MCA lobby, Tuesday evening

[cataclysmicluck.livejournal.com]

While Zayne was upstairs in his apartment, GG-85 was hard at work filing paperwork and... Doing whatever else needed doing in an apartment office the day after rent was due. Probably more paperwork.

While GG-85 was distracted, a gremlin snuck into the office, saw an oil canister that GG intended to use for its joints later on, and took a sip, expecting it to be coffee. The gremlin reacted the way you might expect, spitting the oil back into the canister and walking away.

Minutes later, its paperwork done, GG-85 picked up the gremlin-tainted oil and began to work its aching joints.

Oh what hilarity might unfurl shortly once the gremlin spit started to take dubious effect on the droid's programming?

[OOC: Primarily for one who knows who one is.]

Comments

[justlurkinghere]

Was Derek one? Was he? Was he?

Possibly. But mostly, he just wanted to see if there was a public bathroom here to use. Because what other reason would have to go near normal apartments where people lived without that abandoned vibe?

[cataclysmicluck.livejournal.com]

"Hello. Can I help you?" GG-85 asked, still feeling mostly normal. Normal for a droid.

[justlurkinghere]

"...no." Why was he talking to a robot? Oh god, was he being punked?

[cataclysmicluck.livejournal.com]

"Is there a reason for your being here?" GG-85 asked, still being as hospitable as its programming required.

[justlurkinghere]

He could totally hold it. "Why?" he asked instead, trying to out-stare a robot. Yeah. That'll happen.

[cataclysmicluck.livejournal.com]

"I am programmed to be helpful," GG-85 said. "You need a shave." It was starting to take hold.

[justlurkinghere]

"No, I don't." He totally did. But the stubble made him look tough instead of just sad.

[cataclysmicluck.livejournal.com]

"You are poorly groomed, little poodle. I will get the razor," GG-85 said, opening drawers to find the razor that was not there.

[justlurkinghere]

"What." Seriously. What.

[cataclysmicluck.livejournal.com]

GG-85 grabbed a yellow highlighter from the drawer and made its way out of the office. "Settle down, girl. I promise to be careful."

[justlurkinghere]

Derek glared at the machine, moving around to avoid it. Like the brave little toaster he was. Because this was his life here.

Karma's bitch.

He was the movie!Scott Summers of his universe.

[cataclysmicluck.livejournal.com]

"Whiiiiirrrrrrrrrr," GG-85 said after uncapping the highlighter. It followed Derek around as well as it could, being a somewhat spindly droid. "You will do well in the dog show when I'm done with you."

[justlurkinghere]

Derek sighed dramatically, ducking when it got too close. Look, if anyone owned this thing, he could say he tried not to break it.

He didn't try hard, but he still tried.

"Leave me alone."

[cataclysmicluck.livejournal.com]

"Ha ha, yes, woof woof to you, too," GG-85 said, reaching down with the highlighter. "Yes, you are a good girl. Now stay still, Princess Fifi!"

[justlurkinghere]

He was not a princess! He was a majestic prince, thank you very much!

Derek sighed again, shoving at the damn thing with probably more force than strictly necessary. It was a robot, it's not like it was programmed to feel pain!

Right? Oh god, please say it wasn't programmed to feel pain.

[cataclysmicluck.livejournal.com]

"My leg!" GG-85 cried as it fell backwards and watched its arm snap off. "Why did you bite my leg, you pretty little girl?"

[justlurkinghere]

"..." Derek sighed with less drama, stepping around it. "I hate this island."

[cataclysmicluck.livejournal.com]

"PRINCESSSSSSSSSSS!" GG-85 cried.

Zayne happened to be on his way downstairs when he heard the droid crying out. By the time he reached the lobby, he was at a full sprint and his lightsaber was out. "Um."

[justlurkinghere]

Which was possibly the weirdest thing to happen to Derek. So, congrats on that honor, Zayne.

Derek froze up, shoulders hunched defensively as he looked for an exit. Because glowing sword.

[cataclysmicluck.livejournal.com]

"Why is my manager droid broken?" Zayne demanded, holding a hand out just in case he had to resort to the Force to keep Derek there. "And why is it weeping?"

