Fandom Island and Town

Once the dates were over, GOB made his way back toward the bar and started bossing Tino around, just like old times. "Okay, let's show everyone how a real pro tends bar. Tino! Get me another scotch!" Yep. A real pro made Tino do all the work. These were tricks you never forgot, even years after leaving the bar business.

[OOC: For your post-3MD conversations and/or hookups or whatever! Or for people who were just waiting until after the dates to get a damn beer!]

A sign was posted at the front door:
G.O.B. Bluth Presents:
The Tenth Anniversary Edition of
Three Minute Dates at Caritas
hosted by A Matchmaker Named G.O.B.

Just before 6:00, the lights went dark and a sole zombie walked out onto the stage and sat down at a piano. The zombie then started playing The Final Countdown, followed by the other zombies, all with violins to join in. And then GOB walked out onto the stage, holding and petting a lovebird. He then released the bird, which flew up toward the ceiling before somehow getting stuck in an air duct.

As GOB went into his spiel about how 3MD was a Fandom institution that he started and how he had brought so much love to Fandom with it and that the tenth annual (he still hadn't figured that part out) edition demanded the respect that a piano and not doing magic ("Unless any of the legal ladies out there want to see me make another lovebird appear," and yes, he was talking about his penis).

Meanwhile, the lovebird was still stuck in the air duct. As air rushed past the bird and into the lounge, some strange pheromones released by the bird were thrown back at the stage, where it reacted with the already strange combination of zombie smell and cologne used to hide the zombie smell on such a classy occasion, somehow generating a powerful love potion that would be making its way into the lounge, affecting people at random for three minutes at a time. Bizarrely, that was exactly how long each of the dates tonight would be.

Sometimes Fandom worked in mysterious ways. Mysteriously sexy ways.

"I call your names, you meet up with each other, talk for three minutes, and then you'll hear the sound of a zombie smashing his hands against a bunch of piano keys. Go ahead and do it," GOB said. The zombie started smashing the keys randomly. One of the other zombies joined in because a band was all about teamwork. "And that's how we start!"

[The Bar Before the Dates | Round 1 | Round 2 | Round 3 | Round 4 | Round 5 | OOC]
[Regular post-dates Caritas post]

[OOC: Lots of OCD coming IS UP. RANDOMLY ASSIGNED LOVE POTION IS MARKED IN THREAD TITLES WITH ONE OF THESE "*" AFTER THE AFFECTED PERSON'S NAME! For example: "Nick* / 3MD Participants" means that I will spend the next three minutes loving everyone who signed up. But not in a dirty way because that would be exhausting and I have a sister among the participants and eww.

Remember that you can also choose to be affected by love potion in any round(s) at your discretion. Also, the love potion can only affect people in the lounge during the dates. People at the bar and on the stage will not be affected. People who are affected will just be incredibly drawn to their date, flirt harder, maybe go for some physical contact more quickly, but they shouldn't necessarily go straight for making out. Unless you choose to have them go for it. The upper limit is player's choice.

As I'm going along, if I made an obvious mistake, like skipping a character completely for a round or posting a pairing twice, feel free to grab me on AIM or in the OOC thread and I'll make a quick fix. And remember, attacks on your dates will get you teleported elsewhere on the island.

Also remember that most playing should happen on Saturday, but if you need to finish a thread or two on Sunday, that's fine.

GO FORTH AND PLAY!]

There was a sign posted at the front door:

G.O.B. Bluth Presents:
The Ninth Annual
Three Minute Dates @ Caritas
hosted by A Matchmaker Named G.O.B.

GOB had somehow been able to count to nine despite not being around for the previous six Three Minute Dates, but he still didn't know what 'annual' really meant. But that wasn't important. The important thing was that at 6:00 precisely, the ligts went out and the Zombie Band started playing a familiar intro.

A burst of smoke hit the stage and the matchmaker named GOB stepped through it to make his grand entrance. A flick of each wrist and he was holding a deck of cards in each hand: all hearts. Except for a single four of clubs. GOB started moonwalking backwards, except he wasn't very good at it so it was more like walking backward with a limp. He clapped his hands together and from the cards fell burst forth a dead live dove, which GOB picked up and threw off the stage toward the bar swooped over the audience and hit Tino after bouncing off the bar attacked Tino.

"WELCOME TO CARITAS!" GOB yelled to the crowd as the music continued. "WELCOME! TO THREE MINUTE DATES!" He turned around and pointed to the back of the stage where a too-large banner dropped, showing the top half of 'THREE MINUTE DATES' while the rest was still rolled up on the stage floor. "I am GOB, your Once and Future Matchmaker. Here are the rules: I call your name and the name of somebody else. You two get together and make goo goo eyes at each other for a few minutes, and then I make a fireball appear to let you know it's time for the next round."

