fandomtownies | Entries tagged with jake doyle

It had also been far too long (though admittedly less long than they'd been doctorless) since Fandom had a sheriff, so look who was back.

Well, not really back, he'd been here the whole time, apparently. Yes, that's right. Jake Doyle was showing up for work in Fandom like it hadn't been at least five years since he'd last set foot on the island. Totally super normal. Yep.

shagthis.livejournal.com

Look, Jake was a detective. He was, actually, reasonably observant (if we weren't talking about people's feelings, those he was bad at figuring out). So the recent influx of people had definitely not gone unnoticed. Nor had the reasoning that if there were more people than normal, probably at least one of them had ended up in the jail at some point. So here he was, going over intake paperwork and- yep. There it was. Along with outgoing paperwork not even half an hour later.

Okay. Whatever. There was no one in the cells currently, though, so Jake was just going to sign off on the paperwork and get the whole story out of Jessica later, hopefully.

[ooc: open station is open, though with SP from me as i will be pinging from work!]

shagthis.livejournal.com

Jake had a problem.

A tiny umbrella problem.

The little paper decorations were something of a regular fixture in the bar, because there were a number of tropical-themed drinks that called for them as decoration, but today?

Today they were in every drink. Without having to be put there.

Which Jake discovered as he attempted to take a swig from his beer bottle only to get himself stabbed in the mouth with the pointy tip of a paper umbrella.

shagthis.livejournal.com

Look, Jake had done actual Sheriff-y work yesterday, so naturally today he was rewarding himself with a glass of whisky as soon as he got to his other job.

Never you mind that pouring himself a drink as soon as he arrived was precisely how he started every Caritas shift, regardless.

shagthis.livejournal.com

On the plus side, Jake didn't have to deal with a hungover Tino.

On the minus side, Jake had to deal with a hungover Jake. Which, naturally, meant drinking even more, because that's how he rolled.

shagthis.livejournal.com

Jake had woken up this morning only to find that every single shirt he owned was now some shade of pink. He knew very well it wasn't a laundry-related problem, because, well. Let's face it. He did his laundry as infrequently as possible and the last time he'd bothered had been over two weeks ago. He would have noticed if all his shirts were pink before that.

So that left Fandom being Fandom, meaning eventually everything would turn back. So he'd grabbed a pink and red plaid shirt and thrown his leather jacket on over that, figuring it was suitably manly.

When he got to Caritas, that just confirmed the 'Fandom being Fandom' suspicion, as Tino was clad in a pink dress shirt and even the zombies had some scraggly looking pink stuff on. Whatever, Jake was just gonna write up a quick specials board to go with what was apparently a theme or something and then make sure the TVs were set to tonight's hockey games.

SPECIAL:
HALF-OFF SOUR WATERMELON SHOTS

shagthis.livejournal.com

There had been a bunch of new arrivals lately, and Jake was nothing if not genre-savvy. If it wasn't the start of a new school semester, such occurences usually heralded the coming of something big.

He... really wasn't sure how he felt about that, honestly.

So he was gonna deal with his undefined feelings by doing what else? Drinking.

shagthis.livejournal.com

Jake had spent the better part of the past week talking himself out of calling home. Sure, the ~~handwavy~~ conversations he'd had with the Trooper Station staff had seemed to indicate that he was, in fact, on good speaking terms with most of his family, but...

What if that was only local to the island? What if he called, and the call connected back to that reality where he'd taken the fall for a murder he hadn't committed? And if he spoke to the family of the Jake Doyle he'd apparently replaced, it wouldn't really be the same, would it?

All this bullshit was resulting on him teetering on the edge of an existential crisis, so Jake was just going to deal with this the same way he dealt with every other crisis: drinking. Heavily.

shagthis.livejournal.com

Okay, so living in Fandom for so long had him used to any number of weird things unexpectedly happening, but Tino greeting him with his real name, and not the alias he'd been using for the past thirteen years (Alan Crowe, if anyone was curious) was by far the most disturbing.

