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Demon Marcus, Thursday

Still cold, still snow, and Ada was starting to wonder if spring or summer ever happened here, or if she'd just imagined it.

It was entirely possible the girl who always spent mid-November to March in Arizona didn't really understand how winter worked. At all.

She was at work anyway, with a few thermoses full of hot coco and sugary treats from JGoB. If you bought something, she might even consider sharing with you.

Demon Marcus was open for ~~OCD-Free!~~ business.

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"Hey," Dante called, as he shoved open the door and stepped inside. "If it isn't my favorite store clerk. What's up?"

He'd only just found out she worked here, and he was kinda fond of at least one other person who worked here, but eh.

"Your favorite?" Ada echoed, amused. "How can I be your favorite when you ain't come in when I'm workin' before? Maybe I'm terrible an' spend all my time makin' fun of the customers."

"I dunno," Dante said, coming up to the counter. "That sounds like fun to me."

"Well, you are pretty terrible too," Ada admitted, her heels kicking against the front of the counter as she sat atop it. "Maybe you're the terrible influence on me. I was a good girl before this school, I swear."

Ada Miller you are a goddamn liar.

She grinned and offered him the box of sugary goodness. "Donuts? Since I'm your favorite and all, I should share."

"See?" Dante said, and his fingers were already in the box and grabbing a donut at that very moment, "Totally awesome store clerk."

He took a bite. Mmm, sugar. "Not buying the good girl angle, though."

With a little boost of his hands, his butt wound up on the counter, too.

"No?" Ada looked disappointed. "Guess I ain't paying good enough attention in lying class. What gave me away?"

Besides the fact 1) she wasn't trying 2) Dante had known her for more than five seconds.

"You got a twinkle in your eye," Dante said, pointing in the general direction of her face. "Kinda get smirky, too."

"Don't think I can help the twinkle, I think it's part an' parcel of my eyes," Ada sighed. "But I'm gonna blame the smirk on donuts. Who ain't gonna be smug at having a box of donuts? Soulless, boring, horrible in the not-fun-way people, that's who."

She popped the last of her current donut in her mouth, and shook her head. "Can't trust someone who doesn't like donuts, that's all I'm saying."

"So I'm dough-ing good, is what you're saying," Dante said. "Cool."

He grabbed for another one.

Ada groaned. "That's a good one," she said approvingly as she licked powdered sugar from her fingers. "A bad good one. Good bad one? I gotta remember that."

"Puns are always good," Dante said sagely. "The worse, the better."

Or at least they amused him, which was good enough.

"And donuts are pretty easy. Try it."

"I donut know if I can manage," Ada said dryly as she grabbed another one. "Puns are a bearclaw of a trick to master."

Dante snickered, because yeah, he was just that easy. "So, really," he said, poking at a thermos nearby, "The weather got you going coco?"

Don't worry Dante, Ada doesn't mind that you're easy.

"It's cooooooooooold," she whined, scrunching up her face. "It ain't never got like this anywhere I've lived. We usually spend winter on the ranch in Arizona, an' we don't get snow. I thought it was made-up, like the other stuff on tv."

"So, yeah, coco..." Ada reached backwards to rummage under the counter for a moment before pulling out a bottle of peppermint schnapps. "But Sparkle stocks all kids a' mixers for when it's really cold. Or boring. Mostly boring."

"Drinking on the job, huh?"

Note that this terrible crime didn't exactly stop Dante from motioning for the bottle. "I've seen worse than this," he added. "Maybe don't go out in it when you've been drinking, but you'll live."

Hey, Ada wouldn't a pulled it out if she was unwilling to share.

"They wanted us to throw snowballs in class the other day, an' Ringo seems convinced I'll find it fun if I try it," she said dubiously as she passed it over. "Does it ever end?"

"If you're lucky, maybe in March," said Dante, sagely, like the East Coast boy he was. He took a swig from the bottle, because who was he to take his own advice, really? "Could be April. Or June. August?"

