fandomtownies | Entries tagged with tiny hates everything

"No." Bo crossed her arms behind the bar and ignored the balloon Tiny was holding out to her. "I already told you my terms. The whole thing or no deal."

Tiny held up his phone in the other hand, then made a show of putting it away. Bo just shook her head.

"No. I don't care if you record me. I'm just not doing it without the quid pro quo." She reached out and bopped the balloon lightly. "Every. Single. Verse."

Which was why anyone visiting the bar tonight, including the guests at Warren and Karla's birthday party, would find themselves treated to a high-pitched -- and very long -- performance of I Am The Very Model Of A Modern Major-General from the huge guy in the leather vest.

Bo's performance, they'd have to be very good at searching YouTube (or know Tiny's username) to find, and also fast enough to get there before Bo filed the fake DMCA takedown notice. Or the obscenity one. She was still trying to decide which seemed more likely coming from Disney.

[Open! Karla and Warren's birthday party be happenin' in the VIP area; the rest of the joint is open to anyone.]

nookiepowered

After two years worth of kids -- hers and other people's -- tromping in, you'd think Bo would be able to predict when this was going to go down and dress at least vaguely like she didn't work in a particularly dangerous brothel slash martial arts studio, but in her defense, last year it happened after Prom. She thought she had at least two more months to work with here!

At least Tiny had no room to give her crap about it, Bo thought as she set up the bar and watched him explain his job as a bouncer to the three-inch-tall gossamer-winged preschooler who was riding around on his shoulder.

His shirtless shoulder with the studded leather armband just below it.

The gesture he made when Bo lifted an eyebrow in his direction was either Apparently I shrunk? or something she'd never seen a guy admit about himself ever. Bo just shook her head, said, "I don't wanna know," and gave the kid a maraschino cherry she was still nibbling on half an hour later.

Welcome to the Devil's Nest.
Yes, we card.
But we also have half-price milkshakes.

nookiepowered

After the third time she got shot, Bo was completely frakking over this 'storm the gates' idea. So though she'd planned on skipping out, she found herself behind the bar tonight after all, if only to make up for the cash she'd lost today.

The specials board read:

Sick of paying for coming back from the dead? Me too.
One free Corpse Reviver per customer with New-U receipt.

Tiny, meanwhile, was over in the corner near the payphone, having an existential crisis because he accidentally thought about the fact that this was only a digital reconstruction of his original body, which died the first time he respawned.

pandora-baddies.livejournal.com

It felt like a finale day, didn't it, Fandom? ~~It wasn't.~~ Word had been passed around that this would be the day Fandom would rise up and charge at Hyperion's dig site in the afternoon, and make an attempt to break through the perimeter to discover just what was happening inside, and whether the Vault key was there, and whether they could get it away from Hyperion if it was.

It was a noble goal!

One that their guests on the island had no prior knowledge about, of course. The dig site continued to be operational and heavily guarded, although the noise level was even lower than yesterday. Maybe that was good, or maybe that was bad. Elsewhere on the island, some posters celebrating Handsome Jack (so that's what he looked like! … maybe) and Hyperion had appeared on walls.

Meanwhile, there continued to be weird and wonderful creatures out in the preserve, and in the east, some of the psychos were starting to roam outside of their previously established comfort zone. Even maniacs got bored, see. They needed a change.

Happy weekend, Fandom. And happy desperate attack day.

nookiepowered

"Seriously, Tiny? They're salt and pepper shakers. And they're elves. I bought them because they reminded me of my grandma's house."

Tiny just pointed and shook his head again, then headed out to stand at the door. Outside the door, because he refused to come back in until Bo got rid of them.

It was gonna be a long night.

Hopefully not a rainy one, for Tiny's sake, since those elves were staying right there on the bar until closing time when Bo could take them home.

nookiepowered

"We are not leaving that sign up." Or rather, since Bo had already ripped it down and was using the rolled-up paper to gesticulate, it might be more accurate to say they weren't putting it back up. "I'm down with No Ukeleles, but No Gnomes? What the hell, Tiny? Since when did you turn racist? Okay, speciesist, whatever. Not cool."

A long explanation and a lot of eyerolling later, Bo reluctantly taped the sign back up. It now read:

NO creepy non-sentient, cursed, possessed and/or evil plastic GNOMES ALLOWED.

Non-creepy non-plastic non-evil gnomes are welcome unless you have a ukelele.

nookiepowered

Bo had seen some creepy-ass things in her time. Hell, Bo had been some creepy-ass things in her time. She'd never, however -- and she was counting mechanical spiders and rabid alien-infested teal deer here -- seen anything creepier than Tiny hunched over his smartphone, staring at the BBC Breaking feed, his shoulders shaking and eyes suspiciously misty.

"What? What's the matter?"

But all she could get out of him was "NooooooooooooOOOOooooOOOOooooOOOOoooooooooo..." and then something about owing Anakin money.

By the time Bo had set up the bar and fruitlessly asked the DJ if he knew what was wrong with Tiny, she was considering flashing the poor guy just to cheer him up.

Considering.

nookiepowered

Was Tiny going to ask why Tino was hiding under the bar? No. No, he was not.

Was Tino going to tell him anyway? Yes, yes of course he was.