He'd hurriedly shoved Tino into the stockroom and demanded an explanation. How had he found out? What, exactly, had he found out? Had he told anyone? Jake had built himself a nice little life here while he waited for the perfect time to confront that backstabbing ex-partner of his, he wasn't ready to see it all come crashing down because of some loudmouthed idiot.

Several minutes of frantic babbling later, and Jake had more or less pieced together that Tino hadn't figured anything out (which made sense, the guy could barely tell his arse from his head, most days), but that Fandom was being weird again, and he'd somehow ended up somewhere where that whole "being framed for murder" thing had clearly gone down very, very differently.

Jake figured the whole thing would sort itself out eventually, but in the meantime? He was just going to try and enjoy not having to use a psuedonym for as long as this lasted.

[ooc: yep, to the all, like, two of you who follow the show, Jake is now the Jake from a universe where he was framed instead of Crocker.]

shagthis.livejournal.com

In Jake's opinion, there were few things worse than coming in to your job at a bar and finding the stockroom more or less empty.

There was one thing that he could definitely think of as worse, though: coming in to your job at a bar and finding the stockroom now contained no alcohol, but did house a trebuchet.

The hell was he even supposed to do with that?

Luckily, there was still enough stock out front that they should be okay, and he just... really hoped that the stockroom would be back to normal sometime soon.

shagthis.livejournal.com

When Jake finally managed to make his way down to Caritas, it was to find a crate stamped "OCME" waiting at the service entrance. With a shrug, he brought it inside. He didn't recognize the brand, but they were always getting new liquors for the bar's stock, so.

He definitely wasn't expecting the toy airplanes that came whizzing out of the box once he pried the lid open, though.

shagthis.livejournal.com

A day and eight showers later, Jake was still leaving glitter-trails everywhere he walked. It was getting on his nerves.

"Not a word, skipper," he said, wagging a finger at Ralph before proceeding directly to the coffee machine where he proceeded to poke at it until it dispensed the blessed caffienated liquid.

If anyone needed Jake, he'd be in his office, inhaling coffee like it was air.

[ooc: mostly for one who knows who he is, but open!]

shagthis.livejournal.com

Honestly, up until he'd arrived at work, Jake's day had been going exceedingly well. In retrospect, he should have seen this coming.

Oh, not the delivery itself. That was normal enough.

But the fact that amongst the crates of beer, rum, and other assorted liquors, there was one that had clearly not been intended for Caritas, seeing as it was full of craft supplies.

Including a large tub of glitter that had broken open during shipping, meaning that when Jake opened the crate to unpack what he thought was a case of flavoured vodkas, he instead got a rather thorough glitterbombing.

So, yes, Caritas was open, and the bar was manned by someone leaving glitter-vapour trails everywhere he walked.

shagthis.livejournal.com

Jake was feeling a bit scruffy today- well, scruffier than usual. This was due to the fact that when he'd stumbled to the bathroom for a shower, he'd found the usual fixtures replaced by something that looked straight out of a science fiction novel.

He'd decided he didn't trust it, and let it be. His regular shower was back shortly before he'd had to leave for work, but by then there hadn't been time, so.

There was a Jake. There was a judgemental-looking Tino. There was, as usual on Jake's nights during hockey season, a hockey game on TV.

shagthis.livejournal.com

It wasn't that Jake didn't like Christmas, it was just that he preferred all Christmas-y things to at least wait until December 1st to start appearing. Which, ahaha, not so much, what with Christmas stuff being carted out as soon as Halloween was over, these days.

On the other hand, it meant a shipment of peppermint-flavoured vodka had arrived for the bar, and, well, Jake could hardly let that go without giving it a taste-test, now, could he?

shagthis.livejournal.com

Vodka was not Jake's drink of choice by any means, but he was not in principle opposed to it. Or even the existence of the multitudes of flavoured vodka that were out there.

This, though...