"Princess, so violent. Why. Why. Why. Why," GG-85 said between mechanical sobs.

[justlurkinghere]

DAMN IT, MAGIC POWERS.

"That's a manager?" Yes, focus on things that didn't involve emotionally scarring a robot.

[cataclysmicluck.livejournal.com]

"It... was," Zayne said, as GG-85 tried to reach over and highlight Derek's leg. "It wasn't like that when I left it earlier."

[justlurkinghere]

Not the jeans!

"It thinks I'm a poodle," Derek replied. Did he look like a poodle to you? Don't answer that.

[cataclysmicluck.livejournal.com]

"You're not one, right?" Zayne asked, thumbing his lightsaber off and clipping it back on his belt.

"Good poodle," GG-85 said, really going to town on those jeans. SOON THEY WOULD BE PROPERLY GROOMED.

[justlurkinghere]

Derek really hated you, strange man with a glowing sword. He hated you so damn much.

[cataclysmicluck.livejournal.com]

"Did you happen to see anything before it went crazy?" Zayne asked, walking over to take the highlighter away.

[justlurkinghere]

"No, it just came after me." AND NOW HE NEEDED TO BUY MORE NEW JEANS.

[cataclysmicluck.livejournal.com]

"Sorry about that. I have no idea how that might have happened," Zayne said. "I probably can't leave it in charge now...."

[justlurkinghere]

Derek gave it a good glare before nodding in agreement. "Try not to let that happen."

[cataclysmicluck.livejournal.com]

Zayne reached behind GG-85's head and powered the droid down. "The only thing is, I'm flying back to my galaxy in the morning, and now the building is out its second manager in three days."

[justlurkinghere]

"That sounds like tough luck." Derek cared not for your misery, Zayne.

[cataclysmicluck.livejournal.com]

"I've found that tough luck is usually followed by random good luck," Zayne said thoughtfully. "You don't happen to need a job, do you?"

[justlurkinghere]

"...no." Oh sure, give him a job. He was soooo social.

[cataclysmicluck.livejournal.com]

"Are you sure? It's actually not that involved, I pay pretty well, and it comes with a pretty great apartment," Zayne said.

[justlurkinghere]

Was it abandoned and decrepit?

"For managing this place?" Really?

[cataclysmicluck.livejournal.com]

"Yep," Zayne said. "I just ask that you treat the tenants well and don't let the place blow up."

[justlurkinghere]

Derek stared at him. Because did he look like someone who would treat the tenants well?

[cataclysmicluck.livejournal.com]

"Is that a yes?" Zayne asked. "I'm Zayne, by the way. Zayne Carrick."

[justlurkinghere]

Oh, just assume it was a yes. Like Pinkie Pie would.

"Derek Hale."

[cataclysmicluck.livejournal.com]

Zayne and Pinkie would seriously get along.

"Come into the office. I'll get the paperwork started," Zayne said. "And don't worry about the droid. I'll bring it back with me in the morning when I leave. I know someone who likes to work with... slightly odd droids."

[justlurkinghere]

"What?" Why was he being hired? DID YOU NOT SEE HOW POOR HE WAS AT EVERYTHING?

[cataclysmicluck.livejournal.com]

ZAYNE BELIEVED IN YOU, DEREK! GIVE YOURSELF A CHANCE!

"I'm sure you'll do a great job, Derek," Zayne said. He still had copies of the forms he made up back when Coulson got the job, so he just had to write Derek's name in and... "Just sign here."

[justlurkinghere]

NO. HE'LL DATE SOMEONE AND THEY'LL BURN THE PLACE DOWN. DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?

Derek stared at the paper for a moment before signing. Because why not make some more poor decisions?

[cataclysmicluck.livejournal.com]

"I should warn you that a few of the apartments are a little weird. There's one with something called a 'Wild Rumpus' room that has mood-colored carpets? And a few of the kitchens claim to be 'of doom,' but they've never done anything weird that I've seen. Oh, and the first basement is a bunker. Just in case that's ever needed."