Was "Shhh, dominatrixes will get me!" going to make any sense, ever? No, no it was not. Nor was it spelled right.

As for Bo, Tiny just assumed dominatrices got her, and set up the bar by himself.

[OOC: It's a mod Tiny or Tino night! Or both, but they'll only make out with each other if there's also a chick involved. Just saying.]

nookiepowered

Tiny arrived to find a note on the counter:

Due to an unexpected delay in ongoing contract negotiations, the part of Bo will be played tonight by ~~Dustin Hoffman~~ ~~Warren Beatty~~ ~~Dolph Lundgren~~ this slightly soggy jack-o-lantern with an axe embedded in the top left side of its face. Good luck with that.

He'd probably be more concerned if he hadn't already seen the group of gremlins out back in the alley performing an exorcism on a teal deer with a bandage-wrapped face, while Alot of Bystanders (a vaguely bison-shaped Katamari of jammed-together faces and feet) looked on.

So. One of those weekends.

He sprayed some Glade Everfresh Minty Pine Scent ^TM air freshener toward the rotting pumpkin smell (making sure the label was clearly visible for proper product placement), then got to work setting things up behind the bar.

nookiepowered

Bo had been here. For about 30 seconds.

Just long enough to see the towering feminine figure in leather leaning on the bar, get grinned and waved at, and spin around on her heel to stalk out the door, "Very fucking funny, Tiny," echoing back over her shoulder.

Tiny, for the record, had been in the Men's Room.

Now he was watching the door, and a slightly confused Bitsy was covering the bar, wondering what her brother had done to piss Bo off.

The last trip being a memorable exception, she always did seem to have the worst timing when it came to visiting family.

[Gonna be ouuuut; you get Tiny and his non-fake sister!]

nookiepowered

So apparently "But Mister What is on and I want to see if they stomp any steampunk spiders" did not trump "Tiny, you don't seem to understand what I'm saying here. There is not a pizza guy outside my door. There is a pizza outside my door. Both of my doors. A giant pizza. Slapped up on end outside each door. I can't get out of my house."

Rassenrumblefrassen. Bo didn't even have a house; she had a hardware store. And now Tiny was hungry for giant pizzas.

And watching Mister What on a small portable TV set up at the bar. You'd get served; you would just have to put up with a lot of distracted staring at the screen and the occasional mutter about how The One At The OK Corral Where Mister What Had A Toothache was better.

[OOC: Tiny is here for your drinking and dancing pleasure. I... napped way too damned late and now my brain is mush.]

nookiepowered

You could ask why Tiny was wearing the moose antlers tonight, but you might want to be careful who you asked.

Bo would tell you.

Tiny would... Look, do you really need anyone to spell out what would happen if you walked up to the guy in the sleeveless leather vest, looked his kneecap in the face, and asked why he was wearing a moose-antler hat?

Aside from Bo snickering; that one was a given. She was doing that anyway, though. She would just snicker louder if she got to watch Tiny drop-kick some suicidal idiot out the door.

[OOC: Open like an open bar, except for the free booze part.]

nookiepowered

"No, no, hell no, even if you offered to stand there and fan me, no, and also no."

That was Bo on Tiny's phone, which he'd kind of expected (especially the hell no on the wet t-shirt contest), but did she have to twist the knife by telling him she'd be getting back to her giant Minoan bathtub full of iced lemon-water now?

Sigh.

[Your bartender is large, muscled, and modded, and we are off to see Brave. And possibly Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter. IDEK.]

nookiepowered

Go ahead. Mock the shirt. You didn't have any plans for your spleen anyway, right? Tiny didn't think so.

He also didn't think it was fair for Bo to take advantage of the plans he no longer had for the weekend to call in "I have a really big bathtub and I don't feel like getting out of it," but since she'd offered to reapply his sunscreen for him if he went over to her place after he closed up, he'd let her keep her spleen. This time.

__
[Tiny has the bar. I have pizza and the remains of a headache.]

nookiepowered

Tiny was not pouting because he was stuck on bar duty tonight.

That expression was purely due to the presence of the mariachi band that had taken over the DJ booth. Apparently they liked when they got Fandom gigs, and didn't plan to leave until at least Monday, lack of picnic and the fact that tomorrow would be Siete de Mayo aka the celebration of nothing, notwithstanding.

Fine, maybe his expression also had to do with the lack of cleavage at the bar tonight, and no, Tino stopping by in a shirt cut to his navel before Caritas opened did not count.

But he still wasn't pouting.

[OOC: I'm in and out all night (TWSS) and thus you get the big guy (TWSS) instead.]

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Entries tagged with tiny hates everything

The Devil's Nest, Saturday, April 12th

The Devil's Nest, Saturday, February 15th

The Devil's Nest, Saturday, December 14th

The Dig Site (And Elsewhere on the Island), Saturday

The Devil's Nest, Saturday, September 28th

The Devil's Nest, Saturday, September 7th

The Devil's Nest, Saturday, June 1

The Devil's Nest, Saturday, May 18

The Devil's Nest, Saturday, November 3

The Devil's Nest, Saturday, September 29

The Devil's Nest, Saturday, September 15

The Devil's Nest, Saturday, August 25

The Devil's Nest: Saturday, June 23

The Devil's Nest, Saturday, May 26th

The Devil's Nest, Saturday Evening, 5/5

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