"It's official," he told Tino solemnly. "Things have gone too far."

Pumpkin pie vodka. Seriously. WHY.

Jake was so busy staring at the bottle of pumpkin pie vodka in dismay he didn't actually notice that the zombie band had jumped on the whole pumpkin bandwagon too, and had carved jack'o'lanterns to put over their heads.

shagthis.livejournal.com

If anyone asked, Jake was totally not at all disappointed to arrive at Caritas to find a distinct lack of bunnies inhabiting the place.

The not-disappointment was soon forgotten in the face of taste-testing the new rum shipment. Sure, only one of the bottles actually came from a new distillery, but Jake had to make sure the rest of the stuff was up to the usual exacting standards his boss demanded, right?

shagthis.livejournal.com

Football was okay and all, but Jake was beginning to get tired of it. The sport was an okay enough thing to pass the time during the summer when there was no hockey on, but... well, now that hockey season was gearing up, Jake was glad to have something else to watch. Even if they were just preseason games.

shagthis.livejournal.com

Well. That had been an interesting morning.

Jake was dealing with it the way he dealt with most things (including uninteresting mornings): by drinking.

Yeah, yeah, he'd totally also serve drinks to other people too. Whatever.

shagthis.livejournal.com

Contrary to some peoples' opinion, Jake was actually pretty good at being a member of an organized police force.

It helped that he didn't have a hooker-murdering partner here. And that there wasn't so much a crime rate as the occasional invasion of creepy-ass monster things.

Anyway. Point is, most of Jake's job as sheriff didn't involve criminals so much as it involved making sure the Troopers kept in shape. Which is why he was in his office today, sipping a cup of coffee and watching the squad with a critical eye as they did jumping jacks.

[ooc: expecting one, but oooopen!]

shagthis.livejournal.com

Jake didn't often bring work to, well. Work. But there had been a flurry of calls left on the station voicemail about unidentified lawn gnomes appearing in front of people's houses when he'd checked in before heading to Caritas. So he was dealing with the resulting paperwork and directing troopers via the phone to go out and talk to the concerned Fandom citizens in between pouring drinks. As you do.

shagthis.livejournal.com

Technically speaking, Jake was present at the bar.

He was just, you know. Way too absorbed in a marathon of The Hollywood Complication to actually do things like, oh. Work.

A grumbling Tino would gladly fetch your drinks for you if so desired, however.

[ooc: posting from phone & out & about today so ocd-free!]

shagthis.livejournal.com

So Jake had come back from... being puppyfied... to find that his usual shift at Caritas had been given to someone else. Oops.

A few rounds of phone tag later, and everything was straightened out and he still had a job. Well, a job that wasn't being sheriff of a town that basically policed itself. A job where drinking while on duty was entirely acceptable.

Never mind that Tino was giving him some seriously disdainful side-eye for the number of shifts Jake had missed recently. Not all of those were exactly under his control!

shagthis.livejournal.com

Look, as far as Jake was concerned, hockey was over, barring the traditional Booing of the Commissioner.

Instead he was focusing on checking Twitter for news about the Argos. Maybe a little *too* focused.

shagthis.livejournal.com

The student population of the island may have been occupied today with moving in to... whatever the hell those things were, Jake didn't even want to know. But Jake wasn't a student, so hah. He was occupied with something much more important.

No, not hockey. The playoffs were still a thing, Jake supposed, but since every team he actually cared about had been knocked out, the game was really only on for background noise. The rum was occupying most of Jake's attention today.

shagthis.livejournal.com

So living on an island without any, you know, actual driveable streets meant Jake didn't get out in the GTO as often as he was used to. So, yeah, sometimes he came out to the parking lot to ~~talk to it~~ give it a wash (look, it accumulated a lot of dust just sitting there, okay) and maybe take it over to the mainland for a spin.

This time, though, something else caught his attention.

No, it wasn't that horrific black-and-yellow-minivan, but a black Chevy Impala.

