Heaven. That is where, I'm told, one might have found the Lord, before he . . . wandered off. Now you're likely to find Joshua, the keeper of the Garden. God talks to him." Castiel clearly didn't understand why Joshua got that lofty privilege. Dude was just a gardener, after all. "Anyway, the important thing is that you remain good, so you can get into Heaven. Where you'll have to dodge certain angels, and be surrounded by imaginary representations of your loved ones, whom you will likely never meet in person again."

[ooc: I love my canon. OCD coming up! And away we go.]

Comments

Re: Talk to Castiel

[colourfulscents.livejournal.com]

And since the sermon wasn't much use to a complete newb to monotheism, Angua decided to come have a chat with the guy who'd given it, trusting her ability to keep a straight face, all thanks to Constable Visit-the-Infidel-with-Explanatory-Pamphlets.

"So," she said, coming up after the sermon. "God, eh?"

Re: Talk to Castiel

[scruffnfeathers]

"Yes," said Castiel.

Er.

"God what?"

Re: Talk to Castiel

[colourfulscents.livejournal.com]

"Shouldn't you know?" asked Angua, who gestured at the church in general. "Considering? Or at least have you got any explanatory pamphlets that might be able to answer that?"

Re: Talk to Castiel

[scruffnfeathers]

"No, I don't have any pamphlets." Castiel looked around the church. "God is my father. In my universe, He created the world, and there are those who believe he is still watching out for the beings that dwell in and around it."

Castiel really wasn't sure about that last bit, what with the near anarchy that was his own garrison last time he'd been home, but he didn't want to go into that now.

Re: Talk to Castiel

[colourfulscents.livejournal.com]

"And is it true?" asked Angua, trying to imagine putting her father in a worshiped position and making herself a little ill in the process. "That you've only got the one?"

"God, that is," she added after a moment, since he seemed a little...slow.

Re: Talk to Castiel

[scruffnfeathers]

He had rather thought she was referring to only having one father.

"Yes. There is one God. Though there are a great many angels which, at the moment, are far more active in human affairs."

Re: Talk to Castiel

[colourfulscents.livejournal.com]

"Oh, that's good," said Angua, sounding a little surprised in her approval. "Here I was wondering how just one god would manage everything all on his own, but, then again, I come from a place where we've even got a god for things getting stuck in drawers when you pull them out."

Re: Talk to Castiel

[scruffnfeathers]

"Why would a god care about things stuck in drawers when you pull them out?" Castiel shook his head. "There are lesser deities that exist in my world, primarily remnants of old religions. Hunters stab them with wooden stakes."

[ooc: And then the mun yells at the TV for awhile.]

Re: Talk to Castiel

[colourfulscents.livejournal.com]

"Your older gods are vampires?" asked Angua, eyebrows lifting in interest. She could actually find herself getting into a religion that was as anti-vampire as she.

Re: Talk to Castiel

[scruffnfeathers]

". . . No, vampires must have their heads removed."

Re: Talk to Castiel

[colourfulscents.livejournal.com]

This was true, and Angua looked immediately disappointed.

"Yes, but what's the fun in just staking something?"

Re: Talk to Castiel

[scruffnfeathers]

"I actually find very little enjoyment in the destruction of anything." He did kind of like beating on things, though. And, okay, threatening smiting was always fun.

Re: Talk to Castiel

[colourfulscents.livejournal.com]

"Oh," said Angua. "One of those."

It should be noted, however, that this was coming from a vegetarian werewolf. But he didn't know that, and Angua was rarely against giving off the wrong impression of herself.

Re: Talk to Castiel

[bamf-tastic.livejournal.com]

Kurt hesitantly walked up to Angua. "Umm..."

He cleared his throat nervously. "Please don't mock the crazy angel?" he whispered to her. "He's not a very GOOD priest, but he's the only one we've got."

Two things she might notice right away: 1) he smelled faintly of sulfur, and 2) he sounded like he might have come from Bad Schüschein.

Re: Talk to Castiel

[colourfulscents.livejournal.com]

Angua glanced over toward the boy and arched an eyebrow, partially for his peculiar smell and partially for what he had to contribute.

"You'll have to excuse me if it seems like mocking," she whispered back. "But, where I'm from, if a priest is not a very GOOD priest, then it's the right...nay, the duty....of the congregation to mock him. Gods are a tough market; if you haven't got anything more to offer than that when someone asks, then what do you expect?"

Re: Talk to Castiel

[bamf-tastic.livejournal.com]

"God isn't a market," Kurt countered. "God is God. We're here to... um. I mean..."

"Out of habit" didn't sound like a good explanation, and neither did "because I was starting to feel guilty for not".

"We're here to worship," he told her. "I think maybe the person up front isn't as important as the fact that we're all here."

Re: Talk to Castiel

[colourfulscents.livejournal.com]

Angua glanced, with at least a little bit of skepticism showing in the cool look, toward Castiel. Then she looked back at the boy and tried not to be distracted by his scent. It wasn't easy, even with all the strange church smells nearby as well.

"I suppose," she allowed, "but, and maybe it's different here, but I figured the person up front should be at least a little better about cluing us in to exactly what we're here to worship."

Re: Talk to Castiel

[bamf-tastic.livejournal.com]

Kurt blinked at her. "Um. You... don't have Christianity where you're from?" He scratched his head. "I guess maybe Mr. Castiel figures we already know the basics?"

Re: Talk to Castiel

[colourfulscents.livejournal.com]

"The closest thing we have, as far as I can tell," said Angua, "are the Omnians and they," it was a very pointed they, "at least have explanatory pamphlets."

Re: Talk to Castiel

[bamf-tastic.livejournal.com]

"I can explain, if you want?" Kurt offered. "We don't have pamphlets, but there's a whole big book that sort of lays it all out."

Re: Talk to Castiel

[colourfulscents.livejournal.com]

Angua made a thoughtful hum. Books, especially if they were whole big books, could take a bit longer to decipher than pamphlets, but you did look more intelligent on the whole with a book.

"What's it called?" asked Angua. "Would you recommend it?"

Re: Talk to Castiel

[bamf-tastic.livejournal.com]

"It's called the Bible," Kurt told her. "I, um... haven't actually read it. It's big and hard to understand and... maybe you'd be better off with pamphlets."

Re: Talk to Castiel

[colourfulscents.livejournal.com]

"They seem to be pretty popular with Omnians back home, anyway," said Angua with a shrug. "But I take it you follow this religion? What did you call it again?"

Re: Talk to Castiel

[bamf-tastic.livejournal.com]

"Christianity," Kurt told her. "It's been around a while, so there's a lot of different kinds of it, but they're all, you know. One God, Jesus, love thy neighbor, that sort of thing. I'm a Catholic, myself."

Re: Talk to Castiel

[colourfulscents.livejournal.com]

Actually, Angua didn't know, but she could at least assume, and she nodded a little. "And what makes a Catholic a Catholic, then? Besides all that you just mentioned."