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Luke's, Monday

Eliot opened the door to the manager's office this morning only to be nearly crushed by an avalanche of fresh picked apples.

"The busboy went apple picking this weekend," the cook said.

"Don't worry," said the dishwasher, "we've already forbidden him to ever pick fruit ever again."

Eliot rubbed the bridge of his nose, sighing heavily. "Okay," he said. "But why did you put them in the manager's office?"

The kitchen staff all blinked at him blankly a few times, then simultaneously pointed accusing fingers at each other. Eliot sighed again. One of these days he was really just going to have to fire them all.

Today's specials
Apple cranberry stuffed pork roast
Butternut squash apple soup
Apple cranberry currant crumble pie

Luke's was open.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Might we suggest something with apples? They're very fresh. Only slightly bruised!

He loves apples. But not when they try to crush him.

There were still a few apples rolling around on the floor when Kathy came into the diner. She gave them a confused look before making her way to the lunch counter to sit.

"Hey, Eliot," she said, unpacking her laptop. "I know it's not on the Special's Board, but could I just gets a few Mediterranean omelettes? With a side of turkey bacon, please?"

At least one person in Eliot's life didn't require bribing to eat healthily.

She had no idea how much he appreciated that. "Sure thing, darlin'." Eliot scribbled the order down on his pad and passed it on to the kitchen. (They might basically be a bunch of Shakespearean level fools, but they did usually do their jobs, at least. . . .) "How you doin'? Haven't had a chance to check in with you in a little while."

"I'm doing a lot better, thanks," Kathy said, tucking her hair behind her ear. "I was Homecoming Queen, did you hear? Well, I was one of them. There were three of us."

Three queens in a class of five girls, so Kathy hadn't exactly won by a landslide or anything.

"And I finished off all my college apps, which is nice. I just, umm, need my letters of rec and I can send them off." She gave him a small smile. "Do you think you could maybe have mine done by Thanksgiving? Is that enough time?"

"I did," Eliot confirmed. "Hardison and I were chaperonin', actually. Nice to know your classmates have the good taste to elect ya." Even if it was in a three-way tie. "By Thanksgiving should be plenty of time." For Hardison to find samples or something for Eliot to follow and figure out what the hell a letter of recommendation was supposed to say. "Sounds like things are goin' well for you."

Hardison would like to point out that Google existed even when he wasn't present, Eliot.

"Most stuff, yeah," Kathy agreed. "I got a nasty cold last week that kept me down pretty hard. Which meant that last night was the first time I got to go out and patrol in almost a month." She frowned, poking at her laptop a bit. "What is it about gangsters and mafiosoi that require them to have weird nicknames, huh? Are they worried no one will notice them if they just go by 'Paul' or 'Sam' or 'Alexei'?"

Yeah, but when Eliot googled he just ended up finding weird porn.

"Kinda, yeah," he said with a small shrug. "It's all about havin' a rep. Guys like that want to have a name that will make people immediately react, not sit around tryin' to work out which Paul or Sam or Alexei they are. Ain't just mafia types, either. I say 'Jane Canary,' and most folks won't know who I'm talkin' about, but 'Calamity Jane' is a folk hero who's story has persisted more'n a century."

"I nearly borrowed clothes from her, I know who she is now," Kathy said, flashing Eliot a smile before turning back to her laptop. Parts of that sim had been...emotional...but enough time had passed for it to be mostly silly.

"But still, most of those names are so overwrought," she said, telling Google to translate the webpage she was looking at into English. "I mean, the Butcher of Kiev? Really? I'd dismiss him altogether but he's worked every petty criminal in Baltimore into a tizzy."

Eliot dropped the silverware he'd been organizing with a clatter. "The Butcher's in Baltimore?"

He didn't wait for Kathy to answer. He just grabbed the nearest weapon to hand -- a steak knife -- and started for the door.

Edited 2015-11-09 19:28 (UTC)

Kathy's surprised "You know him?!" was lost in the sound of falling silverware. Fortunately, she was faster than he was, so even the seconds she lost gaping at him from her stool didn't stop her from reaching the front door before he did.

She would be more comforted if the diner staff had reacted to this at all beyond glancing up, shrugging, and going back to their duties.

"Eliot! What are you doing?!"

Edited 2015-11-09 19:33 (UTC)

"The Butcher of Kiev ain't funny, Kathy," Eliot said, sidestepping her and reaching for the door. "I'm gonna go take care of the situation."

"With a steak knife?!" she insisted. "What are you going to do, wander up and down the streets of Baltimore calling for him to come out and play?! This is absurd, Eliot! My contacts say he's not even here yet!"

"Last time it was an appetizer." Eliot wasn't going to go easy on the man this time. "Who are your contacts? You sure their intel on this can be trusted?"

"Well, I don't see why it wouldn't be," Kathy said. "She was worried that the Butcher had gotten me, which was why she said it. I was asking why everyone had disappeared and she said that everyone was skipping town before the Butcher arrived. Apparently I've been a real thorn in the Ukrainians' side these past few months."

She couldn't help but smile at that. Look, Eliot! She was making a difference!

"The Butcher's comin' here specifically to take you out?!" Way to calm Eliot down, Kathy. He pulled out his phone and started -- rather slowly -- typing out a text message. "Stay out of Baltimore the next couple of days. I've got this covered."

Yeah, he knew that wasn't going to work. But it was worth a shot.

"Are you crazy?!" Kathy demanded. "No way! I have people to protect, especially if this Butcher guy is as big a deal as you're making him out to be." She shook her head. "Covered how? What are you doing? Who is this guy and why are you suddenly so up in arms over him?"

"Sounds to me like the people you're talkin' about are already clearing out of his way." Eliot took Kathy by the arms, picked her up, and set her down out of the way of the door. "This is my job, Kathy. Stay out of the way and you can get back to doin' yours when I'm done."

Kathy struggled, which did her absolutely no good against Eliot. His arms were like bands of iron. "Those aren't my people, Eliot!" she protested. "My people don't even know who this guy is! It's just the muggers, thieves, and drug dealers--those types--who know to get going while the going's good!"

Which wasn't to say she wouldn't fight for those people, too, but they weren't her priority.

He had no more than set her down then she was bouncing right back to where she'd been standing before, arms crossed and face set. Gonna move her again, Eliot? Cause she could do this all day.

No, but he was going to just start walking and trust her to get out of his way rather than be trampled. "And those people'll be just fine once I take care of things." His phone chimed, and he glanced down to see a reply from Shelley, confirming that the Butcher was no longer on his old stomping grounds in Europe. Hopefully Vance would be able to narrow it down better than that. "I ain't gonna let him hurt anyone."

Ha! If Eliot wanted her to not be trampled, he was going to have to not trample her, because she was standing her ground, resolutely not budging. Just remember, Eliot, you had a hand in making her this way. "Rather than running off half-cocked, you should tell me about this guy!" she said. "Give me intel! Something useful! Dammit, Eliot!"

Don't make Eliot get Parker involved, Kathy. Parker used tasers. "The only thing you need to know is to stay the hell out of his way. You ain't a match for him. Not yet."

And when he was done, she'd never need to be.

Kathy was confident that Parker wouldn't tase her. It may have been a misplaced confidence, but she had it.

"That's some bullshit, Eliot, and you know it! You said you took this guy out with an appetizer! And besides! I didn't become a superhero just to run away and hide behind my mentor when things got scary!"

"You got the survival instincts of an armadillo." Eliot shoved past Kathy and out the door. "You argue this much with your other teachers?"

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OOC