"Nice," he couldn't help observing with an appreciative little grin. He still loved his own car best, of course, but that didn't mean he couldn't admire others, right?

[ooc: expecting one, but could be open, sure!]

shagthis.livejournal.com

The weirdness had, yet again, skipped Jake.

He was honestly at the point where his relief at being skipped over by these things actually looped around full circle until he was worried that this meant Fandom had something big planned for him, eventually.

It's a good thing he worked in a bar, because Jake's method of dealing with this sort of sense of foreboding was to drink. Heavily.

shagthis.livejournal.com

Jake was in an exceedingly good mood today. And why, you ask? Well, his team had clinched a playoff spot for the first time in nine shagging years last night.

Naturally, he was celebrating with plenty of whiskey. And some zombie-assisted renditions of "The Good Old Hockey Game."

Tino just looked vaguely disgusted by the whole thing and was vigorously polishing the bar counter.

shagthis.livejournal.com

Jake had no children show up for him this year, which was fine with him, really. Tinny and Des were enough work, and they were basically adults. Well, Tinny was. Jake wasn't so sure about Des.

In any case, he was so totally fine with not having any kids show up. Even if he had been pondering, lately, what a Jake and Leslie baby might look like.

Current Mood: embarrassed

shagthis.livejournal.com

There was no overabundance of plastic grass in Caritas, but truthfully, Jake would've taken that over what had happened.

Namely that all of the booze was now pastel coloured.

Look, green beer on St Paddy's was bad enough. Jake just did not trust pale pink beer, okay. It was just wrong.

shagthis.livejournal.com

The rum was back. The rum was back!

Yes, it had been back for several days at this point but Jake was still celebrating. By drinking rum. Don't you judge him.

... Okay, yeah, maybe you should judge him. Tino certainly was.

shagthis.livejournal.com

This past few days had... not been Jake's favourite, no. It had started on Friday when he'd caught a cadre of squirrels attempting to break into his liquor cabinet.

They had not been successful, thank god. But then the rum had eventually run out and there hadn't been any more anywhere on island and seriously he was this close to hopping on a ferry back home because rum goddamnit.

At least there was still beer?

"You have got to be shitting me," Jake grumbled as he poured himself a very green pint.

shagthis.livejournal.com

Jake was at work. Jake was also feeling vaguely disgruntled. No, not because ninety percent of the island had just spent a week sailing around Turkey in the summertime.

Okay, maybe a little because ninety percent of the island had just spent a week sailing around Turkey in the summertime.

But mostly, mostly it was because tonight was the inagural broadcast of the Canadian Screen Awards and not only was "Screenies" a stupid nickname, but a particularly well-known CBC TV series that took place in his hometown had been all but shut out of the nominations. Not that Jake actually watched Commonwealth of Crosbie, mind you (the premise was a little far-fetched), but still. On behalf of St. John's, Jake was feeling snubbed.

shagthis.livejournal.com

Strange as it may seem, Jake was in fact perfectly aware that there were places in town that were not bars, the Trooper station, or the Arms.

In fact, he was at one such place now, since he felt the need for something to stave off the chill and ahahaha like he owned a coffeemaker. So raspberry mocha from the Perk it was, with a generous splash of rum because Jake that's why. And a red velvet muffin because it was really just a step away from being a cupcake.

And yes, he'd rolled the rim of his paper coffee cup up, purely out of habit, before remembering this was the Perk, not a Tim's.

[ooc: omg open!]

willbethenight.livejournal.com

A sign was posted at the front door:

Caritas Presents:
3 MINUTE DATES

With less pomp and circumstance than usual, it was time to start the dates right at 8:00. Fandom alum Bruce Wayne strode out onto the stage with some notecards in one hand and a rather festive-looking drink in the other.

