fandomtownies | Turtle & Canary; Saturday [06/16 ].

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Turtle & Canary; Saturday [06/16 ].

Valentine really didn't have much to do today, which was why she was mostly spending it at the shop, reading Twenty-Five Hues of Puce behind the counter.

And trying not to laugh.

Flipping a page idly, tilting her head in what looked like thought, she was doing her best to remind herself that stopping by the Boards when she was finished and taking the sign for auditions up by doing a dramatic reading was a terrible idea.

Today's Squishy flavors: Purple Prose, Bad Fanfic, Red

Turtle & Canary is open!

[[ and Tony/Val thread gets a little NSFW with ACTUAL QUOTES that are NSF LIFE ]]

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Thank you, come again!

She wouldn't mind an interruption. Her brain would actually thank you for it.

Lies, Valentine. Lies.

"Hello?" Wow, Tony needed to get out more if this was a new shop for him to visit.

Well, it did give her hope that the latest Demosthenes and Jarvis collaboration might have a chance of seeing the light of day eventually...

"Hello," Valentine chirped back, appearing far less eager to place a bookmark between the pages than she actually was.

Jarvis. Jarvis.

Tony looked down at the book and then back up at her. "Wow, I'm just going to back away and pretend I never saw that."

"I've got copies of it fifty percent off if you want one," Valentine offered. "Just think of all the things you can do with it besides read it. Door stop. Campfire kindling. Potential assault weapon, and, apparently, potential loitering customer repellant..."

"Potential item to turn someone off of sex for the rest of their lives," Tony suggested.

"Oh!" Valentine lit up a little. "Natural birth control and/or abstinence promoter! Good one. That could be useful for the next prom, or whatever dance offsets that whole alternature-universe offspring thing."

"I had kids with guys. I don't think it would help me there."

"Fandom science is an amazing thing, isn't it?" Valentine noted, shaking her head. "I'm happy to say I've managed to avoid that particular experience, but the stories are always pretty interesting."

"Lucky," Tony said with a snort, peering at the book some more. "How bad is it?"

He'd read Ben's terrible gay lit, after all.

Valentine considered the book very, very carefully.

"I've seen worse," she said.

By seen, of course, she'd meant written. She laughed, though, shaking her head. "But it's still really bad. I'd recommend it when you're either feeling particularly sadistic, or you just plan on going camping and don't want to lug around rolls of toilet paper."

"Don't buy for Stephanie as a romantic gesture," Tony decided with a serious nod. "Gotcha."

"Not unless you hate Stephanie," Valentine confirmed with a nod. "Who I take it is..." She gave him a speculative look, "Girlfriend?"

"Girlfriend. She's awesome like that."

By making him eat and bathe on occasion.

Valentine snorted a little. "So, yeah, I'd usually recommend chocolates or a dinner out in that respect," she said, "unless you two want to share a good laugh or need something to sway you off the sinful path when you get all excited."

"Leaving room for Jesus?"

"Always," Valentine said with a sage-like nod. "I mean, you're not going to tell me that you aren't dutifully shirking off the temptations of living in a mostly unsupervised co-ed dorm, are you?"

"Oh yeah, Stephanie and I sneak off to our secret place to read bible verses and talk about how much we enjoy holding hands," Tony replied seriously.

And fighting crime.

Again, Valentine gave an approving nod. "Good," she said.

Followed by a smirking, "I hope you're better at that than you are lying."

"Excuse you, I'm an excellent liar." Ahahahahahaha. No.

"As clearly evidenced by such a statement," Valentine noted, trying not to laugh. She mostly didn't succeed.

"A master at it. SHIELD wants to recruit me, I'm so good at it."

Valentine was very impressed, Tony.

"And SHIELD is....?"

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Mod your Shopping - 06/16.

Talk to Valentine - 06/16.

Re: Talk to Valentine - 06/16.

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OOC - 06/16.