fandomtownies | The Beach [Wednesday morning]

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The Beach [Wednesday morning]

Max was not pleased about being on the beach today. Not because he didn't like the beach, but because he was pretty sure it was going to be a disaster.

He looked out over the water, pondering just how bad an idea this was. Really, he should know better than to let his pride push him into things. But after dealing with Anakin's idiocy last week, and then having Raven accused him of abandoning her, he'd been upset enough to agree to... well, this.

Well, at least there might still be time for the weather to turn bad. Maybe there'd be a tornado or a hurricane or something. Even if it didn't look remotely likely, this was Fandom, so it could totally happen!

But for some reason Max rather suspected it wouldn't.

[Expecting one, but open to anyone who wants to distract Max from the upcoming disaster... Or just hang out on the beach.]

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"Is the same true of emotional pain?"

"That has proven somewhat difficult for me to rid myself of," Raven said softly. "When I began to learn emotions, I could not merely learn the good and refuse the bad."

"Good." Max actually found that reassuring.

"Why do you ask all this?" Raven had to know.

"Since you refuse to stop using your powers, even temporarily, I am trying to understand how they're affecting your judgment."

"They are not affecting my judgment," Raven protested. "They are part of what I am. It is not possible for me to simply turn them off."

"But they change the way you understand emotions," Max pointed out. "Your powers skew everything you do." Which was okay, just... something to take into account.

"Because the emotions of others affect mine at times?" Raven said.

"Yes. And because you can... eliminate certain emotions with your powers. That is bound to skew your experience with them."

"I know I can recognize when emotions are truly my own," Raven said, though she started to feel a little doubt creep in. What if what she felt for Jono and Karla wasn't truly her own feelings but something she'd picked up from someone else and adopted as her own?

Max nodded. He believed that.

"But sometimes you wonder? Doubt?"

"Not until you tried to make me do so," Raven accused.

"I did?" Max asked. Was this him, or the vampire?

"Just now," Raven said. "By saying my emotions are skewed and that I cannot trust them."

"Do you disagree?" he asked. He was sorry to make her doubt herself, except that he was pretty sure she needed to. She seemed... far too sure of herself with so many unknowns.

She wouldn't give him the satisfaction of making her doubt. "I am certain the feelings I have for Karla and Jono are real," she insisted.

"Sure," Max shrugged. "That's entirely possible." He cocked his head slightly. "What about all your other emotions?" There were, after all, a lot of the things to think about.

Raven bit at her lip; she hadn't meant to name names. "Are you trying to tell me that my fears are not real now?" she said. She had no reason to doubt the affection she felt for her friends, or the respect she had for her teachers (especially Anakin, of course).

"I don't know," Max admitted. "I'm simply concerned that it's a possibility you've been ignoring."

Raven shook her head. "No, I am certain I know what feelings are mine and true," she said.

Yeah, he knew it was a dick move, but Max asked anyway. "Even your craving for sensation?"

Raven closed her eyes, flinching. "I wish they were not real," she said.

"I do, too," Max agreed softly. "But they are. And we have to figure out how to deal with that now."

"Yes," Raven murmured, eyes still downcast. "But how?"

Well, she'd outright refused what he considered to be the best plan... "A good question. How have you been dealing with it so far?"

He was pretty sure that the way she'd been dealing with it was by not dealing with it.

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