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Furnado Animal Shelter, Wednesday

April happened to think that New Year's was about as stupid as holidays got, but it was a reason to down a bunch of beers and make Ben and Derek Skype her from The Bulge. She'd still wound up calling it a night early, and when she woke up in the new year, she didn't feel so lazy or hungover that she felt the need to take a day off.

Anyway, being at work today was probably a good idea strategically - she could take advantage of people's new year's resolutions. She powered on the desktop and typed up a sign.

be a better person this year and adopt an animal in need

It was a dick move, but she'd be shocked if it didn't get her any business.

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And then there was a puppy (http://rlv.zcache.com/darling_samoyed_puppy_card-r8d0280bd18cf4f179a4a28bc520a8021_xvuak_8byvr_512.jpg) in April's hands. When had she even had time to unlock the cage? It didn't matter.

The puppy yipped.

"I think he likes you," she informed Ron, stepping toward him. Ron wasn't quite in danger of being attacked with puppy cuteness just yet, but it was a near thing.

Ron released a loud sigh. "I am done here," he stated. "And you know I don't plan to buy a dog."

"You don't buy shelter dogs, you adopt them," April corrected him reflexively. "But you should--"

And then the puppy seized an opportunity and licked Ron's mustache.

April honestly hadn't been planning for that, and her reaction was one of shock and, to be honest, delight.

Ron stood very, very still as the puppy practically devoured his mustache.

He did not look amused. Not at all.

April's first reaction was to clamp a hand over her mouth so she didn't start giggling, but unfortunately she was still holding the puppy, so that was out.

"There might be, uh, food crumbs in there," she said, doing her very best to maintain a straight face.

"Remove the dog," Ron ordered.

Not a muscle in his face had moved - except for his mouth.

April took enough steps back that the dog was removed.

She pretended to be listening to the dog in her hands for a second, then looked back at Ron and reported, "He says thanks for the affection."

"There is drool in my mustache," Ron said simply.

"The fish place up the street might have napkins," April suggested.

Ron considered that for a moment.

"Never repeat that," he said finally, "Or I will be very angry."

Oooh. Threats.

"You got it," April promised.

This was one-time-only obnoxiousness. Call it a New Year's gift.

"You're probably more of a cat person anyway."

Hush, April.

Ron looked offended. "Cats are useless," he said. "They contribute absolutely nothing."

"So what's your spirit animal, then?" she drawled.

She hoped it was an animal they had here in the store, but she figured it would probably be a bear or something.

"Don't be ridiculous," Ron drawled. "There is no such thing as 'spirit animals'. Or 'yoga'."

Tell that to the island, Ron. It thought you were a bald eagle.

"Favorite animal, then."

"That is private information," Ron said, because he was... Ron. "Which I do not believe in sharing."

"But it's not this guy," she said, holding up the puppy once more.

Tsk, Ron. This puppy was hella cute.

"No."

It had licked. His mustache.

His mustache, April.

"Most certainly not."

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Furnado Animal Shelter, Wednesday

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