Fandom Island and Town

There wasn't a radio broadcast from Handsome Jack this morning. He'd said his piece last night, and today was just a waiting game. Hyperion's men were patrolling the town throughout the morning (and shooting errant psychos who were starting to roam further and further away from their original area) but other than that, Jack just let everyone stew in their own trepidation at what was perhaps to come.

But in the afternoon, Hyperion's yellow-clad employees began to quite firmly direct and escort everyone out to the wooded unexplored area. They did not check anyone for weapons – Jack thought it would be funnier if the good people of Fandom thought they could really still do something somehow – but they were very insistent that everyone came along.

And once they'd come along, they were finally taken past an awfully convenient New-U Station inside the Vault dig site's perimeter. It was a clearing, surrounded from all sides by those all-too-familiar Hyperion engineers. In the middle of it, there were folding chairs set out for an audience. (That was you, people of Fandom!) In the direction that the chairs were facing, a ceremonial ribbon separated the rest of the area from what had to be the Vault. Probably. There was a podium-like thing sticking out from a hole, although the hole didn't look like something that had taken a whole week to dig.

(It hadn't. There were other bits in the ground around the clearing that looked like they'd been smoothed over, which was because the Vault had seemingly kept moving underground. Very inconvenient. But Hyperion had caught it eventually.)

And right in front of the ribbon stood a man who looked like he didn't have a care in the world, dressed casually kind of like a classy space pirate, or something. If you'd seen one of those posters from yesterday and wondered what the random things on his chin and his forehead were? They seemed to be metallic clips… that were keeping his face in place. Yeah. This was Handsome Jack and he was indeed compensating for something.

"Welcome, people of Fandom," his voice boomed from the loudspeakers, once more or less everyone had gotten seated. "Now, I know you're all just dying to see me use the Vault key and discover what the Vault has in store for us all, but you'll have to wait for just a moment. Because I would like to thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for teaching me an important lesson: just how incredibly pointless you small town bandits can be! I mean, it's amazing, really. So much energy spent on pointless pretending to be heroic in the face of a much awesomer power! Think of all the miserable county fairs you could have organized with all the energy you've stupidly spent on trying to stand up to me."

He... kind of went on for a while on that topic, berating them. Sorry, not sorry.

"–– and in conclusion, if you'll pardon my Truxican, that is why you suck. In my humble opinion. But enough with the speeches." He turned towards the ribbon separating him from the Vault. "I know what everyone's really here for!"

A Hyperion worker handed him a giant pair of scissors, and he cut the ribbon. And right there was your cue, Fandom. One last stand of utter chaos with a tiny bit of cunning tactics.

[ocd up! finale away!]