The Dig Site in the (Un)explored Wooded Area, Sunday Afternoon [BDE FINALE!]

[handsome-me.livejournal.com]

There wasn't a radio broadcast from Handsome Jack this morning. He'd said his piece last night, and today was just a waiting game. Hyperion's men were patrolling the town throughout the morning (and shooting errant psychos who were starting to roam further and further away from their original area) but other than that, Jack just let everyone stew in their own trepidation at what was perhaps to come.

But in the afternoon, Hyperion's yellow-clad employees began to quite firmly direct and escort everyone out to the wooded unexplored area. They did not check anyone for weapons – Jack thought it would be funnier if the good people of Fandom thought they could really still do something somehow – but they were very insistent that everyone came along.

And once they'd come along, they were finally taken past an awfully convenient New-U Station inside the Vault dig site's perimeter. It was a clearing, surrounded from all sides by those all-too-familiar Hyperion engineers. In the middle of it, there were folding chairs set out for an audience. (That was you, people of Fandom!) In the direction that the chairs were facing, a ceremonial ribbon separated the rest of the area from what had to be the Vault. Probably. There was a podium-like thing sticking out from a hole, although the hole didn't look like something that had taken a whole week to dig.

(It hadn't. There were other bits in the ground around the clearing that looked like they'd been smoothed over, which was because the Vault had seemingly kept moving underground. Very inconvenient. But Hyperion had caught it eventually.)

And right in front of the ribbon stood a man who looked like he didn't have a care in the world, dressed casually kind of like a classy space pirate, or something. If you'd seen one of those posters from yesterday and wondered what the random things on his chin and his forehead were? They seemed to be metallic clips… that were keeping his face in place. Yeah. This was Handsome Jack and he was indeed compensating for something.

"Welcome, people of Fandom," his voice boomed from the loudspeakers, once more or less everyone had gotten seated. "Now, I know you're all just dying to see me use the Vault key and discover what the Vault has in store for us all, but you'll have to wait for just a moment. Because I would like to thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for teaching me an important lesson: just how incredibly pointless you small town bandits can be! I mean, it's amazing, really. So much energy spent on pointless pretending to be heroic in the face of a much awesomer power! Think of all the miserable county fairs you could have organized with all the energy you've stupidly spent on trying to stand up to me."

He... kind of went on for a while on that topic, berating them. Sorry, not sorry.

"–– and in conclusion, if you'll pardon my Truxican, that is why you suck. In my humble opinion. But enough with the speeches." He turned towards the ribbon separating him from the Vault. "I know what everyone's really here for!"

A Hyperion worker handed him a giant pair of scissors, and he cut the ribbon. And right there was your cue, Fandom. One last stand of utter chaos with a tiny bit of cunning tactics.

[ocd up! finale away!]

Comments

Listen to the Speech [BDE 15/12]

[handsome-me.livejournal.com]

Fiddle with the guns no one asked you to give away, marvel at how obnoxious this guy really is, feel nervous at what's to come...

Re: Listen to the Speech [BDE 15/12]

[not_a_whiner]

Yeah. Kaidan's already impressive eyebrows were getting more impressively eyebrow-y by the second. Wow, if he hadn't liked this guy before...

He still had his Alliance-standard firearms on him. He wasn't gonna use anything these people put out.

Re: Listen to the Speech [BDE 15/12]

[fewer_explosions]

"I am incredibly unfond of this human," Liara muttered to herself.

Shockingly rude. She'd been around humans for too long.

Re: Listen to the Speech [BDE 15/12]

[arsenicmauls]

Gert was pretty sure the jerk guard who'd 'escorted' her and Old Lace here had bruised her shoulder with his deathgrip on her, and it hurt, but she wasn't worried about it right now. She was more preoccupied with watching Handsome Jack prattle on with her chin up and defiance blazing in her expression, not that it was going to make the slightest difference. It was just the way she was.

Re: Listen to the Speech [BDE 15/12]

[allhopeliesinme.livejournal.com]

Doom was here. He had no intention to help one side or the other. He merely wished to witness what happened and find if it would impact his plans in any way. Likely not. He expected Fandom to prove victorious.

Re: Listen to the Speech [BDE 15/12]

[amthenight.livejournal.com]

Batman watched this while hiding in a tree. You couldn't see him, but he was totally there, batarangs at the ready.

