fandomtownies | Streets of Fandom near Turtle & Canary, Friday Morning

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dante

Streets of Fandom near Turtle & Canary, Friday Morning

Dante had had a real shitty night. And morning. So you know what? Dante needed some comfort food. Maybe a comfort drink. He hadn't decided yet.

Not that he got as far as he needed to for either. He was halfway down the block towards the grocery store when he first heard it-- the sound that made him pause. Snarling, not like a creature, but like a chainsaw. A real familiar chainsaw.

No bright lights. No limbo in the air. No twisting geometry. That? That was fucking weird. Still. He didn't need to turn around to see it. Instead, his shoulders squared, his feet steadied. The mark on his back glowed brightly. "Guess it's a day for trimming hedges," he said.

Then he spun, catching a mook demon's blade right across the edge of his sword. "Need a shave?" he snapped.

[[ open, and full of dmc-verse demons. ]]

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Know what else was fucking weird, Dante? Other people could finally see what you were going up against.

"Holy shit!" Kathy's giant mocha latte hit the ground, unheeded. What had started off as a quick jaunt to get much-needed caffeine after a night of horrible dreams had become a trip into a waking nightmare instead. "Dante, on your left!"

A doll with a razor blade looked like it was was contemplating giving Dante a haircut--around the vicinity of his neck.

"Woah!"

In the matter of a split second, Dante's reflexes kicked in, and he rolled out of the way. The demon's blade hit the ground hard.

Dante's sword came swinging around immediately, striking it in the midsection. "Kathy!"

Kathy's interference had been noted and two twisted cherub-things were throwing bombs at her in punishment. "Dante!" she yelped, ducking out of the trajectory of one bomb only to have another explode on impact with the ground not far from where she handed. She was lucky enough to be on the edge of the blast radius, but it still sent her flying.

She hit a wall, hard enough to make her grunt, but she bounced back, landing on her feet. "Fucking fuck?!" It was both an expression of pain and a request for more information if Dante had any. Another bomb came hurtling at her.

"Fuck this!" She launched herself at the closest critter. "Your holiday isn't for another two fucking months!"

She really needed to start carrying weapons on the island.

"They have a holiday?!" Dante yelled.

Okay, fuck it, flying things. He was getting his guns out. One quick hop and he was up in the air, firing full-barrel at one of them.

The ground was ignoring him again.

"These don't look like little deformed cupids to you?" Kathy retorted a few seconds later. Some people had to actually work to be able to get up off the ground for a bit.

Her finger closed around the ankles of the little flying critter and she yanked, using her momentum to hurl it down to the ground. Several seconds later, she landed on top of it, one foot crunching through its hollow belly.

"Okay, again, I have to ask. What the fucking fuck is going on here? Is this another invasion?"

"I have no fucking clue!"

Dante made a somersault in the air, landing straight on top of the Bathos feet-first. He lashed out with his sword a second later. "Just know I'm not in Limbo and there's fucking demons everywhere!"

"Wait, these are demons?" she asked, staring at the remains currently littering the street. "Like, your demons? But I'm not supposed to be able to see them, I thought!"

Was this some kind of weird portal gone wrong scenario? "Maybe a portal tried to snatch you but ended up sending them here inst--CHAINSAW!"

Dante spun around a half-second too late.

The chainsaw buried itself in his arm; he screamed.

Ebony dropped out of his hand and clattered onto the street.

So much blood. Oh god it was so much blood and for a second, she saw the cops from Limbo City, both of them, the one who had died in her arms and the one that had shot him. She could feel the blood spatter on her face, in her mouth, could taste it on her tongue. She wanted to duck, to scream, to hide, but no, it wasn't her screaming, it was Dante, he was in pain she had to help--!

Snatching up the gun, she raised it up and aimed it at the demon that was grinning in Dante's face. "GET AWAY FROM HIM YOU BITCH!" she screamed, and squeezed the trigger.

Absolutely nothing happened.

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!" she said, hitting the side of the gun. Was it jammed? Was it empty? Wasn't it supposed to at least click when it was empty? Frantically she looked at the back of the gun, trying to see if there were any rounds in the magazine--and couldn't even find where the magazine was supposed to go. The whole gun was one seamless whole.

