Stark Industries, Monday

[endsthegame]

Taking a day off to see the unicorns this weekend had been a nice break, though Ender had never really moved past his own worries. There was simply too much to think about - too much to anticipate on, too much to plan for. Too many deaths to be remembered, for Kaeleer brought back memories of Agio, and left him mulling how much more blood would be spilled because of his failures.

He couldn't afford to fail Ben now.

Not for the first time since the summer, he found himself irrationally angry that the IF had kept him here, rather than sending him off much earlier. Sure, it would have meant the colony ship itself would have traveled much slower, but it would mean Ender would finally get the retirement he craved.

Nevermind.

He had to slog through a whole crop of blueberries in the morning just to get to his counter, but he barely paid attention to them. Missing even a day meant missing a lot of correspondence, and he still hadn't caught up yet.

[[ open! ]]

Comments

[endsthegame]

"I appreciate your sacrifice," Ender said dryly.

[momslilassassin]

Ben leaned in to rest his forehead against Ender's. "And I know about the stuff that wakes you up in the middle of the night," he murmured more sincerely, "and I'm still not going anywhere. Might make us both deluded."

[endsthegame]

"True," Ender murmured. "A sensible person would have run away by now."

[momslilassassin]

"I'm a lot of things," Ben said, nudging his nose into Ender's and closing his eyes, "but I don't think sensible is always one of them."

[endsthegame]

Ender kissed him again, because the opportunity was too good to pass up.

"I'm not sure 'sensible' is ever one of them," he murmured.

[momslilassassin]

"I can be sensible," Ben murmured back, resting his hand on Ender's knee.

He just couldn't think of an example at the moment.

[endsthegame]

Ender smiled, dropping his hand on top of Ben's. "Liar."

[momslilassassin]

"Maybe not around you," Ben admitted, smiling back.

[endsthegame]

"That's all right," Ender said. "I'm good at being sensible for the both of us, I think. And if I'm not, please don't disillusion me. It's only lunchtime."

[momslilassassin]

"I'm here to fully support your delusions," Ben promised, smiling.

[endsthegame]

"I think that makes us an actual couple," Ender said. "Should I be afraid?"

[momslilassassin]

"Probably," Ben said, "but I'm not."

[endsthegame]

Ender looked amused, and then he just looked; finally he leaned over and kissed Ben on his forehead.

"Stay with me," he said, very, very softly.

That was scary.

[momslilassassin]

Ben closed his eyes and then reached out to wrap Ender in a very tight hug. He'd spent four years in almost daily contact with him: he understood the enormity of what Ender had just asked.

[endsthegame]

"Sorry," Ender mumbled. "That was hopelessly sentimental."

And only just catching up with him; what was it about Ben that brought out the impulsiveness in him?

[momslilassassin]

"Don't apologize for it," Ben said, stroking his back.

[endsthegame]

"I'm not sure if it's you I'm apologizing to," Ender admitted.

[momslilassassin]

"I know," Ben said with a tiny smile, kissing his cheek. "It's kind of a big deal."

[endsthegame]

"Oh, is it, now?"

Some military snark to alleviate the... rest of that.

[momslilassassin]

Ben wasn't going to lose the warm feeling that Ender's admission had given him, but he understood the need for an out.

"You apologizing? Oh, absolutely," he teased. "I'll get a parade going."

And then he leaned in to kiss Ender rather fiercely for the other part.

[endsthegame]

Ender slid both of his hands into Ben's hair, kissing him back just as fiercely.

He was irrationally annoyed with himself for caving.

[momslilassassin]

Ben moaned softly and moved closer, his hand skirting up along Ender's leg.

[endsthegame]

Ender gripped on a little tighter, nipping at Ben's bottom lip and showing no particular signs of stopping him this time.

[momslilassassin]

And hadn't they just discussed how Ben wasn't the sensible one?

His fingers slid up under Ender's shirt and across his stomach.

[endsthegame]

Ender made a soft little noise that was in no way discouraging, trailing his fingers along Ben's side.