Re: Listen to the Speech [BDE 15/12]

[nookiepowered]

Bo had come not because she was forced to but because other people were. People she was supposed to be protecting. So yeah.

She listened, because he wasn't doing anything now but talking, and she rolled her eyes, and she wondered really hard if, should he start doing other, non-talking things, she could figure out how to do that Suck ALL The Chi (from multiple people without touching them) trick her Umbridge-brainwashed counterpart had been capable of.

Re: Listen to the Speech [BDE 15/12]

[craftyladyparts.livejournal.com]

Well, the plan was to cause a distraction, right? That's why Spider-Woman was holding a gun that was made of fifteen smaller guns. The thing was not likely to work. But if it caught enough eyes before it didn't work, who knew? Maybe it would do some good.

Re: Listen to the Speech [BDE 15/12]

[makemyownway.livejournal.com]

Cade fell asleep standing up. It was a skill he'd honed in years of listening to incredibly boring Jedi Masters.

Re: Listen to the Speech [BDE 15/12]

[doesdoctorstuff.livejournal.com]

"Oi! Bumface! Yeah, I'm talking to you! The one whose face looks like a bum!"

Navaan was heckling from the seats. She didn't have anything against Handsome Jack personally, but his speech was long and boring and she didn't have the attention span for it.

"Heeeeeeeeeeeeeere siffy siffy siffy! Woo woo!"

Re: Listen to the Speech [BDE 15/12]

[sith_happened]

Anakin was glowering like it was his job.

Which it used to be, so...he was really, really good at it.

What was with evil villains and their compulsion to monologue?

Re: Listen to the Speech [BDE 15/12]

[flickofthewrist]

Pompous speeches were getting to be a familiar thing for Flick. He didn't even know why he was out there but he was.

But, Flick did have to give him credit for making it sound good. He knew how to spin his words really well.

Re: Listen to the Speech [BDE 15/12]

[sharp_as_knives]

Hannibal was there. He didn't see much point in causing a scene before getting to the dig site, so he was there.

This man was more boring and pedantic than last year's International Psychiatric Association keynote speaker. And that was saying something.

He occupied the time by wondering what was under those clips, if Jack was entirely human, and what dishes he might be best used for. Something designed for boar, perhaps.

Re: Listen to the Speech [BDE 15/12]

[seveninchmotto]

Isabelle looked relaxed and calm, sitting down and listening to Handsome Jack speak. Apart from the occasional eyeroll, she was not bothering to react.

But her fingers were flexing against her thigh. She was ready for action, as soon as the time would come.

Re: Listen to the Speech [BDE 15/12]

[pursuedthestars]

Well, Jim guessed this was the place to be so why not show up? He took a seat and leaned back, slouching lazily.

When the speech started, he could only thing of one thing: that the guy was not handsome. Yes, he was focusing on that.

Jack Cuts the Ribbon - Everyone [BDE 15/12]

[pandora-baddies.livejournal.com]

It's your cue, Fandom! Create chaos by injuring Hyperion workers so your chosen strike team can attempt to bring down Handsome Jack!

After a moment, there are also a few roaming psychos in the fray. They just can't keep away from a good fight.

Re: Jack Cuts the Ribbon - Everyone [BDE 15/12]

[arsenicmauls]

"Okay, OL," Gert muttered as fighters around her sprung to action. "Party time."

Old Lace was only too happy to follow that order, and she and her big teeth went to do some damage.

Re: Jack Cuts the Ribbon - Everyone [BDE 15/12]

[nottrivial]

Alec wasn't bothering with seraph blades today, and instead was sticking to his strength: the bow, fired from a distance at enemies that looked like they were about to start attacking someone else.

Of course, it wasn't as effective on the Hyperion workers who came close to him, but that was where the 'stronger and tougher than the average human' thing came into play.

Re: Jack Cuts the Ribbon - Everyone [BDE 15/12]

[hatesmoststuff.livejournal.com]

April had a gun.

April sucked at aiming the gun and it was extremely likely that some Fandom people weren't going to appreciate that at all, but it was the thought that counted.

Well, the thought in this case wasn't that profound. She was doing it largely for the Vine.

Re: Jack Cuts the Ribbon - Everyone [BDE 15/12]

[allhopeliesinme.livejournal.com]

Doom stepped away to put some distance between himself and the battle. Yes, his forcefield would block virtually all stray attacks, but he was giving plenty of room for people to have their little fight.

Re: Jack Cuts the Ribbon - Everyone [BDE 15/12]

[amthenight.livejournal.com]

Batman leaped out of the tree, letting several batarangs fly. Some of them exploded when they hit the ground or Hyperion grunts. Not lethally, don't be silly. The second his feet hit the ground, he was launching into an attack of yet another worker. Yes, he was just going to keep fighting like this.

Jack Cuts the Ribbon - New-U Station [BDE 15/12]

[pandora-baddies.livejournal.com]

Conveniently right outside the main battle area, so you can just run right back in after you've been treated to the soothing words (http://pandora-baddies.livejournal.com/648.html) of the New-U Station (http://fandomhigh-ooc.livejournal.com/1018494.html#cutid2)! Say hi to anyone else who just died!

Jack Cuts the Ribbon - Finale Team [BDE 15/12]

[pandora-baddies.livejournal.com]

[Please wait for this to be filled in!]

Re: Jack Cuts the Ribbon - Finale Team [BDE 15/12]

[handsome-me.livejournal.com]

And Then… [BDE 15/12]

[handsome-me.livejournal.com]

After the last of the loaders fell, they revealed the Jack double standing by the Vault lock, holding the key above his head. And the key was a Mooby statuette that some of the more fast food minded people present may have seen on the counter in Mooby Land prior to last week. You just couldn't trust large corporations, that was the lesson here.

"And here is where I show you just how ineffective you were!" the real Jack announced over the loudspeakers. The double shoved the statuette in the slot. It fit perfectly. And for a second, nothing happened. But then the ground shook, and Jack's laughter echoed around the clearing from the loudspeakers. If you could keep on fighting through both of those things, good on you. You were better than most of Hyperion's workers. Especially after the ground rumbled some more, as if it was gathering power to do something.

And then the Mooby statuette exploded, and a column of bright purple light erupted from where it had just been. And then ––

A bunch of balloons! And confetti!

Yes, balloons and confetti shot out. That went on for a moment, multicolored confetti arcing into the air and floating down onto the spectators below, Hyperion and Fandom alike, while balloons in similarly various colors floated up into the sky, slowly blowing away. And then the balloons and the confetti stopped, and the purple light dimmed. And the Vault went plop as it spat something out. That something was not very big, and not very small, and it was made of metal. It went clink as it fell on the ground.

Nothing else followed.

After a stunned silence (on some people's part, anyway), Jack's voice asked, expectantly, even though even he sounded surprised, "Well…? is someone going to go see what it is?"

One of the closest Hyperion soldiers jogged over to the thing. Then he saluted thin air a little uncertainly, and announced, "Uh, it says it's a weather machine, sir." He hesitated. "'Exclusively for Fandom Island', sir."

"A weather machine?" Jack repeated. "For Fandom?"

There was a heavy pause.

"Okay, that is it. I should have known. This island was not worth the trouble, and won't be worth the trouble of wiping out, either. Although I should. I really, really should. But I am done with you, Fandom." Too bad eye rolls weren't audible. "Hyperion, move out. As of this moment, you're all stationed in Opportunity instead. Anyone who isn't there by tonight is going to get remotely terminated. And Fandom? Don't be as pathetic as to consider this a 'win' for yourselves. It's not, it's just me losing interest in your pathetic little hum drum lives. Goodbye, losers."

With these charming orders, Hyperion workers began ignoring everyone from Fandom in favor of starting to pack up all of Hyperion's tech and things. They left the new Fandom weather machine alone, and all shots that were fired were directed at the few remaining psychos. Business as usual. They had to be in Opportunity later today, so they had no interest in fighting with the people of this island, now that they weren't getting paid to do so.

Fandomites were free to ask what the hell had just happened, now.

[ooc: And now, open for reactions!]

Re: And Then… [BDE 15/12]

[gunslingerpose]

"Wait... How many times did I just get bumped off over a... a..." Nikolai turned a look toward the vault. "Weather machine? What the hell's a weather machine?"

If that was the thing that had been responsible for the sharks, Nick's vote was to throw it in the ocean or something.

OOC [BDE 15/12]

[handsome-me.livejournal.com]

And here we have the big finale!

NPC request post is here (http://fandomhigh-ooc.livejournal.com/1021692.html)!