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Caritas, Saturday

There was a lion cub in the bar, and it seemed like Tino had his hands full with that. That was disappointing, because April had really hoped she'd get to maybe harrass Tino a bit today. But alas, no.

Fortunately, she was at least able to annoy him by painting her nails (black, of course) where he could smell the polish. Sanitary for a bar? Maybe not. But it was happening.

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Zayne walked into the bar to find a strange sight. One person with nail polish. One person with a lion club.

"The place seems extra quirky tonight," he said, walking up to take a seat at the bar.

"No it doesn't."

April, don't be a jerk to the customer.

"So I've only ever come in on the rare nights without baby animals?" Zayne checked.

...Sure, she could go with that.

"Yep." April examined her nails. "We have a lion cub in here at least once a week."

"Sorry, don't buy it. Nice try, though," Zayne said.

"Whatever." It wasn't like she'd been all that invested in the lie anyway. April paused in her nail polish application, looked at Zayne, then decided to ask the obvious question. "Want a drink?"

"Well, it's why I came here. But can you do it with the polish?" he checked.

"...I think that would poison you."

She was aware that she was being difficult tonight, yes.

"Yeah, probably. And that guy's probably too covered in cat fur for it to be sanitary," Zayne mused.

"Especially if you have allergies." Hmm. This was quite a predicament they were in. "Well. There is a solution."

"Don't tell me the cat can tend bar," Zayne joked.

"Well," Tino began.

"Thank you, Tino," April said loudly, cutting him off. "No, the solution would be to get something in a bottle."

"I was hoping it would be the cat," Zayne said. "But okay. I'll take some kind of bottled beer."

He was so specific. LEARN EARTH DRINKS SOMETIME, ZAYNE.

April gave him a weird look, but obligingly slid over a Coors.

"It's a really good beer," she said seriously.

April was in full-on sociopath mode tonight, clearly.

"Somehow I doubt that," Zayne noted. "But I'm here more for the atmosphere than the drinks anyway. And this place... definitely has an atmosphere tonight."

"Thanks to my mad bartending skills?" Something... different than that, April. Very different.

"Sure, let's go with that," Zayne said. "They fit in well here."

With the lions and zombies and Tino.

Oh. That was kind of flattering.

"In that case I should probably tell you something," April said solemnly. "Coors isn't a really good beer."

"Is it too late to swap it for something better?" Zayne asked. "I've barely touched the bottle."

April thought about that. "Yeah, sure," she said, sliding the bottle to Tino. "You can finish that," she told him generously, and plucked another bottle off the shelf to hand to Zayne. "That sucks less."

"That almost sounds like a good review," Zayne said. "Thanks for the head's up."

"Told you," April said. "Mad bartending skills."

Right.

"Well, I'm officially impressed. And all that while taking care of your nails, too," Zayne said.

"And keeping Tino's new pet alive," April added. "Tino can't keep anything alive."

None of that was true.

"I hope he usually just sticks to plants," Zayne joked.

"Wouldn't we all," April said with a dramatic sigh.

She had no idea what she was making up at this point.

"Why? What are you claiming he's killed?" Zayne had to ask.

"I don't know," April said, waving a hand vaguely. "Things."

"Those poor dead things," Zayne said. "They have my sympathy."

"Mine too," April said solemnly. "Mine. Too."

There was a lion cub in the bar. Playing with a zombie. This seemed like Prof Tomoe's kind of place.

"There are an awful lot of animals running loose in town this week," he remarked causally, taking a seat at the bar.

"Zoo breakout?" April suggested. "I wouldn't put it past Tino to accidentally let an entire zoo get loose."

...

"Do we even have a zoo?"

"There'd certainly be enough animals to populate it with all the creatures reported to be running around this week. If there isn't a zoo here, perhaps they should open one" Prof Tomoe suggested. He gestured over at Tino. "They could use zombies to staff it."

The corners of his mouth started to creep up in a grin. "And attach the lasers gun harnesses."

Someone's mind was wandering a little off track, there.

"...I think the animals would probably eat the zombies," April said slowly.

Prof Tomoe waved off April concern. "There's always ways of making more zombies. They're an expendable asset. Although not very high in nutrients, I'd imagine."

"Except the animals would get sick," April pointed out. "And then we'd be out a band."

He shrugged. "Sacrifices often have to be made in the pursuit of science. Don't think of it as losing a band; think of it as gaining an full understanding of the nutritive effects of zombie flesh on the digestive system of lions and such. On whether or not the medical or magical forces behind the reanimation of the dead work if you eat their flesh instead of them devouring yours."

He paused. "And you could always get some animatronic robots for a replacement house band. Like in those Rick E. Rat restaurants."

"...Yeah, no," April said. "If you want to eat rotting flesh for science, that's your business. Not a bunch of animals' fault."

Prof Tomoe looked vaguely insulted. "I would never eat rotting flesh, even for science," he said. "That's the sort of thing minions and TAs are for."

"Right," April said. "Which animals are not."

"But they're still decent test subjects," said Prof Tomoe. "Everything dies eventually. Why does it matter that much what happens to beings living in this world before our inevitable doom arrives?"

And by 'inevitable doom', he meant 'that giant, hairy-eyeball-like, eldritch abomination from a far off nebula that I am trying to help get to Earth to destroy the planet, because I kind of sold my soul to it'.

April sure knows how to party.

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Caritas, Saturday

The Bar

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The Stage

The Lounge

The Back Room

OOC