fandomtownies | A street corner in Fandom Town, Sunday afternoon

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A street corner in Fandom Town, Sunday afternoon

". . . And in your darkest hour, Celestia will come down from the heavens to lift you up into eternal peace, tolerance, and love," Pinkie explained to ~~an NPC~~ one of the passers-by. "You only believe you're dying of a horrible wasting disease. On Equestria, there is no disease. There is no pain or disappointment, only beauty."

Pinkie paced on her street corner, an apple box behind her on the corner for the times she felt the need to stand and shout her message of peace into the sky. "Join the chosen! Come to the park tonight and show your love for the Princess Celestia and everything she stands for, and you, too, can be lifted up into the fabulous pony utopia!"

[ooc: open, though is likely to go SP for much of the afternoon.]

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Dolf had been dead. Deaaad. Dead in the park! And then dead elsewhere, as Things had dragged him away from his monkey!

Or maybe Tyrion was just a worse assassin than he thought and Dolf had dragged himself over here to recover some wind, but po-tah-toe, po-tay-toe. The important thing was, as soon as Pinkie finished her speech, he came to life! Or at least opened his eyes! And took a breath!

"LANNISTER!"

"No, no," Pinkie corrected. "Celestia." Hadn't he been listening? Ah well, the foolish ones always made the best converts, anyway.

"Where is he?" Dolf demanded, sitting up. All the blood on him - what little there had been - had miraculously disappeared. "You brought me back for this, didn't you?"

No, Dolf, Tyrion had just been a bad shot.

Pinkie decided to roll with it. "No, child, I brought you back to hear the message of love and tolerance my race brings to you."

"But he killed my monkey!" Dolf argued loudly. "I will tolerate him! I will tolerate the shit out of him!"

With a crowbar!

"And love!" Pinkie encouraged. "That's the spirit, my child! Though I'm very sorry to hear about your poor monkey."

"I will shower him with love," Dolf promised. If love was iron, anyway. He'd totally shower Tyrion with bullets. "I promise you... Pink One."

"I'm so happy to hear that!" Honestly, as long as he was following the Word of Celestia, she was okay with weird interpretations of that word. "And will you join us in the park tonight to ascend to Equestria?"

"Of course!" Dolf breathed. "As soon as I settle this thing with Lannister in love and tolerance! You brought me back. I will ascend with you, oh Pink One."

He just needed to kill Tyrion first.

"Hurray!" said Pinkie benevolently. "And don't forget to tell your friends!"

"Oh, I will," Dolf said, grimly. "I will."

How had she known? HOW HAD SHE KNOWN THIS WAS EXACTLY WHAT GABRIELLE, IN HER LONELY, ACHING, MISERABLE QUEST FOR FULFILLMENT IN LIFE, NEEDED?

Well, it was probably obvious from the way Gabrielle stood there, hands clasped and eyes sparkling -- sparkling!!! -- as she listened with rapt attention.

That was, until the tears -- each one perfect, each one spilling down her face singularly (the better to appreciate their perfect crystalline pathos, of course) -- of joy started to fall, and she choked out, "Yes, yes, I'll be there! Take me to the pony utopia with you!"

Ohhhhh, this one was perfect. "Do not fear, my child," Pinkie told her. "I can see in your heart that you are pure and true, loving and tolerant and as peaceful as any in this heathen world. You will ascend with us into the glory of Equestria once the night's darkness has fallen."

Gabrielle pressed trembling hands to her mouth as another tear fell like a priceless diamond from her eye. "Do we really have to wait that long? I can't bear this place any longer -- I've yearned for the glory of Equestria all my life!"

Never mind she'd only heard of it just now. It was the single puzzle piece that perfectly fit the puzzle-piece-shaped void in her SOUL. SHE KNEW IT.

"The waiting makes the sweetness of the arrival only more sweet. You can spend the hours spreading the Word of Celestia!"

Gabrielle's face lit up like a supernova with excitement. "Spread the Word of Celestia," she echoed dreamily. "Everyone should hear about this amazing news!"

The sad thing was she'd be this much of a sucker on a normal weekend.

"Hurray! Go forth, true believer! The more people who come to ascend with Princess Celestia, the better the position you'll gain in the new Equestrian order!"

Wait, new Equestrian order? When did that come in? It was like the writers were making this up as they went along.

Writers making it up as they went along? Nooooo. Who would do that?

"Then I shall gather us an army!" Gabrielle declaimed, flinging both arms out and raising her face to the heavens in a DRAMATIC POSE. "And the new Equestrian order will sweep forth and conquer the world with love and peace and beauty!"

"Yes!" Pinkie cried in ecstatic joy. "And you shall be the greatest of my acolytes!"

When you spent your nights working the street corners of Fandom, they weren't exactly somewhere you'd want to be seen during the day, since it would look boring if you were in the same place all the time. But today was different for Jason. He'd found himself listening to Pinkie's speech, and was trying not to look as affected at he felt deep down. He was totally getting the Younger Actor Daytime Emmy this year, for sure.

"You're lying," he said oh so bitterly. "No place can be that perfect."

"Oh, you poor, sweet, disillusioned soul," Pinkie said compassionately. "You know deep down that isn't true, that there is that one, heavenly place just waiting for you on the other side of all this pain and suffering. You just have to embrace that little spark in your heart, in your soul."

Jason looked like he wanted to believe her, before shying and shaking his head. "No, I can't believe it. I've been let down so many times before. I don't think I have any hope left in anything."

Pinkie dropped down in front of him, her eyes going unnaturally wide and earnest. "I can see into your heart, child. We both know that isn't true. That grain of hope still glows."

Jason finally nodded as a single tear slipped down his cheek. "You're right. There is still hope. Deep down, I know this life isn't for me. What do I need to do to show my love?"

"Go forth, my child. Spread the word and the hope. Let the beaten down masses know that we will all find happiness on Equestria!"

Jason beamed, his heart feeling lighter than it had in ages. "I will, I promise. All shall know of the happiness they can find!" he said. "I'll be back, I promise!"

"Just make sure to join us tonight for the ascension!"

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A street corner in Fandom Town, Sunday afternoon

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