fandomtownies | The Perk, Sunday Afternoon

Entry tags:

The Perk, Sunday Afternoon

Lucky Jonothon, being the proud new owner of a great deal of bondage gear that he had yet to use, and was probably never going to. Last night had... certainly been interesting, but, surprisingly enough, was fairly low on the scale of humiliating things that he'd done while under the influence of gremlin venom. Really, if the worst he had done all night was buy out half the stock of Dite's and argue semantics with Samantha while dressed... more or less the same way he did back in high school, he was going to consider that a win.

In fact, he was kind of smirking into his coffee mug while he killed the last few hours before his portal back to Haven. All-in-all, this weekend hadn't been as horribly catastrophic as it could have been, given Fandom's temperament. He was almost halfway back to feeling like himself again after spending the night in his own bed with his cat curled up on his feet.

Which was possibly why he was wearing the leather trousers again, with his usual black t-shirt and long coat combo, and Joni peering out at the world again from where she was half tucked away into his coat pocket. If anybody was going to fault him for taking a day to re-live his youth in such a subtle way, he'd probably just chuckle and show them how much leather he wore back when he was eighteen, see what they had to say then.

[OOC: Open Perk is open!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Good afternoon, Professor," Yeul said as she stepped inside and made her way over to the counter.

It was not an entirely accurate form of address for him, since he was not a professor at the current time, but Yeul did not think he would be particularly upset by it either.

"Yeul, luv," Jono greeted, giving her a warm smile and lifting his coffee mug to her in greeting. "I haven't got a single complaint about this afternoon yet, as a matter of fact. And the day's been treating you well also, I hope?"

He didn't imagine she would state otherwise. They'd met.

... She was just a bit predictable.

Yeul paid for her tea and then made her way over to where he sat. "The day is treating me well," she said agreeably, then smiled. "Do your afternoons often come with complaints?"

"Depends on the afternoon, mostly," Jono replied, shrugging one shoulder slightly. "I've had worse afternoons than this one in the past few weeks, admittedly. But life goes on."

With or without the New Warriors. With or without Mira. Life went on.

"It does," she said, with a glance at him. "I will hope this afternoon continues to treat you well, even if others have not had the same courtesy."

"Today's not showing any sign of disappointing, so far," Jonothon decided easily, smiling faintly before taking another mouthful of coffee. "It's good to be back on the island, if only for a few more hours. How's it been behaving in my absence, dare I ask?"

Yeul thought about her answer.

"Quiet," she said slowly. "The phones were quite strange and there were flaming vegetables that liked to attack people but nothing particularly..." Yeul shrugged. The flaming vegetables had reminded her of Pulse. "The start of classes seems to be enough excitement for the island at this time."

"Sounds like," Jono agreed, blinking. That would explain a couple of the voicemails he'd gotten over the weekend, at least. "Flaming vegetables, really? This place certainly does like to try to get the better of its population with dangerous roughage, it seems. When I was a student, it was killer tomatoes."

"I hope they did not kill anyone," Yeul said earnestly. "The ones we had were not particularly effective."

Given that Yeul had made it to the Perk and back while walking with blatant disregard to their potential threat...

"Fairly certain there were no actual casualties, tomatoes aside," Jono promised. "And the onions, that day that they were doing everything in their power to make people cry..."

Because apparently onions were horrible people.

"Good to hear people were more or less safe during this last invasion, at least."

Yeul shrugged slightly. "I think people were almost... relieved," she replied. "It was much less threatening than the dungeons had been."

Jono made a face at the reminder of the dungeon. He'd gotten out of that one fairly unscathed. It was a shame so many others couldn't say the same.

"And less disconcerting than becoming somebody else entirely for a weekend," he noted. "When this island gets geared up, there really isn't a moment in edgewise to just breathe, it seems."

"I suppose so," she said, smiling slightly. "I am probably not the one to ask about that."

Which did not bother her.

"No," Jonothon agreed, "I suppose not."

Because, really, she was Yeaul.

"I suppose I should just be thankful that it hasn't gone out of its way to frighten off the new students, really."

Red hot chili peppers were nothing.

[Bedtime for me! SP?]

"That may be the best way to look at it," Yeul said lightly. "Perhaps it will take a break for a while longer?"

[SP! Good night!]

"It had better," Jono decided, smiling faintly. "After all, there's only a few months before more new students show up, and it'll be going out of its way to frighten them off, too."

Really, the island had this way of scaring off new students just in time to repopulate itself with the dawn of a new semester, it felt like.

"It should at least hold off until I can spend more time around the island. I'd hate for something to go horribly awry without me here to attempt some manner of damage control."

"I am certain the island will miss your attempts," Yeul said. "If I may ask, where are you going? I did notice you were not teaching this semester."

"There's a war," Jonothon replied, simply, "or there will be one, in the world of a close friend of mine. I volunteered to train up some willing soldiers, try to at least hold whatever passes for a front line in a Territory that doesn't have any need for an organized military. I'll be back and forth now and again- the weapon I use needs to be recharged or else it becomes entirely useless. But... the majority of my summer will be spent in Glacia, fighting."

Yeul considered all of that while taking a sip of her tea.

"You are very kind," she said quietly. "I hope you will be unharmed."

She did not say that she hoped the war went well. Wars never went well, not even for the winning side.

