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The Devil's Nest, Saturday, June 1

Bo had seen some creepy-ass things in her time. Hell, Bo had been some creepy-ass things in her time. She'd never, however -- and she was counting mechanical spiders and rabid alien-infested teal deer here -- seen anything creepier than Tiny hunched over his smartphone, staring at the BBC Breaking feed, his shoulders shaking and eyes suspiciously misty.

"What? What's the matter?"

But all she could get out of him was "NooooooooooooOOOOooooOOOOooooOOOOoooooooooo..." and then something about owing Anakin money.

By the time Bo had set up the bar and fruitlessly asked the DJ if he knew what was wrong with Tiny, she was considering flashing the poor guy just to cheer him up.

Considering.

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Where your bartender was...perplexed.

Good thing that Kenzi had gotten her drink on sufficiently this week. Because Bo was still all concrete and unmoving on the give-Kenzi-booze front.

"Would you ever become a stripper?"

"And hello to you too. No. To the vodka you're about to ask for. Why, to the stripper."

"I object on the grounds that your boss's rules are ridiculous." Kenzi made a face to go along with the objection. "And a bunch of us went to a strip club this week. The Silver Glitter... something." Details were fuzzy. "Some of those chicks and guys make biiig money. Some people were all eep-objectification though."

"As long as they're in it because they want to be, what somebody does with their own body is their own business." Which... wasn't quite what she'd been asked, no, but objectification was in the eye of the somethingorother.

"I've done worse things when I needed money." If by worse you meant stealing money you needed from someone you'd made sure would never need money again. "But I can think of better things to do for fun."

"See, that's kind of what I thought. Sorta." Since Kenzi tended to objectify any hot guy, clothed or not, and then make it personal so he'd remember her. Even if she did have a boyfriend. "What kind of better things for fun?" Heee.

"You're too young to know."

Not really, but where was the fun in not teasing her?

"I'm 18! I'm legal everywhere for everything!" Almost. "Tell meeeeeeeeee!"

Bo couldn't not laugh. "Nothing about you is legal anywhere. You're allergic to legal."

"Okay, so, that's... not inaccurate. Is this like the big hole that was in your wall at the back of your place? 'Cause I can use my imagination for that one."

"That doesn't count -- it was a Weekend!"

Which was totally different from a weekend. If Bo had to draw the capital W on a napkin to make that clear, she would.

Kenzi snickered. "Soooo, on a not-Weekend-- assuming I know what you mean--"

She totally did.

"That would be different how?"

"On a not-Weekend we would bust a hole in the bed, duh."

More giggling, then Kenzi propped her chin on her hands. "Hey. Have you ever lived with somebody since you left home? Like a room-mate thing?"

Well, there was a question. "Um. Kind of?" Gerry was...not the happiest memory, in the end, but parts of it were good. "If you can call a lonely guy with premature senility who thought I was his daughter that."

"Umm, maybe?" Kenzi blinked at this unexpected answer. "I mean. Not what I'd generally think of... you were what, crashing at his place?"

"More or less." Bo nodded. "I used my whammy on him because I needed a place to stay for the night, and instead of it wearing off like it usually does, he just seemed to fill in the blanks for himself."

"Yeeeek." That was something she'd never contemplated. "So... what happened to him?"

Bo winced. "What usually happened to people who hang out with me, before I got here. It just wasn't me who did it, that time."

"Hey, that's... something?" Um. Kenzi winced. "Sorry, dude."

Okay, mild segue, awkward, but: "So. You like living alone?"

"Like?" Bo shrugged. "I dunno. I'm used to it. Why?" Always the question one should ask first with Kenzi, but she'd let herself get distracted. Plus now Tiny was off on some kind of rant about Little Miss Muffet not being the right women... or write women? Like one made any more sense than the other.

"I kinda know someone who's gonna need a place to stay," Kenzi said, sliding the bowl of bar pretzels over to herself. "Wanted to sound you out about it. See what you think. I mean, I know you weren't paying rent, so I figured that wasn't an issue."

"I kinda am now, sort of. If you call 'Uh yeah, I'll pay the utilities and make sure nobody else breaks in if you let me live there' rent. It pays to have pictures of the Sheriff in a Santa suit with a half-naked elf on his lap."

Bo? Not the point.

"You kinda know someone? Kinda who?"

"A recent grad. Girl. Who has job..s, jobs, so she could help with the utilities, and the Sheriff made out with a half-naked elf?" Not the point. Focus! ... "How did you get pix of that?"

"I was the half-naked elf." Bo would just not contemplate how many people had taken pictures.

Wait.

"You mean you?"

Edited 2013-06-02 20:57 (UTC)

"Ta da!" Kenzi tried to look room-mate-y. Whatever that meant. "It really won't be all that different from now!" You know, when she showed up unexpectedly to watch you sleep and then wake you up in terrifying ways, Bo.

