fandomtownies | The Perk, Sunday morning

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The Perk, Sunday morning

Batman had been out so late last night doing work in Baltimore that he technically ended up being out early. So when the Batwing dropped him off in front of the Perk (literally dropped him, since he loved flashy entrances so much) before autopiloting away, certain changes had already taken place around town.

That's why before going in to get some coffee, Batman left a note on the gun machine.

Remember: The only thing more dangerous than a gun is me.
-Batman

After getting his coffee, Batman took a seat by the window. And he watched. He might have a few words about gun safety with anyone who decided they really needed a gun right then and there.

[OOC: C'mon, I had to. Open, especially to anyone who wants a lecture!]

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After coming back this morning to buy his pile of guns and cart them away (because his mun didn't realize the machines weren't working yesterday *facepalm*), Mike walked inside, got himself a coffee, and walked up to the strangely-dressed man in the window.

"'Batman', huh? That you?"

"That's me," Batman said before sipping on his coffee. He was still looking out the window.

Mike sat down and also looked out the window. "You expect your little note to scare people away from the vending machine? You need a reputation in order to be able to do that, and you are not as famous here as you think you are."

"No. I expect my note to warn people to be smart if they decide to buy something," Batman said. "If they're not, then they'll get a reason to be scared."

"And just because you don't know me, Mike, don't assume that most of the town doesn't know what I can do." Did he just drop the name of a person he just met? Yes, yes he did. World's Greatest Detective in a town with a detailed radio broadcast. Awwww yeah.

"Yeah, I listen to the radio, too. You can give 'em all detention."

Mike took another sip of his coffee, and kept his eyes on the vending machine. "So, Cape-and-Tights, you figure out Handsome Jack's dastardly scheme yet? I'm worried about what they expect us to be using these guns on."

"You haven't been here during an invasion. Talk to people who lived through the Sharknado. Look at crime statistics in Baltimore in the past several months. Then you might actually have some idea what you're talking about," Batman said. "Or be ignorant of what the people around you can do."

"I choose not to be. And that's why I know it doesn't matter what Hyperion is doing. If they're as sketchy as they seem," Batman said, confident that they were, "the people of Fandom and the island itself won't stand for it."

"All right, I'm impressed," Mike told him, more than a little amused. "Is now the part where I say 'thank goodness you're on our side'? Because, yeah, I am. And, no, I don't like being ignorant, but I'm also not taking notes on my neighbors."

He shrugged. "Mostly, I don't care what they're up to, either. I just want to be ready when it kicks down my front door."

"In that case, be prepared for anything. I assume you know how to fight," Batman said. Usually the only people who were mouthy to a guy who threatened potential gun owners who dressed like Dracula were people who didn't have a problem throwing a punch. Well, either that, or teenager who had yet to develop a sense of self-preservation.

"Be ready to. Be armed if you need to be. And know that if anything you do hurts any of your neighbors, I will be taking notes," Batman said. "But if tradition holds, things will either be back to normal either tomorrow or in about a week. Like I said, we've had practice with this stuff."

Mike thought all that over, and shrugged. "You're the expert, and I'm just the new guy. I don't know what the people of this island are capable of. Two things, though. One: If you know there's danger coming, and you're advising people to be armed, why leave a threatening note on the vending machine? And two: you may know this island, but I've got some experience with evil corporations. There's a good chance they're intending to stay."

"If you're so experienced, then why do you advocate using the weapons they're supplying?" Batman asked. "You're already assuming they're evil and they're going to be some kind of threat. If you buy their weapons, money goes in their pockets. You get their advanced weaponry you know nothing about without knowing if there's a catch."

"But what I'm mostly concerned with is people being smart with the dangerous weapons they can now get easily and cheaply. The note is a warning to be smart. As I already explained." Batman was like a terrible doctor. He was losing some patience.

Mike gave Batman a critical look. "...You think they sabotaged the guns," he realized. "I just thought the money in their pockets was the catch, and decided I could live with that."

He mulled that over for a moment, and then shrugged and stood up. "Well, it's been a pleasure to meet you. I can tell it hasn't been as delightful for you, and I'm sure you have important superhero things to be doing, and so I'll be on my way."

"Be safe out there," Batman suggested.

Mike turned to give Batman a sour look, and then shrugged. "You, too."

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The Perk, Sunday morning

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