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Caritas | Saturday Evening

There was absolutely no explanation given as to why or how Charles Bass-possibly-Stark-who-knows-anymore came back from the dead after getting gutted during the last episode but did anybody really need care? He brought in the ratings and, by god, he was going to survive this time.

When Charles stepped into Caritas the dramatic music from the zombies swelled and his scarf blew in the wind that came seemingly out of nowhere.

"Tino, to the distillery. I require a bit of the Shine," Charles ordered. "And stop playing Dueling Banjos when you're down there, it freaks people out."

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The zombies will play whatever entrance music you'd like.

Where Charles was drinking "water" and would maybe give you "water" if you had the money.

Perfect place for publicly declaring a secret.

If you throw a drink in someone's face please clean up after yourself.

I've missed this.

Jaina had not expected to see Charles here. At all. Ever again. Yet when she arrived, there he was.

"Charles," she said from the door, and looked like she might be trying to divide 232 by 13 in her head.

"I need the strongest water you can get," Bruce said, taking a seat at the bar. It had been a long day. He pulled out a wad of bills and slapped it on the counter. "And keep the tap running."

The length of the time Charles waited to answer Jaina was almost obscenely long. Seriously, one might have thought he hadn't heard her.

A couple more moments...

"Jaina." There we go. "I didn't expect to see you here."

"I'd heard you were gutted!" she said, walking towards him. "I just came to... to remember."

The night before her wedding to another guy. Again.

Charles looked down at the money and then back up at Bruce. He may have been obscenely rich but he wasn't about to turn down the chance to add to his fortune. He liked to make it rain at clubs.

He put his hand over the bills and lowered his voice enough so it sounded like he was whispering but was so loud even Tino in the distillery could probably hear him. "Would you like fruit flavored water or the kind of water that tastes like paint thinner?"

"Remember?" he repeated, sounding pained. "Remember what, exactly? Don't act like I ever meant anything to you!"

"Let's go with the paint thinner. It's been that kind of day," Bruce said, shaking his head.

Edited 2011-09-10 20:38 (UTC)

"You mean everything to me!" she cried, one single perfect tear slipping down her cheek. "You're the only man I've ever really loved!"

Charles gave Bruce a nod and not-so-subtly hunched down behind the bar so he could get Bruce his "water".

It would have been a lot more covert if he stopped clanking the mason jars full of moonshine together.

"Here you go, sir," Charles said, popping back up and sliding over a glass full of clear liquid. "One...water."

He was the king of secrecy, yes.

"If only I could believe you, Jaina!" Charles cried. "But I'm afraid I know you too well. The only person you'll ever love is yourself."

Edited 2011-09-10 21:00 (UTC)

Bruce raised the glass in toast before taking a sip.

Then he choked a little as it went down. "That's some strong water. Plenty of... minerals."

"But it does hit the spot."

"That's not true!" she cried back, coming over to the other side of the bar because it was just better blocking to not have a whole thing between two people having an emotional argument. "Everything I've done, I've done so we could be together!"

Was it true? Had she lost everything?

"I do pride myself on my water," Charles said, looking pleased. "The other bar in town is crap when it comes to good quality water, make note of that."

Though he had to admit their staff was a bit more attractive than what he had.

"Is that so?" Charles asked, taking a dramatic step forward now there wasn't a bar in the way. "Then why are you marrying some other man!"

Oh yes he knew about that.

"Because he wants control of the Skywalker empire!" she hissed. "Don't you understand? I need to get him out of the way! I don't love him!" Even if he gave her sushi. And fishy love, apparently.

"I'll drink to that," Bruce said. Slowly. Because of the burning taste. "Their band smells better, though."

They didn't have a band. And yes, that was the joke.

"Is that the truth?" he asked, looking deep into her eyes. Deeeeeeeep into them. "You just want your family's money? You don't think...he's cuter than me?"

"I could never think that, Charles. There's no one cuter than you," Jaina told him.

"Well we can't all be perfect," Charles said, being humble for once. "What brings you here? Something about a rough day?"

He always liked gathering blackmail material.

Lucrezia Borgia¹ Sforza² Wayne³ Lannister⁴ della Rovere⁵ possibly-Luthor⁶ sauntered into Caritas as if she owned it. She didn't, although she could possibly convince her father to buy it for her. She hadn't bothered saving her own money. She spent it traveling so she could find men. Then marry them, and then toss them aside again.

The bartender was handsome, and she wondered if he was single. She might or might not be single again⁷ herself.

"Might a pope's daughter have a drink?"

--
¹ maiden name
² Giovanni: canon first husband
³ Bruce
⁴ Lancel, cousin to Tyrion
⁵ Giuliano: canon rival of her father's
⁶ Lex, which may or may not have happened; the writers are confused on the chronology of events and what storylines have been canceled
⁷ depending on whether or not any of her other husbands were living, and where in the chronology Luthor went

Edited 2011-09-10 21:34 (UTC)

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Caritas | Saturday Evening

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Back Room

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