"I ain't never gonna be warm again," she sighed. "Not without a pile of blankets on my bed. Don't ya'll ever get sad not to see the sun?"

Dante shrugged. He passed the bottle back to her.

"Sun gets hot in summer," he said. "We get more than our share when it rolls back around."

"Yeah, but that's nice," she sighed wistfully. "I can run around in shorts and lay out on the roof."

She unscrewed a thermos of coco and dumped some of the schnapps in it. "So tell me then, East Coast City Boy. What else should I expect from living in Yankee territory?"

"Well, we don't get as much barbecue," Dante said lightly, "And we don't like to take our time. You done with that?"

Case in point.

"Greedy," Ada admonished. "'M already sharing my treats, donut you know how to be polite?" Your fault, Dante. You started it.

Still, she was grinning as she passed it back and took a sip of her nice warm boozecoco. "I can grill up a mean veggie burger, but you ain't gonna get no barbecue out of me. Sorry."

"Aw, c'mon, Ada, don't be such a nega-tarian," Dante sighed, bringing the bottle up to his mouth and taking a moment to appreciate it.

Or get a mouthful. One of the two.

"Which cow hurt you?"

"No cow hurt me, so I ain't gonna hurt a cow," she laughed. Well, that and meat seemed to make her scales spread, but details. "Though donuts beat up my cousin once..."

"Isn't there like, milk in donuts?"

What, it wasn't like Dante actually paid attention in Hannibal's class, except for when the free food came out.

"Just donut magic, I think," she decided. "B'sides, I'm vegetarian, not vegan. Milk's ok since milkin' a cow don't hurt it."

"Dunno," Dante mused. "Doesn't seem like a whole lot of fun, having someone pulling on your boobs until shit comes out."

Eloquent.

"Miss Adler always said it's not nice to judge," she said sweetly. "Bet the cow thinks you're pretty weird too."

"Hey, it's not the cows doing the pulling, right?" Dante said sagely.

"So how's it any different from a guy getting a hand-job, then?"

ADA. VERBAL FILTERS. USE THEM.

[Dear self, hit POST.]

"The cow didn't ask for it," Dante said, counting that one off on a finger, "Milk's better for you," that was finger two, "...and... nipples, not other parts ~~that's not the word he used but public comm~~." Finger three.

After a beat, he added, "Though I guess it's both milking."

Look who she was talking to, narrative.

The narrative was well aware of who Ada was talking to, and was mildly amazed that it took this long for their puns to get this bad.

"So milking cows is superior, because it at least has nutritional value," Ada decided. "B'sides, you'd think they'd kick or somethin' if they didn't like it. We usually got one or two on the ranch, and I don't think they've ever kicked no one, unless it was kids pulling their tails."

"Do cows even kick things? Like, ever?"

Dante was genuinely asking! He had no idea. Never seen one.

"Well, people kick if you do stuff they don't like," Ada pointed out. "Don't see why cows wouldn't do the same. They even got four legs to use, instead of two."

"Takin' care of them was never my job, though, but I could call and ask." See Ada. See Ada reach for another donut first instead of her phone. If she didn't, she ran the risk of Dante eating them all. "They're big and calm and kinda dumb. I don't think I ever seen anything upset them."

"They those big black and white ones?"

Dante reached over to grab another donut for, honestly, similar reasons to Ada's: he didn't want her to eat all of them.

Hey now, they were her donuts! She'd bought them using her own wallet and everything! DONUT BE GREEDY, DANTE!

"Yup, or brown and white. Big eyes and big ears," she agreed, miming the ears with her hands. "Some of 'em have tiny horns, too. Kinda funny-looking, if you think about it."

"Demon cows?" Dante suggested. "Man. Those would be easy."

"You wouldn't even need those guns of yours for demon cows," Ada laughed. "You could probably just walk up and push them over."

Ada, please don't encourage Dante to go Cow Tipping.

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Demon Marcus, Thursday

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