The park, Saturday

[sharp_as_knives]

The weather wasn't too bad today, and the clouds were giving some really interesting lighting, so Hannibal hauled a new canvas out to the park to work. He had decided upon watercolors for this one, and had them spread out next to him, along with some mineral water, fruit, and sandwiches.

He was sitting on a plaid blanket over a tarpaulin, his easel low, idly taking in the day as he began. His iPod played a bit of Stravinsky through his headphones at a volume low enough not to be distracting.

This wasn't France, but it wasn't a bad place at all.



[OOC: Open park and post! No OCD.]

Comments

[14andseven]

Roland Chapman, performance artist, was out in his usual force. His robot hull was freshly polished -- okay, freshly painted silver, that was all part of the statement, okay? -- and his voice was all warmed up for making proper robot beeping noises.

A cardboard robot would make an excellent addition to a watercolor painting, right?

[sharp_as_knives]

Hannibal gave the cardboard robot a bit of a side-eye and waved a paintbrush at him. Not exactly the best street performance he'd ever seen, but he supposed there were points for originality.

[14andseven]

Roland waved back mechanically and beeped a greeting at Hannibal.

[sharp_as_knives]

Hannibal looked him over even more skeptically. "What are you supposed to be, a trash can?"

[14andseven]

"I. AM. A. ROBOT," Roland said, in his excellent robotic monotone. "OB.viously. . . ."

[sharp_as_knives]

"Ah." Hannibal mixed a few colours, trying to get just the right shade of teal. "Metropolis robot or Blade Runner robot? Or that trash-can thing from Space Battles?"

[14andseven]

Roland didn't have an answer prepared for that question. But as a skilled performance artist, he wasn't about to let that stop him.

"NONE. OF. THE. ABOVE. I. AM. MY. owwwwwn ROBOT."

Ha. Existential. That was art, baby.

[sharp_as_knives]

Hannibal was unimpressed. "So what's your purpose, then?" He started with a wash of colour for the sea.

[14andseven]

"TO. GET. Funkyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy." Roland started to do -- you'll love this -- the robot.

Art!

[sharp_as_knives]

Hannibal snorted. "If that's your version of funky, it's about thirty years out of date," he pointed out.

[14andseven]

"THE. TERM. YOU'RE. LOOKING. FOR. IS. vintaaaaaaage."

[sharp_as_knives]

Hannibal screwed up his face as if thinking about it for a moment, then shook his head. "No. I'm pretty sure the term is 'dated'. So, why are you a robot?"

[14andseven]

"WHY. ARE. YOU. A. Huuuuuuman?"

[sharp_as_knives]

Hannibal laughed. "Pretty sure I didn't have a choice, my parents being human. So were your parents robots then?"

He was still idly laying down paint, but this was turning out to be rather fun.

[14andseven]

Well, Roland was pretty good at improv. You had to be, when you performed on the street.

"DO. YOU. MEAN. MY. Creaaator?" he asked. "ROBOTS. DON'T. HAVE. parents."

[sharp_as_knives]

"Naturally." Hannibal rolled his eyes. "And your creator couldn't afford anything better than silver cardboard?"

[14andseven]

"YOU. MOCK. MY. FORM?" Roland demanded. "IT. IS. A. CLEVER. Disguiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiise."

[sharp_as_knives]

Yeeeaaaaaah...that got Roland a really dubious look. "A disguise for what? Let me guess," he waved his paintbrush, "you're trying to look so incredibly incompetent that nobody would suspect you of actually being an actor?"

Hannibal Lecter: Not a cannibal, definitely a troll.

[14andseven]

"YOU. UNDER. ESTIMATE. ME," Roland said, adding little whirring noises as he moved his arms in a roboty V of triumph. "THAT. WILL. DO. NICELY. IN. THE. ROBOT. Uprisiiiiing."

[sharp_as_knives]

Hannibal nodded and leaned closer. "Good luck with that uprising. Best hope it doesn't rain."

[14andseven]

Roland flailed mechanically. "HOW. DID. YOU. KNOW. OUR. ONE. WEAKNESS?!"

[sharp_as_knives]

"I'm a genius," Hannibal answered dryly. "And you're cardboard."

[14andseven]

"CALCULATING. PROBABILITY. THAT. YOU. WILL. BE. FIRST. AGAINST. THE. WALL. WHEN. THE. UPRISING. COMES," Roland said. "BEEP boop beep beep beep boop boop BEEP BEEP BEEP boop boop boop. . . ."

This might go on like this for awhile.

[sharp_as_knives]

"I don't do marketing," Hannibal answered dryly. But he did read just about everything.

[14andseven]

"YES," Roland decided. "YOU. WILL. DEFINITELY. BE. Annihilated. . . ."

Then he pointed at Hannibal and went "pew! pew!"

[sharp_as_knives]

Giving him a look, Hannibal pointed energetically back at him.

Which was somewhat more impressive, given he was holding his paintbrush.

"Hm. A slight improvement," he said, eyeing the dark teal splatters all over the "robot".

[14andseven]

Well, Roland wasn't above using an interesting new prompt from his audience. "FZZZZZZZZZT," he said, flailing his arms jerkily. "SYSTEM. OVERLOAD."

[sharp_as_knives]

"I think the system lost it before you ever got here," Hannibal retorted.

[14andseven]

Well, everyone always brought their own meaning to art.

"FZZZZZZZZZZZZZZT," said Roland, flailing in a circle now. "OVERLOAD. OVERLOAD. oooover. looooooad."

He fell over backwards.

"shall. i. sing. a. sooooooooong. . . ."

[sharp_as_knives]

Hannibal gave him a slightly pained look. "That depends; can you carry a tune?" He paused in working on his canvas to flick another line of teal paint down the silver.

[14andseven]

This guy had better tip Roland so hard when he was done. He was ruining the costume, and Roland was still giving him the performance of a lifetime.

"daisy . . . daisy. . . ."

[sharp_as_knives]

Despite his general disdain of this robot act, Hannibal had to chuckle at that. "Nice," he acknowledged. For that, he got another paintbrush - this one with white and yellow, painting a quick impressionistic daisy on his chest.

[14andseven]

Roland made a last, staticky fizzling sound and went still.

Death scenes were the best.

[sharp_as_knives]

Hannibal took the opportunity to add a lily next to the daisy. "The ground is still damp, you know," he pointed out. "Unless disintegration of the robotic shell is intended to be part of the act."

[14andseven]

Roland didn't answer. He was dead, after all.

He did have a stash of extra cardboard at home, though. You didn't commit to a bit like 'cardboard robot' without emergency supplies.

[sharp_as_knives]

Hannibal shrugged and switched back to the darker paintbrush. He added a large placard as if it were hanging from the robot's neck: DO NOT DISTURB. Then he went back to his painting. At least dead the robot was quieter.