fandomtownies | "Salutations"

Current Mood: wholesome

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"Salutations" - Monday Night

Tiny was wearing a shirt with sleeves, Eric was not threatening to eat the DJ, the DJ was playing nothing but Pat Boone...just another wholesome night of not-too-exciting fun here at Salutations.

Eric had never been so bored in his life.

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Where Tiny is only serving wholesome, family-friendly drinks.

While some might have gone to Caritas, Stephen Colbert had decided to check out 'Salutations'. Which seemed like the name for a bar with a certain... discerning clientele.

"I'll have your most American beer," he informed Tiny, slapping his hand on the bar top. "Not Sam Adams. I don't need any philosophy when I drink."

A new face. Oh goody. Eric pasted on a smile and went to make friends.

"Good evening," he said, ambling up as Tiny gave Stephen a Natty Light.

"Stephen Colbert," he said like Eric already knew that. And was going to ask for an autograph. "Who should I make this out to?"

"Oh, we don't take personal checks here," Eric said.

Oh, his sides. How they split!

Stephen chuckled, shaking his head. "Save the wit for those of us with the natural, God given talent for it. God. Given. Talent. Learned all on our own."

Oh he was charming.

Eric reminded himself that eating people was frowned upon and that getting his business shut down just to be a snarky asshole would be bad.

"Hmmm. Must have missed seeing it on the first pass. My apologies."

He was very charming. Just like his Papa Bear.

"I'm sure you'll figure these things out eventually. You could try reading my book: I Am America And So Can You to help you out with that."

"Well, as a hard-working naturalized American citizen, businessman, and member of my local Chamber of Commerce, I am always anxious to learn," Eric replied.

Where you can get your groove on to Pat Boone.

Weirdo.

Not that he'll tell you that.

Jaina was up early today, because in about an hour she fully planned on calling her squadron out for some drills when they weren't expecting it. Look, every fight was not going to happen mid-afternoon when you were ready.

But until she decided it was time to give them a horrible wakeup call, she was killing time by making a call.

"Eric Northman's Fluffy Bunny Fun Emporium and Spa," Eric said into the phone. "How can we serve you this evening?"

There was a long pause.

"Gremlin bite?" Jaina checked.

"Exciting new visitors!" Eric chirped in a terrifyingly chipper voice.

"That voice may be the scariest thing I've ever heard," Jaina said. "What kind of visitors?"

"Something about the school," Eric said. "Money thing, everyone's completely normal here, et cetera."

"And you think a Fluffy Bunny Emporium is completely normal?" she teased.

"Do you not buy them at an emporium?"

"No idea. I've never had to buy a bunny. Just had to wait for someone to turn into one," she said with a shrug, not that he could see that.

"Well now you have a place to buy one," Eric said. "It's terribly convenient."

Beat.

"If you need to buy a bunny."

It's a good thing bunnies don't ship well, Jaina.

"Here's the important question, though: do you actually have bunnies there?"

If so, she sooooo wanted pictures.

There was a pause.

"We don't have any rabbits here, no," he finally admitted. "But we're currently named Salutations."

Sorry, but now Jaina had to laugh. "Because your place just screams 'salutations.'"

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The Bar!

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Dance Floor and Lounge!

The Vampire!

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OOC