The Park, Saturday Afternoon

[electrocynic]

There was a pony with a green-white-grey colour scheme and an electrical current symbol for a cutie mark in the park, carefully carrying a lighter and a packet of cigarettes in its mouth. Sarah hadn't wanted to set her flat on fire, thanks. It had seemed like a better idea to head out before even trying to have a smoke. Of course, just trying to get out of MCA, let alone her apartment, had been absolutely bloody ridiculous, but she'd managed. She hadn't even begun to think about how this smoking thing was going to work, though. She'd get to that in good time.

Or right now. She stopped by a bench and carefully dropped the cigarettes and the lighter on it. And now, now she was thinking about her next dilemma.

"... Right."

Glancing around, she wasn't sure anyone would be willing to help a pony smoke, but anyone citing animal cruelty related ethical reasons for not helping was going to get kicked into the pond.

[ooopen!]

Comments

[onemoreproblem.livejournal.com]

Unfortunately, Holmes was in a similar dilemma with his pipe, so Sarah was completely out of luck there.

But there was now a pony with a waistcoat to mock if she was so inclined.

"Pardon me, have you seen Ms. Pie?" So he could kill her for infecting him with pony-ness.

[electrocynic]

"Dunno who that is, mate," Sarah groused. There was no even vaguely friendly tones to be had from her today. "Wait, is that the pony?"

... There was something wrong with that question.

"The one who's usually a pony."

[onemoreproblem.livejournal.com]

"The pony," Holmes agreed with so much loathing in his voice that he might have been referring to Skywalker.

[electrocynic]

"You don't think she did this, do you?" Sarah checked. Because if it turned out Pinkie had somehow caused this, well, she wasn't going to be happy. "I thought it was just another fucking island thing."

[onemoreproblem.livejournal.com]

"Island thing?" Look, he'd assumed he was having a nervous break down after meeting his sibling, okay? Some details hadn't quite made it into the conversation.

[electrocynic]

"You know," Sarah rasped, "the oh so wacky Fandom stuff. Random days where you can't swear, or the entire town is overrun with lizard things and rabbits, or you wake up with hooves."

[onemoreproblem.livejournal.com]

"Such as today," Holmes drawled. "How exciting."

[electrocynic]

"You get used to it." Beat. "Well, no you don't. But everyone says you do. In reality, it's about as annoying every time."

[halfman-lion.livejournal.com]

Forget smoking; the white-and-gold miniature pony over on the other side of the park was more focused on how, exactly, anyone expected a pony to read. He got the book to the park in his mouth well enough, but turning pages was entirely beyond Tyrion.

"This is not," he said, giving up on reading for now to trot over and investigate the other pony, "the most entirely convenient thing the island's done to us, is it?"

[electrocynic]

"By really fucking far," Sarah agreed, her usual drawl making her voice go even more pony-like. Which just annoyed her more. "This is bloody ridiculous. How am I supposed to smoke like this?"

Of course, she could have just considered not smoking...

[halfman-lion.livejournal.com]

"You could just not smoke," Tyrion suggested. "How am I supposed to read?"

And then he whinnied in annoyance. "How am I supposed to drink?"

[electrocynic]

"Drinking's easy, mate," Sarah told him. "Just get the barkeep to get a bigger thing to drink from than a glass. Smoking, on the other hand, is something I need for my sanity."

And everyone else's safety, really.

[halfman-lion.livejournal.com]

"You could just eat the cigarettes," Tyrion suggested, having absolutely no idea if that would work or not. "And I'll take your point on the drinking, even though it will mean moving in at the fucking bar."

He mused over this for a second. "Perhaps they'll put in stalls for us to sleep in."

[electrocynic]

"Well, there's always hope," Sarah rasped. At least she could still talk like herself. The day of no swearing had traumatized her. "And I'm not eating the cigarettes, that's fucking disgusting."

[halfman-lion.livejournal.com]

"We're horses," Tyrion pointed out, mostly because arguing made him feel more like himself. "How is it more disgusting than grazing to begin with?"

Were they meant to graze? whether they were or not, he had been. It took his mind off the not reading.

[electrocynic]

"Well I'm not fucking intending to graze, either," Sarah retorted with an indignant huff. "Also, we're not horses, we're ponies. I'm fairly sure."

[suitably_heroic]

"--ta!"

Congratulations, Sarah. You would be the first - if by far not the last - to be regaled with an impressive burst of Twi'lek expletives hailing from the mouth of one Atton Rand, esquire of nothing in particular.

Yes, he'd been complaining about this since the morning. Yes, he was going to keep doing it. Yes... he had just tripped over his hooves and right down a really embarrassingly small hill.

[electrocynic]

Okay, so Sarah laughed a little. Or neighed a little. Whichever. Schadenfreude was her only solace at a time like this.

"You all right there, mate?"

[suitably_heroic]

"I'm a pony," Atton bitched said. "Does that sound like it's all right to you?"

[electrocynic]

"That's speciest," Sarah informed him mock loftily. The narrative had lied about the schadenfreude. Just plain messing with people was good too. "Someone on this island is always a pony, you could get in trouble for talking like that."

[suitably_heroic]

"Then you-- and the pony-- can go choke on your own waste." Atton had some trouble scrambling back onto his feet-- hooves, and when he finally managed it, he looked more like a newborn than anything else.

[electrocynic]

"God, look at you, you're tiny." Yeah, sorry, she was going to find that amusing as well. "How'd they even let you out by yourself?"

[suitably_heroic]

"Yeah, well, you look like someone just threw up on you," Atton replied. "Multiple times. Can't say I blame them."

[yakkoyaks.livejournal.com]

Yakko ran through the park, clapping the halves of a coconut shell together before suddenly skidding to a stop and tossing the shell halves away.

"It's that time again!" After a brief pause, he continued, as if addressing someone who wasn't there. "No, it's time to learn the day's lesson! And to find out what it is, we turn to... The Wheel of Morality!" Yakko motioned toward a tree. A large wheel with 'The Wheel of Morality' written on it in huge letters drifted toward Yakko from behind the tree.

"Wheel of Morality, turn, turn, turn," Yakko recited as he spun the wheel. "Tell us the lesson that we should learn." As the spinning wheel slowed down and landed on the number 5, a sheet of paper was printed from a slot on the side. Yakko went to his next line as he grabbed the sheet of paper. "Moral Number Five. And the moral of today's story is... You can lead a horse to water, but you can't play water polo on it easily."

Yakko shrugged, dashed away, and the wheel drifted back behind the tree a moment later.

[electrocynic]

"... What?" Sarah asked no one in particular, after Yakko was already long gone.

Fandom never made any sense.