"Good evening. Welcome to Caritas, and welcome to Three Minute Dates. If you're in the student group and have been in Fandom at least a year now, there's a fair chance that you already know that I'm Bruce Wayne, because I probably met you on a date at one of these events," Bruce said, giving a small smile and a shrug. "But on the chance that you didn't meet me that way, hi, it's nice to meet you now. I graduated from Fandom High in 2012. Before then, I apparently did so many of these things that when they needed a host, somebody remembered me and figured I was qualified."

"So, clearly, 3 Minute Dates didn't work for me in the long-term. But I had enough fun meeting people and making connections that I came back time after time. I hope all of you have at least that same kind of experience." Bruce took a sip of his drink before placing it on the stool next to him.

"But enough of that. Let's get things started. First things first, let me introduce your Fandom High Gremlins cheerleaders, who have been good enough to cheer everyone on. And, according to my notes, it looks like several of them will even be participating in the dates. Second, the rules are simple. I'll read off the names of the pairings in each round. You'll meet up, talk for three minutes, and then the zombie drummer will hit the gong and we'll move to the next round. After doing this five times, the dates are over and the next round will be at the bar and will be drinks. I'm paying."

"Good luck, everyone!"

[The Bar Before the Dates | Round 1 | Round 2 | Round 3 | Round 4 | Round 5 | OOC]
[Regular post-dates Caritas post]

[OOC: Three minutes = ten comments total, five per person. You don't need to do your threads chronologically, but try not to Joss yourself.

Epic OCD is ~~beginning.For the love of god, please wait until I'm done.~~ all set! Go, play! Big thanks to

solo_sword for the assist!

If I made a blatant mistake, like skipping a character completely for a round or posting a pairing twice, feel free to grab me on AIM or in the OOC thread and I'll make a quick fix. Remember, attacks on your dates will get you teleported elsewhere on the island.

Also remember that most playing should happen on Saturday, but if you need to finish things up on Sunday, that's fine.

A regular post-dates Caritas post will go up Saturday afternoon.]

shagthis.livejournal.com

Yesterday he'd drowned his sorrows in beer. Seeing as that had gone fairly well, today he was also drowning his sorrows in beer.

And Jam Jams.

God bless convenience stores located on multi-dimensional nexuses.

Caritas was open, and maybe if you were lucky Jake would share some cookies with you.

shagthis.livejournal.com

Jake had woken up yesterday with all the parts he was supposed to have, and he was perfectly fine with that, thank you.

He wasn't perfectly fine with... whateverthehell the zombie band was up to tonight. The drummer and guitarist would semi-frequently break out in solos (even when the song didn't normally call for a solo), during which the other zombies would stand up and sort of... sway, stiff-armed and limp-wristed. When Jake tried asking wtf they were doing, he just got groaned at something about "YOLO" and "SWAG".

Right then.

He was just going to be over here, drinking the merchandise.

shagthis.livejournal.com

Yeah, okay. Jake was a little early for work today. Don't look at him like that, Tino. He needed that pre-work pint, okay?

shagthis.livejournal.com

It had taken some fast-talking, but Jake had managed to make a convincing argument to whatsisface (Guy, Jake. His name was Guy.) regarding trading days, so here he was.

In all his obnoxiously cheerful glory, given certain hockey-related news from earlier today.

Hmmm. Maybe he could come up with a drink to represent each team in the league? It'd keep him from getting bored, anyway. And keep him from attempting to ask the zombie band why they kept playing the wedding march.

shagthis.livejournal.com

Jake had not mysteriously gained superpowers over the weekend. Jake also had not lost any particular skills over the weekend, judging by the fact that he woke up on... someone else's lawn, clutching a plastic lawn gremlin to his chest.

And now he was at work. Downing a glass of rum because... because it technically wasn't drinking alone if Tino was there, right? Right?

shagthis.livejournal.com

Jake looking somewhat bedraggled as he finally ambled his way into the bar for his shift was- not actually all that unusual. Sadly, waking up in the late afternoon after having passed out on a park bench the night before was a somewhat typical occurrence. And so it was that Jake was absently brushing bits of leaf out of his hair after he plopped himself down behind the bar tonight.

