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Turtle & Canary, Tuesday

What was all this ridiculous cutesy shit going on lately? The rose petals, and now the stupid books? Like George didn't hate this holiday enough anyway.

Inspired by Pixie Dust, George made up her own sign.

15% OFF
IF YOU TAKE SOMETHING CUTESY
AND SET IT ON FIRE

Apu did not seem pleased.

Today's Squishy flavors: Black Death, Lemon-O-Rama, Red

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... you ... probably shouldn't actually do that "fire" thing.

The man in the black suit and sunglasses marched into T&C as if he was on a mission. Which he was. To deliver the mail.

He pulled down his sunglasses to smirk at the sign before pushing them back up again. He pulled out a package from his mail bag and studied the label.

"Is there a George Lass working at this..."

He paused a moment as if trying to find a kind word for his current locale.

"... Fine establishment?"

George froze, then glanced at Apu as if somehow, he might have ratted her out to the Feds.

Apu shrugged. And did not seem that intimidated, either. Dammit.

"... y.... es?" George said, carefully. "Who's asking?"

"Special Agent Mannheim," he said flashing George his badge. "United States Postal Inspection Service. Division six. Can I see some identification, please?"

"O ... kay," George said, digging out her wallet and looking for her ID.

The one that read Millie Hagen. Fuuuuuck. She had to have the real one around here somewhere.

"Would a student ID count?" she asked. "Can you tell me what this is about?"

"You have mail," K replied and made a 'gimme' gesture with his free hand. "Your student ID will have to do."

"Oh." Who exactly would be sending her mail? And under her real, also known as dead, name?

Rube? Shit. Had he sent this guy to check up on her? She handed her ID over and wondered exactly how to ask that.

"Look, does this have anything to do with, um." She glanced over at Apu and lowered her voice. "Post-Its?"

Edited 2011-02-09 02:29 (UTC)

"Miss, contrary to popular belief the federal government and the post office have very little interest in your private life and your use of office products for personal consumption," K replied as he pulled out a clipboard and offered it to George. "Please sign and note your place of origin."

"I don't steal Post-It notes!" George said, and this was a very different sort of frantic look she was giving Apu.

Apu still did not appear to give a fuck. Thanks, Apu.

"Whatever. Seriously? I have to sign this? Fine. Whatever."

The scrawl she made at the bottom of the page might have been George Lass. It also might have been Shoyl Zann. And that second bit? Good luck getting 'Seattle' out of that.

"Can I have my package now?"

"Indeed you may," K replied dryly as he handed over the package. "And may I say your cheerful attitude is everything one can expect from a sales clerk."

And if George were to open the package then and there, she would find... Kumquats.

If K had had eyes in the back of his head, he would have seen the delightful glance she gave him, as he left. He could probably imagine it, anyway.

It was quickly replaced by ... well. The fact that she tore the package open, and ...

"... fucking seriously?"

Thank you, come again.

Burning down Turtle & Canary would be bad.

Would George like a visit from K?

Sure! :)

She will be cranky jsyk. I feel like stating that even though it's a bit like saying "Water will be wet," or "Bruce Wayne's parents are still dead."

Gosh. IDK. K? Deal with Cranky people? HOW WILL HE COPE?

Oh. Wait. He's cranky too. I think he'll be okay! :)

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Turtle & Canary, Tuesday

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