fandomtownies | JGOB, Friday Afternoon

Entry tags:

JGOB, Friday Afternoon

Listening to today's radio had led to some serious humiliation for one Kathy Li, codename: Social Justice Warrior. Her only comfort was that only Barry knew she was the SJW, and hopefully he would respect her secret identity enough not to tell everyone in school who the hero being made fun of on the radio actually was.

Okay, it was possible that the name didn't have the same universal appeal as she'd originally assumed when she'd decided on it. This might possibly require more thought before she made her Baltimore debut over the weekend.

For now though, she was going to surround herself with sugary sweets and do her Physics homework while she tried to live down the embarrassment of being made fun of over the radio. One couldn't worry about blows to one's teenage ego when there were physics equations to solve.

And chocolate to eat.

[Open!]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Oh god, Sparkle had an audition today. An audition for the summer camp thing that Dr. Lecter wanted him to take, and he'd been literally studying freaking monologues for months and who even liked monologues, right?

(Don't answer that.)

So clearly he needed some encouragement in the way of sugary sweets, maybe a blueberry danish or something with more chocolate than any one person should put into their face, or- Hello.

"Social Justice Mouse!"

Sorry, Kathy. The humiliation wasn't going anywhere any time soon.

Kathy was just going sink in her chair and hide behind her textbook. Whyyyyyy? Why was this happening to her? What had she done to deserve this?

"S'not my name," she mumbled to the pages in front of her.

"No? Could've fooled me!" Sparkle pulled up a chair for himself, turning around and sitting backwards in it, grinning broadly at her. "You putting in for a superhero name change yet, Mouse?"

Because, seriously, she could desperately use one.

Kathy hated Sparkle with every fiber of her being. Every. Fiber.

"If that person running around calling themselves Social Justice Warrior were me--and I'm not saying it is!--what's wrong with it? It's a good name!"

No it wasn't, Kathy. No it wasn't at all.

"Yeah, if you don't want to be taken seriously by anyone, ever," Sparkle replied, rolling his eyes and shaking his head. "Level with me, Mouse. You got the name on Tumblr, didn't you? You stole it right out of some thirteen-year-old's tags on Tumblr."

Kathy was not going to dignify that with an answer. Also, she was sixteen, not thirteen and they were her own tags.

"I'm surprised you even know what Tumblr is," she grouched back. "Aren't you, like, too punk or whatever for social media?"

"No," Sparkle replied with a dismissive shrug, "I'm too poor, SJW."

Suck it, Kathy. Your social justice was wired wrong.

"You know, you had a guy who is personally affiliated with the President talking about you on the radio this morning?"

Kathy at least had the grace to blush. "I'm just saying, you sound like you know all about Tumblr," she mumbled.

"And I know, don't remind me." She scrunched her eyes shut in remembered embarrassment. "Members of the government are making fun of me. Oh my god, why did I think this was a good idea?"

"Sure I do," Sparkle replied with a shrug. "Free porn so long as nobody's looking while I'm on the library computers."

Duh.

"Why did you think it was a good idea? Like, superheroing aside, because I'm sure there are a lot of people out there who'd be thankful for the rescue from a teenager wearing rainbows in a dark alley at night, why Social Justice Warrior?"

He was kind of suffering second-hand embarrassment here on your behalf, Kathy.

Hey now! The rainbows were canon!

"I...thought it was funny," Kathy admitted, slowly shredding a bear claw. "And I thought it was fitting. Like, I'm working for social justice in small ways, like protecting people from getting mugged and walking women home and making sure drunk people got cabs and stuff, so adding Warrior to the end of that made sense, but in a silly way. A funny way. And, yeah, a lot of SJWs online can be misguided and even downright wrong, but their hearts are often in the right place. I can't say I'm gonna be a great superhero. I mean, my power is bouncing, for goodness' sakes. But I'm doing it because I want to help people, regardless of how silly they might see me and my costume. So...it fit."

"I think," Sparkle offered, in his best attempt to be helpful, "that you accomplished 'funny' in probably the completely wrong way."

He could elaborate, or he could just let it sit at that, sparing her further humiliation.

"Anyway, you're already tearing yourself down, and that's fucking stupid. Ratguy's superpower is that he's got a lot of money and an unnatural affinity for sewer-dwelling rodents, and you better believe everyone takes him seriously. Plus, you know, it's not reminiscent of a whiny teen on the internet, which sort of defeats the whole point of trying to keep this thing a secret in the first place, doesn't it?"

Said Sparkle, loudly, in the middle of the pastry shop.

With Kathy looking around in despair and attempting to hide her face behind a napkin or something.

