fandomtownies | Turtle & Canary; Saturday [ 04/28 ].

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Turtle & Canary; Saturday [ 04/28 ].

With all the extra people coming in for the graduation, Samus decided to agree to coming into the general store to help Apu a little, though she doubted he would need her assistance as much as he made it out to be. She was pretty sure he was just a little overexcited because the cheese panda had thought it a good idea to try to make a cheese Squishy that morning, and Apu didn't know how to fix the machine after that.

Samus got Bob back to running shape fairly quickly, though, and gave the bear a stern talking to that probably went in one ear and straight out the other.

Today's Squishy flavors: Magna Cum Laude, Summa Cum Laude, Maxima Cum Red

Turtle & Canary is open!

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Thank you, cum again!

Who may be wondering how long it takes Apu to notice that she pimped Bob out a little bit by adding some LED lights to the body.

Girl has a problem.

Far be it for Valentine to not visit a few of her favorite haunts from when she was attending the school, and her curiosity about whether or not T&C was much changed got the best of her. She was glad to see that some things (Apu, Bob, the sign outside) were still the same, and intrigued about the few things (a panda bear and a robo-armored person behind the counter that she was pretty sure wasn't just Turtle Wexler gone bionic) that were different.

"Please tell me that you still don't sell duct tape."

The only response Samus could really muster up to that was a shrug. She still didn't understand the thing about duct tape. It was quite possibly one of the most impressive technologies this primitive planet had to offer, but Apu was so particular about it.

You better believe there would be duct tape in abundance at Stark's.

Valentine smiled. "Good," she said. "You need to take comfort in certain constants. Have you been working at this store for long?"

Hank had been going to get a Squishy, but he recoiled in disgust from the labels on the machine. "What kind of flavors ARE those?!?!?!?" he asked Samus. "You sicko!!!"

From behind her visor, Samus just sort of narrowed her eyes at Hank, an expression that he probably missed that she did just about any time she encountered him. She shook her head.

She didn't know if he'd noticed, but all of the Squishy flavors were kind of gross. That wasn't food; that was...awful.

Squishies weren't gross! They were like frozen sugar-loaded magical sunshine!

Hank threw his hands in the air in anguish. "Squishies are supposed to be artificial fruit flavors and dyes! Not some sort of... of... drinkable jizz!!!"

Samus took a second to look at Bob, blinked in realization, though it shouldn't surprise her, that perhaps Venture wasn't exactly versed in his Latin, and she snorted.

Really, some creatures should just be put out of their own misery for their own good.

"No," she allowed, "but it may as well be."

"What is the POINT of artificial jizz flavoring?!??!" Hank had to ask. "Do you KNOW how hideously bad of a marketing idea that is?!?! There's no PROFIT in it!!!"

"Clearly," said Samus, "you've never been to a Urtraghus brothel."

And, because she was actually feeling a little bad, she asked, "You realize that cum laude is a term for with honor, right, Venture?"

I want more rain. Rain more, outside, especially since I don't have to work today.

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Turtle & Canary; Saturday [ 04/28 ].

Mod your Shopping - 04/28.

Talk to Samus - 04/28.

Re: Talk to Samus - 04/28.

Re: Talk to Samus - 04/28.

Re: Talk to Samus - 04/28.

Re: Talk to Samus - 04/28.

Re: Talk to Samus - 04/28.

Re: Talk to Samus - 04/28.

Re: Talk to Samus - 04/28.

Re: Talk to Samus - 04/28.

Re: Talk to Samus - 04/28.

OOC - 04/28.