A Tree in the Park, Saturday Daytime

[halfman-lion.livejournal.com]

Tyrion Lannister had a little list.

He also had a big fucking gun.

The list was of people he needed to use the gun on. The gun was to solve problems. Mostly problems for the Lannister drug cartel, but he'd use it to solve other people's problems if they asked real nice. Asking nice? Meant giving him money.

For now, there was no one to shoot, so Tyrion dragged himself and the gun up to a comfortable branch in the tree and watched for targets to wander past. He was a patient man, but if he got bored, there were plenty of birds to practice his aim on.

[OOC: For anyone who wants to order a hit, get killed, or just ask the violent dwarf why he has a gun in a tree.]

Comments

[knight-fatali.livejournal.com]

Seifer was headed for the church to check on a few things, and decided to take a detour through the park. It wasn't strange to see people in the park on the weekends, but the tiny man in a tree was a different thing.

"Hello, sir. Did you need any help?"

[halfman-lion.livejournal.com]

"It depends," Tyrion said, scooting over so he could look down through the branches to see ... a priest. Hmmm.

"What kind of help are you offering?"

[knight-fatali.livejournal.com]

Seifer placed a hand on his chest and bowed his head to the smaller man.

"The help of a priest, and the love of God."

No, that didn't sound pervy AT ALL.

[swordsandsoccer.livejournal.com]

Dolf did always enjoy being in the park - the sounds of nature, almost but not quite natural-- but at least in places like this, animals and plants could be safe. If almost too safe.

It wasn't quite a forest.

So he walked through the park, determined but cheerful, for today he would be saving many teal deer from the forest. Indeed, he was going to add a few acres to the grounds of his illicit compound, along with the monkey he had so recently freed...

[halfman-lion.livejournal.com]

Tyrion snapped to attention instantly. One of the names on his list was some hippie ... and his monkey.

He hated hippies. And monkeys. Hated them enough that he would have been willing to shoot them both just on principle.

He made soft chittering noises, trying to distract the animal. It was probably too tame to be turned into a killer monkey, but there was always that hope...

[swordsandsoccer.livejournal.com]

Dolf took the monkey's hands in his, and tilted his head up firmly. Yes, first the acres, and the teal deer. Then? He'd tie himself to that boat in the harbor. That'd show them. All of them. Not just one specific family-- all of them.

The monkey pursed her lips, and twisted her head away from her keeper. What...?

[hoorayimrich.livejournal.com]

"I hear you're a man who can... do things." Shooty things. Shooty things for money.

[halfman-lion.livejournal.com]

"Depends what the thing is," Tyrion said cagily. He left the gun in his perch, but shimmied down a bit to make eye contact. You never could quite trust a Stark. "What you got in mind?"

[hoorayimrich.livejournal.com]

Tony was perfectly trust-worthy. It was Howard who was the bad one.

Wait... reverse that.

"There is a man in town who is planning to ruin all my plans. A man named... Ben Skywalker. I need him taken care of. If you know what I mean."

[tatooine-doofus.livejournal.com]

Luke Skywalker, District Attorney, stalked through the park like he owned it. Which he might this week: the lines between Skywalker, Winchester and those upstart Stark territories were fluid.

He stopped at the precise tree he'd been told and leaned against it nonchalantly, dangling a bag of Blue Mountain roast coffee from his fingers. Being caught here would destroy his reelection chances but some things were more important than money.

Grace Winchester was one of them. And his baby sister

"The cat has eaten the canary," he said to the air.

[halfman-lion.livejournal.com]

"The gray cat or the white cat?" A voice from above asked. Meanwhile, a branch with a net fashioned on the end descended to snatch up the coffee. The district attorney was going to pay the same price, no matter how many hits he ordered.

He was a Skywalker. There'd be another hit, soon enough.

[tatooine-doofus.livejournal.com]

"The gray, of course," Luke said. "The instructions on the bag should be followed exactly."

The encoded instructions said to kill Jamie Madrox. "The sooner the better."

[holy-daughter.livejournal.com]

Lucrezia Borgia Sforza Wayne Lannister della Rovere possibly-Luthor was wandering happily through the park. The birds were singing, and the sky was bright. Why shouldn't she be happy? She may theoretically have seduced or married her roommate, but the writers were being intentionally vague on that point, as they weren't sure of the chronology. This might air before the other part did, and that storyline could end up scrapped entirely. So Lucrezia was happy for unspecified reasons that may in fact have been due to marital bliss, if this ended up airing after roommate nuptials that may or may not have taken place.