"Okay, but having the superpower 'incredibly wealthy with an R&D team crapping out new gadgets' is stupidly useful no matter what context you're in," Kathy pointed out. "Besides, I am a teenager. There's no way to hide that, unless I decide to pretend to be a preteen boy instead. Which, wow, might even be more humiliating than being called Social Justice Warrior."

There was a long pause there as Sparkle contemplated that possibility.

"... I dunno. That gi doesn't really do anything for your figure anyway."

Thank you, Sparkle.

"Thank you, Sparkle, for that scintillating commentary."

Sparkle gave his shoulders a shrug.

"Well? Isn't that the point? I mean, you're running around in a costume, wearing a mask, but you've picked out a name that is... for better or for worse, kind of obviously you to anyone who's ever spoken with you for more than like five minutes. Let me guess- Do you do a magical girl love and justice pretty soldier speech before you attack the bad guy, too?"

He figured he pretty much had Kathy figured out, here.

"I am well-aware that I'm not an anime character!" Kathy retorted, which, for those of you following along at home, was not actually a no.

She had, in fact, told a terrifying, man-eating creature, that she 'was bringing him to justice!' before fighting, so, y'know, Sparkle wasn't entirely off.

"Between this and the staples, Mouse..." Sparkle sighed, making a clicking sound with his tongue. "Okay, let's re-name you."

Yes, he was taking this upon himself as a service to humanity, and to justice, and even to Tumblr, without which none of this would be possible.

"I didn't say I was interested in changing my name!"

Pause.

"...What were you thinking of for an idea though?"

"Something way snapper than 'Social Justice Warrior,' maybe," Sparkle offered. He refrained from saying, 'duh.' "Like, you know how in the comics it always happens, when a hero names himself and then the press gets their hands on him and decides that it's a stupid-ass name, so they name the guy something they think is better? And than it's out of your hands, you're suddenly Captain Rainbowtits and there's no arguing with the media. You need to nip that shit in the bud."

Badly.

"So, what do you do when you're out there fighting crime? Just, like, pose at them and then ricochet off a few walls, or what?"

Edited 2014-06-13 21:26 (UTC)

"Well, I've been practicing using some of my gymnastics stuff to help," Kathy offered. "You'd actually be kind of surprised how easy it is to take people down when you come at them with a ribbon and superspeed."

"You use a ribbon," Sparkle deadpanned.

She used... a... ribbon...

Sparkle was starting to wonder if maybe 'Social Justice Warrior' really was the perfect hero name for her.

"Picture getting a ribbon around your neck while the person holding it is running faster than a car," Kathy snapped, seeing his expression. "I accidentally broke a training dummy once and I don't have super0strength, okay?"

"So, you actually want to kill people out there?"

Sparkle was now wearing a very different expression. It was actually a somewhat disturbed, disgusted one.

He scooted his seat back away from her a bit.

"No!" Kathy said, jumping up and knocking her drink over onto the table. "What are you crazy?! I meant that using a ribbon can be dangerous, not that I wanted to be the first rainbow-themes supervillain!"

She reached for some napkins to start mopping up the spill. "Jesus, Sparkle, what the hell!"

Kathy was so distressed she was using foul language!

Sparkle was flying up from his seat, too.

"You just told me to picture what happens when you fucking decapitate someone with a ribbon, Kathy," he barked back. "Seriously! The scenario you just spelled out for me? Whiplash if you're lucky!"

Sparkle kind of had murder-related feelings, given all of that killing and/or eating people he'd done over the course of this past year.

"I was just making you realized that I wasn't, like, throwing hair ribbons at someone and expecting them to stop!" Kathy protested. "We have to learn ribbon safety when we start gymnastics or you could get really hurt!"

"And do they factor in 'flying around at the speed of a fucking car' when they teach you that, too?"

Sparkle did not think gymnasts tended to have superpowers, but what did he know?

"You might as well scream, Banzai! and drop in all kamikaze on their asses while you're at it!"

"Well, you'd be surprised how fast you go when you're hurtling through the air," Kathy said, thinking about the speeds she'd gotten up to just jumping off the parallel bars, "...but that's not important. And why do you think I've been practicing here, with training dummies? Because I like getting yelled at from secret warehouses and spied on by squirrels?"

She threw the sodden napkins down on the table.

"If I wanted to be a danger to myself and others, I'd be out there already!"

"From what radio's been telling me, you already have been, Mouse."

Want to refute that one, too, Kathy?

"Anyway, we're getting off topic. You want to play with ribbons, knock yourself out, take off a few heads, whatever floats your boat. Your name still sucks."

