The Perk, Sunday afternoon

[vdistinctive]

Eliot had never been quite so happy to be hungover. Well, okay. Not so much happy about the hangover part. But the stuff that had led to this hangover? Parker had very enthusiastically shown Eliot and Hardison that being women could be pretty awesome, yesterday. And last night. And into the early morning. The process had involved not a little bit of liquor. Especially to get Eliot into a miniskirt.

Which he was not wearing in public, thank you very much. He was, in fact, dressed basically like he normally would be, only with the addition of a sports bra. And with his button down left open over his undershirt, because apparently shirts hadn't yet been invented that didn't gape over breasts any bigger than Parker's. He'd skipped the belt, since letting his pants hang on his hips instead of his waist made them actually long enough, and the pair of flipflops Parker had picked up finished off the whole weird sexy-schlub ensemble.

He knew it was sexy because the baristas kept flirting him. He ordered his usual coffee and tried to remember which ones of them were usually men.

[Open!]

Comments

[sharp_as_knives]

While Jono was working, Hannibal wandered the city; he was curious to see what some of the men looked like today. And the coffee shop seemed a good place to people-watch. (Not to mention that so long as the beans were decent, it was difficult to make coffee so badly it was undrinkable. Not impossible, but difficult.)

He was dressed in a very well-tailored and fashionable pant suit with slightly heeled boots. He smiled at the baristas and ordered a double espresso, then looked around as he waited.

[vdistinctive]

"Afternoon, Dr. Lector," Eliot greeted. (Hannibal's was a very distinctive sense of style.) "How's your weekend goin'?"

[sharp_as_knives]

"Mr Spencer." Eliot might not have a very distinctive style himself, but Hannibal recognized the shirt and the accent. "I see this weekend has graced you nicely. You're even slightly taller, I think."

[vdistinctive]

Eliot snorted. "Gosh, doc, thanks for noticin'." He nudged one of the chairs at his table out with his foot as an invitation. "I'm guessin' you didn't run out yesterday to get yourself a tailored pantsuit."

[sharp_as_knives]

Hannibal picked up his cup and came to sit. "Too many people noticing?" he guessed. "And yes, not only have I had this happen before, but I spent a little over a month as a female version of me last year. It made it easy to be prepared. How are you and Mr. Hardison doing?"

[geniuswithasmartphone]

That looked like something Sophie would wear. Once Eliot had greeted Hannibal by name, Hardison held up his phone. "You mind if I take a picture of your outfit?" he asked. "We got a friend who'd love it--if she didn't already have somethin' pretty similar in her giant closet."

Hardison wasn't putting bets that she didn't. But he figured she'd appreciate the thought anyway, even if she did.

[sharp_as_knives]

"Not at all." Hannibal set his cup down and smoothed his shirt before standing still. "Mr. Hardison, I take it? How are you this weekend?"

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"The one, if not the same, entirely," he said, quickly snapping the picture and sending the text off to Sophie. "Though guessin' my identity ain't all that difficult, I'm guessin'." There were a limited number of minorities on the island; add Eliot to the mix and it removed whatever uncertainty there might have been. "I woulda needed to hear you speak 'fore I guessed who you were. Unlike some folks, I can't ID someone by their very distinctive walk, haircut, or whatever else he uses."

[sharp_as_knives]

Hannibal chuckled. "It wasn't too difficult, no. I understand this is the first event of this magnitude the island has chosen to throw at you?"

[worstofalltime.livejournal.com]

Wash was not nearly as okay with the change he woke up with. If only because now his armor pinched at the wrong spots because it wasn't adjusted with a female frame in mind like some of the other agents' armor had been.

Not that you'd notice the difference from the outside, but there certainty was one on the inside.

Hence him not even being able to hide in the armor for his caffeine run. He gave any other women he saw a vaguely suspicious look in case he should know who they were.

[vdistinctive]

The look Wash was giving the place could be for any number of reasons, but there were enough other clues for Eliot to have a reasonable guess who this particular woman was.

"Agent Washington, I presume?"

[worstofalltime.livejournal.com]

Was it the blonde hair and fact that he was still armed? Because, you know.