Tino had checked the fireball launcher GOB kept in his sleeve. Twice. It was as safe as it could possibly be.

"After the roaring sound of magical fire, I'll call out some more names and we do it again until we've done it five times. And if you don't like any of your dates, let me know and we can do it five more times in my hotel room." GOB could be as subtle as a bar on fire, something which Tino really wanted to avoid. Now let's get on with this stuff." As GOB started to reach for his notecards with the round one pairings, a quick burst of flame shot across his chest. "Huh. Shot off a little early. But I won't, ladies." Very subtle.

[Post 1 | The Bar Before the Dates | Round 1 | Round 2 | Round 3 | OOC]
[Post 2 | Round 4 | Round 5 | OOC]
[Regular Caritas post]

[OOC: Three minutes = ten comments total, five per person. You don't need to do your threads chronologically, but try not to Joss yourself.

Epic OCD is beginning. For the love of god, please wait until I'm done. GO FORTH AND PLAY! If I made a blatant mistake, like skipping a character completely for a round or posting a pairing twice or accidentally making incest happen WHICH TOTALLY DID NOT NEARLY HAPPEN, AHEM, feel free to grab me on AIM or in the OOC thread and I'll make a quick fix. Remember, attacks on your dates will get you teleported elsewhere on the island.

Also remember that most playing should happen on Saturday, but if you need to finish a thread or two on Sunday, that's fine.

And, um, yes, this is Post 1 of 2. RECORD SETTING SIGN UPS CAUSED THIS!]

After much thought, contemplation, and soul searching, GOB decided to finally cut back on his excesses, stop wasting funds, and be a better bar owner. He vowed to stop stealing drinks, cut back on making Tino cook for him for free, and start buying cow brains instead of human brains for the zombies because they were pretty much the same things to the zombies anyway. He would stop random, expensive theme nights. He would do whatever he could to make sure Caritas was the best run bar anyone had ever seen.

After a brief panic that he would fail at all of that, he put the bar for sale on eBay and cracked open a brand new bottle of the finest Scotch. And loaded several cases of that same Scotch onto his yacht. Just because you were going to flee like a bandit in the night didn't mean that you couldn't load stuff up during the afternoon right before work.

[OOC: I am around but may be slightly distracted by new Dexter later on. I'm off and so is GOB.]

GOB took a seat behind the bar and poured himself a glass.

It wasn't his regular night, he wasn't doing anything but having a drink. That he would probably pay for.

[OOC: Mod Tino, please!]

With a flash of light, GOB fell out of some trees and landed on the ground in a heap. This is because somebody asked some tough questions and he responded with a creative answer. Namely, he ran up and punched somebody. He celebrated his escape by dancing excitedly.

He then ran off somewhere to hide. He'd sneak back into Caritas late tonight and stay there so nobody could break his kneecaps.

[OOC: This post is inspired by SNL's Digital Short. For brief interaction as GOB is dancing or fleeing, if you'd like. I blame the_merriest.]

GOB opened the bar after spending the afternoon watching Space Battles movies. For research.

He was now trying to move shot glasses with his mind.

[OOC: Coincidentally, I've spent all day watching the PT and Clone Wars and then I tried to type this post with my mind.]

Dalton was on his way out of town, Tino was wearing bandages on his face, and GOB was behind the bar, smiling. Why was he smiling?

"Come on, Tino. Hit me again," he ordered. Tino - who was on thin ice after recent events - decided to comply. He threw a punch at GOB but just before it connected he disappeared in a brief flash. Five minutes later, Tino returned, dripping wet. "I love this spell," GOB declared. "I missed it so much."

[OOC: The Sanctuary Spell has returned! Attempt any violence inside Caritas and you will be teleported someoneWHERE (THANK YOU XANDER) on the island once more!]

When GOB opened up the bar tonight, the he was met by a man who looked, for lack of a better term, Swayze-ish. "Are you the new bouncer? Dalton?" GOB asked him.

The Swayze-ish man said, simply, "Yep. This is the place, then?"

GOB held out a hand to shake. "Yeah. GOB Bluth. I own this place." He gave Dalton an inquisitive look. "I thought you'd be bigger."

Dalton shook the hand and said, "I get that a lot."

GOB led Dalton into the club and showed him around.

[OOC: That's right, security is Dalton from Road House. He'll be at Caritas all week!

Caritas employees already know this, but if they're good with bar fights happening during their shifts, they just need to note it. That said, Dalton will break it up before it goes too far. Because he is that awesome. It's canon.

ETA: ROAD HOUSE ON CMT ON FRIDAY AT 8:00 ET and SATURDAY AT 5:00 ET. WOO!

ETA2: NEXT FRIDAY AND SATURDAY. I LOSE AT KNOWING WHAT WEEK IT IS.]

When GOB got to the bar tonight, he found a letter.