"Except I what, hang a vibrating duck on the door if I've got company, and you spend the night in the park?" Bo's apartment-that-wasn't had effectively one room and a screen around the bathtub. "That's not gonna work."

"Ummm. It used to be a hardware store, right?" Kenzi cocked her head. "How'd you get the tub? Couldn't we put up a wall or something? Maybe?"

"Nah. Too small." Bo shook her head, picturing the space. "We just need a bigger place. Maybe something closer to work? Cutting across the park is a pain in the ass even when I'm not getting attacked by Bob the gremlin's little buddies. Tub's coming with us, though. I bought that in Atlantis; can't just pick up another one at Bed, Bath, and Beyoncé."

Kenzi made a sound that dolphins would interpret as PARTY AT MY PLACE! and leaned over the bar to hug Bo. "Yes! Yes! I thought you were saying no but really you are saying yes this will be awesome and I swear I'll be a good roomie and I'll always clean up the tub after boat wars and I won't even snark on the slam pieces of the week to you!"

"What did you think I was gonna say? No, go back to Canada and leave me here all by myself with nobody to deny booze to or blame when my office chair suddenly has a rabbit attachment?"

From the end of the bar, Tiny gave her a look that dolphins would interpret as OMFG HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY SOUND THAT HAPPY WHEN THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT IS ENDING WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU HAVE YOU NO SOUUUUUUL?

Bo just hugged back, though she managed to roll her eyes at the same time. "Though, slam piece of the week? Nice, Kenz."

"Eeeeeee!" Kenzi's exclamation intersected with Tiny's look and there were some very confused dolphins out there.

"I can get you another attachment if you want." Kenzi grinned and bounced back a little. "Okay, fine, slam piece of the month? Year?... now I want to make a calendar of all your conquests. That would sell, dude."

"Not that attachment. If you find one with hover-boosters or something, talk to me." Why did Bo have the feeling her chair was going to randomly float to the ceiling some week, because 'talk to me' never in fact happened, when it came to these things?

"As for 'slam piece,' you get to be the one to ask Derek and Mitchell to pose for that calendar. See how well that goes over."

Jake... would probably put on the Santa suit again, for either a cut of the profits or free beer. Ell oh ell at the idea of actually blackmailing the sheriff with anything that involved pictures of him with a half-naked chick.

"Or I could just stalk them and take photos," Kenzi mused. And then laughed harder because dude, she had *some* self-preservational instincts. In theory, anyway. "Sooo, they're more serious than that? You gotten busy with Derek lately?"

Okay, now someday the chair was going to have weapons on it. Bo was Security! She needed those!

"...sooooo, we should start looking for places? I guess? 'Cause of them kicking me out of the dorms at the end of August and all." Kenzi pouted. "I could so be a dorm monitor and good influence on incoming kids, but noooooo."

"They're friends. Friends are for friending, not just...slamming." Okay, okay, so mostly her interactions with Derek consisted of not-entirely-consensual-for-any-parties sex and awkward mornings after, but still.

"The fact that I have to point that out might be why they turned down your den mother application."

"Bah. At least I got to chaperone the new kids into a strip club this week. I should do that when the next batch of new kids shows up in July, too," Kenzi mused. "Everyone needs friends! ... And we'll need a place with doors, yeah, so Toby and I can get friendly. He's shy that way." She grinned and bounced on her toes. "This is going to be so fun."

"Doors. Definitely doors," Bo agreed. "Also, walls." For knocking down.

NO.

For having rooms. And also holding up doors.

Where your DJ knew nothing. Not that that was anything new.

Where there might or might not be an owner who might or might not be just as perplexed as your bartender.

I just want the next one to be a) a chick, who b) makes out with River Song. Is this too much to ask?

Edited 2013-06-02 00:26 (UTC)

NOT A SPOILER!

JUST A WEIRD DREAM I HAD!

Oddly enough, I dreamt today that there was a new Doctor who spoke with Pertwee's flair and precision, dressed in a black suit, had a pudgy face with SCARS on his cheek, and was balding. Also, he was possessed by the monster of the week that was actually the monster behind the whole season. This Doctor and the Master (who was young and hispanic and a bit subservient to the Doctor but very much still himself and very Delgado-esque) were AU versions in this new season; the monsters had won something and taken over somewhere in the time stream and the Doctor and the Master were in their control. They were sent back and forth in time to do things or set things up, and each time they did, they lost a little of their evil and the mind control weakened each trip and finally, in this ep, they were at the point where they were being sent to kill their alternate selfs (the originals timeline Doctor and Master) and they were only pretending to be evil and were really fighting to change time BACK.

Weirdest part was that the ep I was watching in my dream was GOOD.

You had me at hispanic Master. (Which...Delgado also was. Your point?)

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The Devil's Nest, Saturday, June 1

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