Fandom Streets [Saturday Evening]

[umbitch.livejournal.com]

Did you really think Dolores Jane Umbridge was going to arrive in something as insipid as a portal? It was not going to happen. That way of travel was for her inferiors, the people she liked to step on with the heel of her crushed rose petal pink shoes.

Umbridge had arrived and was out on the streets, alone. It was funny how stupid this town still was, putting everyone together in one location like that didn't make it such an easy target. But, Umbridge wasn't going to approach. She knew she'd be recognized and she wanted to have a little fun before disappearing once again.

Her wand was tucked inside her skirts, easily reachable should anyone try anything ridiculous. She didn't know how many people would actually realize who she was but she wasn't hiding. She was walking the streets, head up, chin high.

Like she owned this town.

Because she did.

[Umbriiiiiiiiiiiiidge. Open, of course. She'll spell you if you want or just be a creepy cat plate loving former headmaster too!]

Comments

[yakkoyaks.livejournal.com]

Well, she expected people to try something ridiculous....

"Hi! You look like human cotton candy. Do you have any non-human cotton candy to spare? PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE..... [gasp gasp gasp] EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE?"

Where did Yakko even come from?

[umbitch.livejournal.com]

Wherever he came from, Umbridge wasn't going to pay him much mind. She sneered and shook his head, dismissing him with a flick of her wrist.

"I do not," she told him. "Go elsewhere to find what you need."

[yakkoyaks.livejournal.com]

"But you're the only lead I have on cotton candy," Yakko whined, going full sad puppy eyes, pleading on his knees while he somehow kept pace with Umbridge. "Please, I'll starve if I don't have some! Just as soon as I finish this obscenely large bag of candy." Yakko was suddenly on his feet, pulling a giant sack from somewhere behind his back, and shoveling candy into his mouth by the handful. "Want any?"

[umbitch.livejournal.com]

"No," she snapped, glaring down at this rodent. "Leave me now or suffer the consequences. I do not have what you need nor will I ever."

[yakkoyaks.livejournal.com]

"Ooh, what kind of consequences do you have?" Yakko said, tossing the candy away. "Can you turn me into an animal? I've aways wanted to be a frog! See?"Yakko jumped into the air and landed ... looking a lot like a giant black frog with a weirdly expressive face. "Ribbit!" Yakko said. Not like a frog, but like a person saying 'Ribbit."

[umbitch.livejournal.com]

Tiring of this vermin, Umbridge rolled her eyes and just moved past him. She had far more important things to do in this town than listen to one of its insane inhabitants.

[vaguelyretired.livejournal.com]

As pleasant as it was to see so many people at the reunion get-together, it didn't take long before Minerva needed some air, and stepped out for a nice walk. At least, it was a nice walk until she turned the corner and noticed who else was there. "Oh for heaven's sake. Is this what the portals are delivering now?"

[umbitch.livejournal.com]

There were few things that could turn Umbridge's mood more than the sound of Minerva McGonagall's voice. She turned slowly, glowering in McGonagall's direction.

"I was invited," she said sharply, staring at the witch from the short distance separating them. "What are you doing here? Did Dumbledore let you off your leash?"

[vaguelyretired.livejournal.com]

"No, I was invited as well. I was in charge of the school for a short time while the principal was... indisposed." In space, or something strange like that. "Why do you suppose you were invited?"

[umbitch.livejournal.com]

"Does the great Minerva McGonagall have the answer?" Umbridge said, laughing ruefully. "I never thought I'd see the day."

Umbridge took a few steps closer, her heels clicking hollowly on the street.

"Obviously, I'm needed here," she said, keeping her hands down at her sides for the moment. "Dumbledore made a grave mistake when he dismissed me and his mistake was this island's gain. I'm here to right this awful place."

[vaguelyretired.livejournal.com]

"The only awful thing I see about this place is standing in front of me," Minerva said. "This island functions quite well, and has no need of you. I think you'll find the citizens more difficult to control than the Ministry."

[not_every_mage]

Anders had noticed the island had a lot more people on it than usual, but it didn't seem to be anything worth worrying about. He hummed aimlessly to himself as he returned to the dorm from some minor errand, staff firmly strapped to his back. He was about to run into Umbridge when he realized the course he was on and righted himself.

"Sorry," he said. "Almost didn't see you."

[umbitch.livejournal.com]

Umbridge looked at Anders with enough disdain to turn most people to stone. She paid no mind to the staff, having not seen anything similar to it back where she'd come from.

"Keep your eyes open, then, young man," she chided haughtily. "I won't be as nice if this happens again."

[not_every_mage]

Anders gave her a distinctly annoyed look right back. "Is that the way you always sound when you're being nice?" he asked. "You might need to work on it."

[umbitch.livejournal.com]

"I suggest you move on, boy, before I stop feeling as nice as I am now," she told him sharply. "I'm not here for you or your pathetic ilk."

[not_every_mage]

Anders knew he should turn and walk away. That would be the sensible thing to do. Roll his eyes at the crazy woman, go home, and have a peaceful afternoon reblogging cat gifs on Tumblr, or whatever.

But he had never been very good at being sensible, especially not when he felt insulted by an authority figure (and this woman clearly fancied herself one; it radiated off her). "Excuse me," he said, ice in his tone. "What would my 'pathetic ilk' be?"

[locointhecoco]

Pinkie trotted by, singing to herself.

"Hihihi!" she greeted with a wave. "I like your outfit!"

[umbitch.livejournal.com]

Umbridge opened her mouth to throw a barb at Pinkie before she stopped and stared, wide eyed. Was that a pony? It wasn't the strangest thing she'd ever seen but her surprise was definite.

"Thank you," she snipped sharply. "You've good taste."

[locointhecoco]

"Thanks!" Pinkie returned cheerfully. "I get it from my bestest pony friend Rarity, back home. Are you a former teacher here?"

Pinkie could get along with anypony -- so long as she didn't know how terrible and cruel they were to everypony else.

[umbitch.livejournal.com]

"Former headmaster," she corrected proudly. "My tenure was regrettably cut short but I hope to change that this weekend."

[locointhecoco]

"Oh gosh!" Pinkie gasped. "That's terrible!"

A beat.

"I didn't even know the school had headmasters."

[lovesrenoir.livejournal.com]

And sitting in a tree was a familiar.... thing. What was this guy anyway?

"UM-BRIDGE! UM-BRIDGE!"

[umbitch.livejournal.com]

Umbridge knew that voice. She knew that voice and she hated that voice with an insane passion. She shut her eyes like maybe the voice would vanish but when it didn't, she turned and looked up.

"What are you doing up there, vermin?" she asked. "Didn't I dismiss you?"

[lovesrenoir.livejournal.com]

Animal made a hacking coughing noise and a chewed up invite was spat out where it landed near Umbridge'a feet.

"PAR-TAY! PAR-TAY!"

Looks like Umbrisge wasn't the only one with an invite.

[umbitch.livejournal.com]

Umbridge stepped back quickly, looking down at the invitation in disgust. He was lucky it hadn't gotten on her shoes.

"They invited you?" she asked, disdain lacing each and every word. "They must have been desperate for attendees. I warn you, I'm more than willing to expel you in more permanent ways this time."