Wash sighed in annoyance. "You guessed right. Congratulations."

[vdistinctive]

"What can I say? You're a distinctive presence." Eliot shouldn't feel smug at Wash's discomfort. It was rude, and besides which, it wasn't as though Eliot himself was enjoying being woman-shaped. "Grab a seat and try to relax, man. Pretty sure nobody's gonna attack, this weekend."

Half the population was too busy trying to deal with new bodies, and the other half was probably to busy gloating.

[worstofalltime.livejournal.com]

Washington gave him a look before accepting his coffee from the barista and walking over.

"You say that now."

[geniuswithasmartphone]

Sharing Eliot's table (and the occasional sex-stupid smile), Hardison was still blinking sleepily into his coffee. Look, he hadn't had Eliot's alcohol tolerance even before he'd lost a foot of height and a corresponding amount of muscle mass. Also, the next time Eliot complained about Hardison not getting enough exercise, he was just going to remind him of this past weekend and grin. Some more.

Yes, he was ridiculous and he didn't even care. There had been a day of great sex, a lot of booze, and now he was drinking good coffee. And looking cute, because unlike some people he couldn't wear his usual clothing this weekend. So he was wearing the tank top and a cute floral skirt that Parker had grabbed for him and finding himself not particularly fussed about wearing either. Maybe he just wasn't as hung up on gender conformity as he'd always assumed. Maybe he was just too tired and happy to care. Whatever. He was goddamn adorable this weekend, all short and brightly colored.

"Pretty sure the one givin' you those bedroom eyes is named Brent," he told Eliot with a good-natured grin. Because, you know his boyfriend future husband partner was totally gonna care about that.

[vdistinctive]

"Yeah?" Eliot asked, looking at the baristas again. "Is he cute as a guy, too?"

Not everyone could have turned out to be just as adorable male or female as Hardison was, right?

[geniuswithasmartphone]

No. No they could not. Hardison's adorableness was a special blessing from the lord and all his little angels, dammit.

"Nah," Hardison said, though quietly so as to not hurt Brent's feelings. "He's workin' it way better as a girl. His haircut's better an' he ain't poppin' his collar like a punk today."

[vdistinctive]

"Ah, that Brent," Eliot said. "Wonder how many folks tried to call out this weekend 'cause they were missin' important bits."

Eliot didn't normally go in to the diner on the weekend anyway, but he was definitely planning to avoid showing up as a woman, if at all possible.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"Only on this island, man," Hardison sighed. "Could you imagine tryna pull off a con like this? I mean, talk about unbreakable covers. An' it wouldn't really affect me much, but..."

It still seemed like a terrible idea.

[whoisalicewhite.livejournal.com]

Parker bopped in a little later with another bag under her arm, and dropped a kiss on Hardison's head before settling in between him and Eliot, giving them both grins. "Having fun? Fallen over anything yet?" The switch in balance was amusing from her point of view.

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"You laugh, mama, but just wait till it happens to you," Hardison warned. "Then we'll see how easy of a time you have of it. Try climbin' around in your vents when you're a half a foot taller an' your center of balance is all wonky an' you weight is all off."

[whoisalicewhite.livejournal.com]

"Nooooooooooooo." Yeah, if that happened, Parker might be getting out the explosives to deal with it. "It won't do that to me! The Island likes me!" She looked around as if expecting a sign, then sighed and pressed her forehead to Hardison's. "Sorry?"

[geniuswithasmartphone]

"No worries, mama," Hardison said, slinging an arm over her shoulder. "It just means you get two really hot girlfriends for the weekend who sometimes stumble over their own feet." He nudged her. "You okay? I know that it messes with you when people change around you."

[vdistinctive]

"Don't worry, darlin', I been catchin' him when he falls."

Eliot was doing okay now so long as he was just walking or running. Make him fight or carry someone, and then they'd see just how much he still hadn't adapted.

[whoisalicewhite.livejournal.com]

"Of course you did." Parker grinned at him, and pulled out the CD, leaning closer. "Do you have this one?" Ella Fitzgerald's face smiled up from the cover.