"You mean when I was ambushed by a crazy monster thing?" Kathy asked. "How was that even my fault?!"

"I dunno... Sounded to me like you were trying to play with the thing."

Of course, she'd been insane at the time. Though he couldn't help but notice she'd kept the stupid name.

Well, she'd picked out the name before she'd been crazy!

"Right! Because a fight with a literal, honest-to-god monster as reported by drunken squirrels is true in every facet and detail! That's...that's crap, Sparkle! Utter crap!"

"Coming from somebody who proudly named herself the Social Justice Warrior, I'm inclined to take the word of the squirrels, Mouse."

And the wasn't a single person on the island who would blame him, was there?

"Fine then," Kathy said, slouching back into her seat. "Just believe that I'm some kind of murderous maniac who baits monsters for fun and has a stupid name. What do I even care?"

Sparkle sighed, slouching down into his own chair.

"I don't think you're some kind of murderous crazy bitch. That's why I was so fucking horrified. You're just... I dunno. New. If I wound up with crazy bouncing powers, I'd be out there doing so much stupid shit. You're gonna get yourself killed or something, and then I'm going to be so pissed off at you. Don't do that."

... "Mouse."

"Again with the practicing," Kathy said, accepting the unspoken apology. "If I'd just run out to Baltimore when I'd first gotten my powers, I probably really would have hurt someone. That's why I'm running around here, trying to learn as much as I can." She held up her homework, mercifully free of coffee stains. "I'm even taking physics, so I have a better idea of how to calculate stuff out. I've put a lot of thought into this."

She set her homework aside and looked up at Sparkle again. "Except for the name, I guess."

"The staples weren't such an awesome idea, either," Sparkle noted, though it came with a little twitch of a smile. "See, that's why you have to tolerate having a jerkass like me around. Who's gonna make sure you don't get stabbed in the ass by your own uniform, huh?"

He drummed his fingers on the back of the chair.

"Look, I wasn't supposed to be here this long. I have an audition I've got to get to all the way the hell out in DC and," he peered up at the clock on the wall, "my portal there leaves in like fifteen minutes."

Because like hell he'd take the bus, thanks. 'Faster' was far more his speed.

"But if you wanna, like, throw around better names or something..."

He could use the moral support, himself. He was trying not to let show how nervous he was, but now that he was back on the topic, he'd developed a fidget.

"Nah, I've got a bunch of homework to do," Kathy said, before she looked up. Noticed the fidget. Saw the strain lines around Sparkle's eyes. Saw the unconscious way he kept licking his lips.

Realized that he really could use the moral support.

Before he had a chance react to that at all, she gave him a huge grin and wadded up the last clean napkin at the table to throw it at him. "I'm messing with you," she said. "I'm always up for a portal into DC. That sounds like way more fun than doing physics homework on a Friday night."

The napkin bounced off of Sparkle's forehead, and he sat there blinking for a half-second before his brain caught up to what had just happened.

"... Yeah? Yeah. I mean, you have the rest of the weekend to do homework, too, right? And it's DC. I'm Canadian, I navigate in metric. I'd get my sorry ass lost or something." Sure, that was how it worked. "Want anything before we go, Mouse?"

That name was becoming so much less a taunt and so much more an endearment every time they spoke.

"Please, I'm only going to make sure you don't try to burn down the White House," Kathy sniffed. Funny, she found herself minding the nickname less every time he used it anyway. "I mean it is Canada's one claim to fame, right? That time we let you win?"

She gathered up her books and papers. "Can we stop by my room real quick? I just want to drop this stuff off. If we decide to sightsee after you rock your audition, I don't want to lug this stuff around."

Sparkle glanced up at the clock again, and then nodded.

"Yeah, I think there's time. Um. We might end up having to run for it, but that's good, right? Adrenaline helps with this sort of thing?"

It was really to Sparkle's credit that he had been reaching for pastries rather than alcohol, but he didn't want to risk brainfarting in the middle of a monologue. This wasn't an opportunity he figured he'd get again. He didn't want to blow it.

"Why don't you stay and get a nice herbal tea or something," Kathy suggested. "It'll keep your throat hydrated and stuff. Besides, I'm faster without you. I'll meet you back here in 10?"

She could make the trip faster, but this way she had time to change really quickly, too.

"Oh, and Sparkle? You're gonna be great."

"Yeah, that remains to be seen," Sparkle replied in an easy laugh, the relief clear on his face. "Okay then. I'll tea, you lose the homework, and then we can see what kind of ass I can make of myself while still having the directors think that's exactly what I meant to do."

It was one of Sparkle's stronger skills. He'd probably do fine.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

JGOB, Friday Afternoon

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject