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fandomtownies2013-11-08 04:13 pm
fix-it-guy.livejournal.com) wrote in fandomtownies2013-11-08 04:13 pm
Entry tags:
Turtle & Canary, Friday
For the umpteenth time since he bought the place, Mike looked over at the dairy aisle and sighed. This time, he decided it was actually time to do something about it. He carefully set down his book and reading glasses and walked up to the panda.
"We can't go on like this," Mike observed. It was a casual, conversational tone, sure, but there was steel underneath. "This is just not gonna work out."
The panda thrust a block of cheese in his face menacingly. Clearly, if Mike didn't buy it, the panda would be forced to hurt him.
Mike didn't blink. "Okay, this is what's gonna happen: I'm going to give you until tomorrow to think this over, because major life changes are big and scary, and I want to give you a chance to make the choice that's right for you. Do you understand me?"
The panda narrowed its beady little eyes at Mike, waved the block of cheese to get his attention, and raised a paw threateningly.
Mike rolled his eyes and sighed. Acknowledging the threat would mean losing control of the situation. "When I come to speak to you tomorrow, you will have one of two choices: One, you will leave this store and never come back. I don't care where you go, I don't care what you do, but you will NOT be threatening my customers for their shopping preferences." The panda started growling. Mike -- still speaking calmly and firmly -- raised his voice in order to be heard. "Or TWO, you will become an employee of this store. You will be paid a generous wage, and you will be given a room in the back to make your home. In exchange, you will do whatever Apu or I ask of you, and, again, you will NOT threaten my customers. There is no third option. Do I make myself clear?"
In response, the panda cuffed him hard, sending him flying across the aisle into a shelf.
Mike groaned and picked himself up off the floor. "Oh, for the love of -- THAT WAS MY SHOULDER!!!"
Today's Squishy Flavors: Ultimatum, Mozzarella, Red
"We can't go on like this," Mike observed. It was a casual, conversational tone, sure, but there was steel underneath. "This is just not gonna work out."
The panda thrust a block of cheese in his face menacingly. Clearly, if Mike didn't buy it, the panda would be forced to hurt him.
Mike didn't blink. "Okay, this is what's gonna happen: I'm going to give you until tomorrow to think this over, because major life changes are big and scary, and I want to give you a chance to make the choice that's right for you. Do you understand me?"
The panda narrowed its beady little eyes at Mike, waved the block of cheese to get his attention, and raised a paw threateningly.
Mike rolled his eyes and sighed. Acknowledging the threat would mean losing control of the situation. "When I come to speak to you tomorrow, you will have one of two choices: One, you will leave this store and never come back. I don't care where you go, I don't care what you do, but you will NOT be threatening my customers for their shopping preferences." The panda started growling. Mike -- still speaking calmly and firmly -- raised his voice in order to be heard. "Or TWO, you will become an employee of this store. You will be paid a generous wage, and you will be given a room in the back to make your home. In exchange, you will do whatever Apu or I ask of you, and, again, you will NOT threaten my customers. There is no third option. Do I make myself clear?"
In response, the panda cuffed him hard, sending him flying across the aisle into a shelf.
Mike groaned and picked himself up off the floor. "Oh, for the love of -- THAT WAS MY SHOULDER!!!"
Today's Squishy Flavors: Ultimatum, Mozzarella, Red