[ooc: scattered availability tonight, so i post early to make sure i don't forgeeeet.]

cataclysmicluck.livejournal.com

A year ago, Zayne was on top of the world. An associate of the Skywalkers. Slowly buying up all of the independent land on the island for himself. But then he lost everything.

Everything... including his dignity.

The only things he managed to keep were his body and any clothes that were tight enough to let people know that yeah, he was willing to lease his body out for a reasonable price. He made his way over to the warehouse district, found a nice street corner, and tried to look classy, but not TOO classy and definitely for sale.

Business world, Zayne Carrick would be back inside of you just as soon as he had the money, just like... Actually, let's just leave it at that.

[OOC: Yes, I declare the warehouse district to be where SOW hookers go. TRY TO RESIST THE WHOREHOUSE DISTRICT PUN. YOU CANNOT.

Open to customers, fellow hookers, and maybe even police.]

shagthis.livejournal.com

When Jake walked in to Caritas, instead of the sounds of the zombie band warming up there was... silence.

"What," he said slowly, eyeing them suspiciously, "is going on with you fools?" It was then that he noticed that they all seemed to be wearing white face paint. And berets. And stripey shirts. "You have got to be kidding me," he groaned. "It's not even Halloween!"

Tino, by contrast, was sitting at the corner of the bar, a tub of white face paint by his side and looking decidedly green himself.

"...So, so glad I didn't come in early," Jake decided. Better Tino got drafted to zombie-makeup duty than he, after all.

shagthis.livejournal.com

It seemed there were some forces at work on the island that were not quite ready to see the end of the weetiny transformation. At least, Jake was going to assume it was the island and not, say, Tino, behind the fact that every. single. glass. at Caritas seemed to have been replaced by sippy cups.

On the bright side, Jake supposed, it would make the process of making mixed drinks a little more streamlined.

SPECIAL:
10% OFF ALL MIXED DRINKS

Potential customers would just have to deal with drinking liquor from a sippy cup, that's all.

shagthis.livejournal.com

Jake had not gone to Africa. And no, he totally wasn't bitter. Really. Who had time to be bitter when he was busy trying to wrangle the Troopers? Not him.

But right now Jake was taking a break from that in order to do his other job, which didn't really explain why he was standing behind the bar with a bag of frozen peas applied to the side of his face.

"Where did we even get frozen peas?" he demanded of Tino. He was fairly sure Kitty wouldn't have ordered them. "And why? It's not like any of us who work here are actually going to eat them." A beat. "Also WHY DID YOU HIT ME?"

shagthis.livejournal.com

Just because Jake hadn't had any family (or whatever the hell Des was) visit this past weekend didn't mean he'd been exempt from being checked up on, as evidenced by the scowl on his face as he grumbled in to the phone on his way in to the bar.

"No, they haven't fired m- you put money on how long I'd last, didn't you?" Jake rolled his eyes. "Some father. I'm hanging up now."

shagthis.livejournal.com

When Jake arrived at the bar it was to find Tino hunched over a notebook at the counter. Closer examination revealed that Tino was scribbling away on grid paper at... math problems?

"You lookin' at getting your GED finally, wha?" he asked. Tino did not grace that with a reply.

shagthis.livejournal.com

Jake wasn't quite willing to admit it, but he was feeling more than a little homesick today. Hence the drink of choice being rum, tonight. And the band was playing a selection of Great Big Sea songs in between karaoke requests. That the lead singer (...of Great Big Sea, not the zombie band) happened to bear a striking resemblance to a certain undercover agent of his acquaintance hadn't really occured to him until now. Huh. Weird.

shagthis.livejournal.com

Jake was totally absolutely not late.

You shut up, Tino.

shagthis.livejournal.com

Jake honestly didn't give a shit about whatever Tino was up to. He could be writing the next Great American Novel on his phone (but more likely he was just trying to text that girl from the Perk) or whatever. As long as he got people drinks when they needed them, Jake didn't care.

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