Mr. George Oscar Bluth II,

This is a notice that the continued magical protection of the nightclub Caritas from the forces of violence have hereby been stripped due to your continued negligence in paying our monthly fee. Henceforth, any act of violence committed inside Caritas will no longer be magically blocked. The resultant damage from any violence inside your nightclub is therefore the responsibility of you and you alone.

May the gods have mercy upon your club since we no longer will.

"Sincerely, a bunch of wizard jerks," GOB read, replacing the names of the wizards with an insult largely because he couldn't pronounce their names.

"Ooh, I'm so scared. It's not like anything ever happens here. I mean, who's going to throw a punch anyway? Me? You, Tino? I bet you punch like a... like a ... like a chicken! NO! Like a girl. NO! A girl chicken. You punch like a girl chicken. I mean, COME ON! Nobody's even tried anything in months. Worst case, I just tell everyone that nothing's changed. How hard can that be? Come on."

[OOC: Fight. Fight. Fight. Fight. If you're here to fight, there is a fight thread below. If you're here for a drink and not the fight, maybe use the bar thread early on. And then flee.

ETA: I forgot to mention, Tino is fair game in the fight. He's out from behind the bar, so go wild on him.]

GOB was here.

So was booze.

Some nights, brevity ruled.

[OOC: This is one of those nights. I'm around but may be slow. Possibly napping, but I think I got that out of my system, hence the latish post.]

"Cough cough cough," GOB coughed. He was dealing with an end of the summer cold. "Hey, Tino," he said. "Cough cough can I cough get a cough cough losenge cough?"

Tino was standing far away from GOB. And, for the sake of safety, wearing a surgical mask.

Tino passed a cough drop down the bar.

"Cough cough thanks," GOB said. "Hack hack cough wheeze."

[OOC: I am kind of sick. Probably mod Tino for speed.]

GOB was having a quiet night tonight. Or at least he was until the zombies decided to play nothing but Cher. At that point, GOB was having a drunk night.

Meanwhile, Tino put up a sign:
Help Wanted
Someone needed to work the bar on Thursdays.
No experience or people skills needed.
Inquire at the bar.

[OOC: INFO FOR THE NEWBIES:

Caritas is a karaoke bar. The zombie band are undead musicians who seemingly know every song you might ever consider singing. Alcohol is served to minors. Tino is the NPC bartender who you can always mod if you don't want to deal with the person running the bar that night. And any attempted violence will teleport the person attempting the violence elsewhere on the island.

That's Caritas in a nutshell.]

Well, GOB was done teaching again. It felt good.

What also felt good was knowing that before long there would be new students at the school who could blow their allowances or whatever on booze.

As such he was trying to think of new theme nights to bring in business this fall. Tino nixed "Dress Like a Hooker Night" and "All Girls Go Home With GOB Night." Both of those, Tino felt, would be better served as regular Ladies Nights.

Out of Tino's suggestions, GOB approved "Catholic Schoolgirl Night," but scratched out "All Girls Go Home With Tino Night."

Tino then wrote down "All Girls Go Home With Tino Night," only in Spanish and told GOB that he had reconsidered and that it said "All Girls Go Home With GOB Night."

GOB was an idiot and believed this. That would, he felt, be the best night ever.

[OOC: I have no clue. I'm mostly around.]

GOB was not behind the bar. After receiving a voicemail the other night, he decided it would be best to hide in the backroom for his shift tonight. Even though he couldn't be hurt or anything in here, he just felt it would be safer for some reason.

He grabbed a bottle of scotch before he hid, though, both for something to drink and for a weapon.

[OOC: I will either be out or asleep most of the evening more than likely, so please mod Tino. GOB is hiding, so if you need to talk to him, um, try his voicemail?]

GOB took some chocolate, some Coke, and some soda water, mixed it all together, and dropped two Maraschino cherries in the concoction and called it The GOBtini.

This was his first attempt at making a brand new non-alcoholic drink. In order to encourage people to try the GOBtini, he had Tino put up a sign:
This week all non-alcoholic drinks
2% OFF!

He didn't want people to be too encouraged to buy non-alcoholic drinks, after all.

As a test, GOB tasted a GOBtini. It tasted nasty. "Just like any good non-alcoholic drink should," he said proudly to himself. He stared at it triumphantly for a moment before turning to Tino and demanding, "Get me some whiskey, this needs booze."

Later on, Tino added the phrase "GOBtinis free!" underneath the existing text.

[OOC: I'm around but kind of have a headache, so I may be a little slow. Mod Tino for speed.]

The zombies were nowhere to be seen. Neither was Tino.

GOB, on the other hand, was behind the bar in a white coat spotted with dried red areas. He was holding a pair of scissors. Surely there was a good reason for this.

[OOC: Tino and the zombies will be around eventually. I'm here now, though!]