Edited 2013-05-20 13:39 (UTC)

"Thank you, Yeul." Jono was quiet for a moment while he took a mouthful of his own drink, looking out the window while he pieced together a reply. "I'm... not expecting to come out of this in one piece. It's war. There will always be scars, even if they're not worn out in the open for everyone to see. But I've already got my fair share of those. A few more won't be the end of me, if I make it through this."

With Yeul, he knew, there was no sense dancing around the truth. With some of his other students, he might have. But Yeul...

He figured Yeul would know better, if he tried.

"Yes," she said, still in that quiet voice. "Perhaps I should have said 'I hope you come back' instead. Scars can be dealt with."

"Scars can be dealt with," Jonothon agreed with a little nod of his head. "For what it's worth, I'll be doing all I can to make certain I come back, if only because I'm not in any hurry to leave my soldiers out there alone."

It wasn't the greatest reason, but at least he had one.

"For that reason only? For no other reason?" she asked gently.

"Maybe not that reason only," Jono allowed, after a moment's pause. "But... in the middle of war, it's entirely possible that I might lose sight of the rest. Looking around and seeing people that rely on me to lead them right... that's immediate. That's something that's right there."

She thought about that.

"Perhaps you could write down your other reasons?" Yeul suggested. "Your soldiers will always be present but, should that not be enough, you will have a list on you that gives you other reasons."

Jonothon pondered that for a moment, and then, after a moment, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a letter, written on a battered and worn piece of green stationery.

"I do have something like that," he noted, looking at the piece of paper, but not unfolding it. "A reminder that life is all too short to let go of it too easily. I don't let myself go very far at all without it."

"That's good," she said encouragingly, making no move to reach for the letter or to ask if she could. "Will it be enough, with your soldiers on your shoulders as well?"

"I think..." Jono unfolded the letter, staring down at it quietly. All these years, and reading it still grabbed at his heart and left him without breath, "I think there's not much in the world that could possibly be more potent than this reminder. She wouldn't want me to give up, not now. Not ever. Not until my time."

He was ashamed that he'd almost done so, so many times since having her in his life.

She reached out to rest one hand on his. Yeul was careful not to touch the letter. "I do not think you will give up," Yeul said gently. "A reminder and a duty, those are things to live for."

Yeul looked down. "Though I do not think either give much hope."

"Hope," Jono replied, "is something else entirely. I have to make my own hope. Memories and responsibilities are all the here and now and yesterday. Hope is for tomorrow."

He shrugged his shoulders.

"With any luck, my soldiers will have enough of that for me to borrow some."

Yeul hesitated then said, "You've contradicted yourself."

"Have I?" Jono gave Yeul a questioning glance, and then smiled faintly. "I just mean to say... I can't take theirs, obviously. But if they believe that we can get through this, that whatever's on the other side is something worth fighting for, then... that's a foundation for me to build the same on. Obviously I can't take theirs. Besides the logistical difficulties of something like that... they're going to need it."

"What about yourself?" Yeul continued. "What hope carries you forward to see this through? A promise to a friend? People to keep safe? Those are for others, not for yourself. What do you get out of it, Professor? What will you get to make it worth it?"

Yeul really wasn't a fan of asking the easy questions, was she? Jono looked down at his piece of paper, cradling it there in his hands for a moment before carefully folding and tucking it away in his pocket again.

"Penance," he said simply. "Another step toward being able to look at myself in the mirror again."

She studied him quietly. "What are you paying for?"

"Failure," Jono replied, a little too softly. "A failure that cost far, far too many people their lives."

And many of those lives had been lost by his hand.

"I see."

She did, that was the thing. Yeul knew the cost of failure.

"When will you be done paying?"

"Never."

As simple as that. The cost of failure was something that would never stop haunting him. There were too many faces still screaming into his mind whenever he closed his eyes.

Yeul sighed. She had expected that response.

"I cannot tell you that what worked for me, will work for you," Yeul said quietly. "But perhaps you should consider if those who died care about vengeance now that they are gone and if your suffering is less a way to pay them back and more a way to make yourself feel better about what happened."

The words were harsh though she did her best to gentle them with her tone.

Jono, to his credit, at least managed not to wince.

"They might care, or they might not," he said, at length. "But it's simple truth enough that I can't just do nothing. I couldn't bring myself to sit out on things that could hurt me even before it all went wrong. That's just... not who I am. It never has been."

"The only one saying that perhaps you should do nothing is yourself," Yeul said, still in that same gentle, deliberate voice. "If I were you, and I have been in your position, I would suggest that you learn to forgive yourself. It is not easy but it is more useful than punishing yourself because the people who might have cannot."

... Dammit, Yeul. There you go with all of your 'making sense' and things again.

"You wouldn't be the first one to tell me that, for what it's worth," Jono replied. "And I know you're right. I can't go far if I keep carrying a grudge against myself."

Especially not for things that had been beyond his control.

"I'm working on that part," he added. "And making progress, in fact. It's just... slow going."

"It always is," she said, nodding. "I... had more time than others to reconcile myself to it."

Time was one thing she never ran out of.

"At least you can admit it," she continued. "That is a good step."

"It's... definitely a step," Jono agreed with a small nod. "There's guilt, certainly, but it isn't near as debilitating as it once was. I'm in a far better place now than I was even this time last year."

She nodded.

"Try not to let the war make you backslide," Yeul said quietly. "Which is easy for me to say and harder for you to do, I believe."

"More easily said than done," Jono replied, nodding faintly. "Particularly when there are so many people under my command... so many lives in my hands. But I'll do what I can. I can't afford to do any less."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

The Perk, Sunday Afternoon

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject