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Caritas | Wednesday

There were things coming up that Nathan didn't want to think about. He still liked to deny that he had feelings because that meant he was still the blackhearted sonofabitch he'd been when he'd shown up to the island. He couldn't let people know he'd grown a heart and maybe had a squishy underside.

Tino was out near the stage, sweeping and not bothering anyone which made him a prime fucking target for Nathan's bottle caps. He'd made it into a game: ten points if he hit him in the head, five for the shoulder and a shot if he missed Tino entirely.

It was safe to say Nathan was gonna be pretty fucking drunk by the end of the night.

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There is a band!

There is a bar!

Hercules, in jeans and a turtleneck, arrived at the bar and settled in with a smile.

"I think I will need a strong ale. In a very large glass," he said.

"And what's the magic word, Juicy?" Nathan asked, sounding proud of himself for coming up with that nickname on the fly. Look, the guy was jacked and Nathan automatically thought anyone like that was roided out of their gourd.

"...Abracadabra?" Hercules offered. "Though I do not have a hat to pull a rabbit out of. Nor do I know magic. You might have me mistaken with Doctor Strange. Though he is tinier than I."

"And I didn't ask your for fucking life story, mate," Nathan pointed out, rolling his eyes. "I know you must see this face and want to just gush because you think I'll understand but the truth of it is, I don't care."

Hercules paused and then leaned in a bit, confused.

"Then why did you ask for magic?" he asked. "If you are afraid of your love of magic, there is no shame there."

"You're a little mental, aren't you, mate?" Nathan asked, raising an eyebrow. "I didn't ask for magic, I asked for the magic word and if you don't know that, I'm afraid you might be shit out of luck when it comes to your drink."

"Swordfish?" Hercules tried. "Baba ghanoush? Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious?"

Then realization dawned. "Oh yes, of course! Please?"

"Wow, you finally got it!" Nathan said, faking excitement for that. "You must be a real brain surgeon. I hope you use all that intelligence for a good cause. You know, like making sure someone gets regular Coke instead of diet."

"Actually, I'm Hercules," he said, his happy smile unabated by Nathan's sarcasm. "As in the Lion of Olympus, son of Zeus. I'm a professional hero. And business investor."

He just often forgot about those investments.

"Again with the life story," Nathan said, finally reaching for a glass since Hercule had gotten the magic word right. "You some Internet celebrity? Let me guess...you've got some kinky sex tape out and now you think you're famous. Did I get it?"

"...You've not heard of Hercules?" he said, now ironically thinking Nathan was touched in the head. "Did you not study myth as a boy?"

"Mate, I was too busy avoiding the felonious hands of priests to really give a fuck about your myths back when I was a kid," Nathan said, shaking his head. "If you were so important, they'd have made a movie about you and there'd have been tits which would have kept me interested."

"Felonious priests?" Hercules said, a look of horror on his face. "Were they a gang of Ares worshippers? Cultists? I hope they were thwarted by a worthy hero!"

"No, they like to diddle little kids," Nathan said, staring. "I'm beginning to think your mum snorted cocaine while you were in the womb. Or maybe you were just born this special!"

Hercules thumped his hand on the bar. "Give me the name of these fiends, and they shall taste my steel," Hercules said. "For those who pretend to be men of faith should not do such vile things."

He paused.

"They did not have cocaine in Ancient Greece. Silly."

"You need to calm down before you shit yourself and Tino has to clean up the mess," Nathan said, eyes widening. "You really think I remember their names? Come on, I've done too many drugs to remember that. It's a coping strategy. I can forget that -- "

Nathan sniffed and wiped an imaginary tear from his eye. " -- that awful time."

Hercules put on a very sympathetic face. "No wonder you seem so damaged," he said, in a reassuring tone. "I wish I could wreak vengeance for you."

"Are you shitting me with this charade?" Nathan asked, rolling his eyes. "You hearing Jesus too, mate? Maybe taking a piss with Mohammed?"

"You doubt, of course," Hercules said. "But what proof would you ask of me? Is it so hard to believe, on this island of wonderment?"

"Why the fuck do you think I care so much?" Nathan asked him, shaking his head. "I don't. You know what I care about? Me. And getting laid. And alcohol. And cigarettes. And porn. But not about you or your continued mental delusions."

Hercules just laughed. "A boy of Dionysus and Aphrodite, I see. Perhaps that is why your mind is so addled that you refuse the evidence of your eyes and ears. It's of no matter to me, of course. If you were a pretty lady, perhaps I would care, but you are not. Indeed, you remind me a touch of Hephaestus in your face, lad."

He laughed again. Greek myth buuuuuuuurn.

"Yeah? And you're a twat," Nathan said, going with what he knew. "If I were a pretty lady and you cared about me, I'd probably drink antifreeze. It'd be easier than dealing with your attention, mate. Give me a cock or give me death!"

"...You are a very strange lad," Hercules said, before chugging his entire drink. "For that, I think I do not wish to tip you."

"Well fuck, I guess that means I can't get that ivory back scratcher!" Nathan said, slapping his forehead. "My life is over! Guess I'll go jump off a fucking bridge!"

"You need a woman in your life," Hercules said, putting the money for the drink on the bar. "Perhaps then you would realize the worth of living."

"Mate, I've got two hands. I can alternate," Nathan said, keeping the fact that he had a girl to himself. "I don't need anyone but me, myself and I. Thanks for the pep talk, though! You're an inspiration to mental patients everywhere."

"I'm an inspiration to good people everywhere," Hercules retorted, a proud smirk on his face. "I hope you enjoy the taste of crow, lad."

He then stood to leave.

"I don't even know what the fuck that means," Nathan said, sounding bored. "And I don't care. Adios, mate."

He took the money and started mumbling about mental patients getting loose. Working at a bar was so fucking trying sometimes.

There is a lounge!

There is a back room!

There is an OOC and I'm around!

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Caritas | Wednesday

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