While Kathy was fussing about the gun, Dante pulled himself right off of the chainsaw, trying to ignore the searing pain as well as he could. He stumbled when he came out the other side, first accidentally, then on purpose, trying to put distance between him and the Ravager.

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck..."

Kathy tossed the gun. Odds were poor that she would have been able to do much even if it had worked. With it...broken...or whatever, it served no purpose whatsoever. She couldn't even use it as a melee weapon because only a fool would get in that close.

Besides, she could act like a complete fool in plenty of other ways. Like darting between Dante and Chuckles the Chainsawing Clown.

"Back off," she said, glaring at the demon. "Just back the fuck up."

She hadn't been tossing it directly at him, but through some stroke of luck, Dante caught the gun. He swept Ivory back out a second later, locking both of them on the Ravager, letting the demon have it.

Didn't do much, besides making the Ravager take a step back, but at least it made him feel better.

Oh, right. It was a magic gun. Because that made sense.

The Ravager swung the chainsaw at Kathy, who flung herself to the ground to avoid getting the same treatment Dante had gotten just a few seconds ago. And while she had her face pressed to the road, she noticed--

"Hey, fucko!" she snarled, popping back up, one of the cherub's bombs in her hand. "Eat this!" And flung it straight at the Ravager's face.

She didn't stop to watch what happened there. That bomb had had maybe a few seconds at best remaining before it blew, so she was turning away and throwing herself at Dante to try to get them both out of the blast radius.

It made sense where Dante came from, okay? Or for Dante. Whatever. It was half the gun's magic and half Dante and... it wasn't important.

At least Kathy distracting the damn thing meant he had a second to let his shoulder regenerate. Shirt was gonna be a bust, though. Damn it...

...and that was as far as that train of thought went when he got an arm full of Kathy. "Hey--"

It was half the shock and half her crazy momentum that left him a couple of feet down from his original position.

Yeah, sure. 'Sense.' That was definitely what it made.

"Get down!" Kathy said. She even got most of that out before the bomb went off behind them.

"Fuck, Kathy!"

They were out of the blast radius, so Dante was fine, thanks. And up and moving as fast as he could fucking well manage. "That Ravager's still going!"

"Well maybe if I had a working gun, I could have done something better about that!" Kathy snapped, picking herself back up. They were out of bomb radius, but the change in air pressure was still strong enough to knock her over. "How's the arm? Better yet, how do we kill it?"

Why had she left her bag from Hunting 101 in her room? OH RIGHT BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T EXPECT TO RUN INTO DEMONS TODAY!

"You don't kill it," Dante snapped, "I kill it."

Guns back at his belt, he drew Rebellion from his back. "It's gonna keep coming," he said, as the thing glowed a bright gold and got its chainsaw all revved up. "Get outta the way!"

Kathy didn't hesitate. She might not like backing down from fights, but she also couldn't walk off chainsaw injuries like some people. And Dante knew demons a heck of a lot more than she did. So rather than arguing, she darted out from in between Dante and his target, keeping an eye out for anymore.

"This might be a skill you have to teach me," she called. "Because there might be more of these things around!"

Dante didn't answer. The Ravager had come running towards him, and he barely jumped up in time, leaping over the thing's head and twisting around.

Brought the sword up behind his back, charged it, let it rip, several slashes across the back that actually made the thing stagger, chased away the glow.

Okay, that had been fast. Maybe not as fast as Kathy herself could move, but still damn fast. Surprisingly fast. Terrifyingly fast.

"Keep hitting it!" she called--like he was going to do anything else, really--and dashed into T&C.

"What'd you think I was going to--"

That was all Dante got out, 'cause suddenly he had a chainsaw in his face. He dodged backwards, ignoring the pain in his shoulder, and struck the Ravager straight across the side.

It took longer than Kathy would have liked to make it back out and she was liberally spattered in blood when she did. But she at least she had proof that the tire iron she was currently brandishing was sturdy enough to stand up to a good bludgeoning. "You never mentioned that there are giant spider demons!" she called to him while looking for a good place to attack Chuckles from.

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Streets of Fandom near Turtle & Canary, Friday Morning

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