[halfman-lion.livejournal.com]

Most of Tyrion's hits were business, but this one was personal. Tyrion was happy when she seduced and married his dear cousin Lancel. He put on a nice suit, went to the wedding, toasted the lovely couple.

He even could have forgiven her for killing Lancel. It wasn't like that was the first violent death in the Lannister family tree, and Tyrion had to admit his cousin was sort of a devout moron.

But the bitch hadn't just poisoned Lancel: She had taken off with the antique heirloom Lannister sugar bowl. The sugar bowl Tyrion planned to pass to his first-born son someday.

He took aim and fired a single round toward that vague, beautiful smiling face.

[holy-daughter.livejournal.com]

It was lucky, indeed, that the Pope had decided that his daughter should have trained with Shaolin monks in the ancient art of ninja. Lucrezia only had a moment to react, but that was all she needed; she moved quickly to the left in the sort of bullet-time blur that made the Matrix movies look cool before they got all weird and philosophical and shit.

She stared up into the tree, gaping at her would-be executioner.

"Lord Tyrion!" she cried. No! All her clever plans for naught! How had he found her? How???????????

[multi-madrox.livejournal.com]

Jimmy "The Drunk" Madrox stumbled through the park. With all the booze gone and nothing to buy it with, he had resorted to shoplifting at the Kwik Mart. And since there was no booze he had resorted to drinking massive quantities of mouthwash.

So not only was he stinking drunk, he had fresh minty breath and was cured of gingivitis.

"I'll find you Kaiser Sushi," he drunkenly declared. "If it's the last thing I do."

Unfortunately, Jimmy was in perfect range of a dwarf sniper in a tree.

[halfman-lion.livejournal.com]

This was the easiest pound of coffee Tyrion had ever earned. He aimed at Jamie's head and fired.

He almost felt guilty, killing a drunk.

[iwishiwasbig.livejournal.com]

Between the fact that his head felt like it was collapsing and his body was barely moving at all due to the lack of caffeine in his system, Dave eventually made it to the park, just like DA Skywalker instructed him. Now he just had to look up in the trees for a dwarf.

That shouldn't have been the toughest part of the quest, but he was just having trouble lifting his head that high. Especially when there was a bright sun in the sky.

So he decided to just yell. "Is there a dwarf around here somewhere? I need some bean! I'm willing to pay for it!"

Dave wasn't the world's stealthiest coffee junkie.

[halfman-lion.livejournal.com]

The branches above Dave's head rustled, and a head poked out. "What can you pay?"

If it was sushi, Tyrion was in.

[iwishiwasbig.livejournal.com]

"I have ten bucks," Dave called out. He'd offer to whore himself out, but he was pretty sure DA Skywalker would actually prosecute that one.

[onapalebicycle.livejournal.com]

Today, George had made an investment, and that investment was a video camera. It had seemed like the way to go.

Wandering through the park, and spotting a dwarf in a tree waving a gun, George was deciding that the video camera was an absolute steal.

"Hi there," she said, trying to look as nonchalant as possibly while ... filming a dwarf assassin in a tree.

[halfman-lion.livejournal.com]

"Hey," Tyrion said, sounding ... about as casual as a dwarf assassin in a tree could possibly sound. "You aren't going to show this to anyone, are you?"

Every once in a while, you found a cop who wasn't crooked. Tyrion would rather not kill or buy off any more of those than he had to.

[onapalebicycle.livejournal.com]

"What, this?" George said, before shaking her head. "Nah. It's just a home movie. I wanted to get the trees today."

She wasn't really panicking yet. This was way too awesome for her to be worried about the fact that he actually had a gun.

[i-am-the-rat.livejournal.com]

Stealth Hank moved swiftly through the park, hiding behind tree trunks so well that nobody would ever see him.

Unless they were behind him, like the midget assassin in the tree. He'd forgotten to check behind him.

[halfman-lion.livejournal.com]

Tyrion didn't think he had a hit for the blond kid. He didn't even know the blond kid.

He was going to take a quick shot at him, anyhow. He looked like he might be up to something, and even if he wasn't, Tyrion could use the practice.