Caritas, Thursday

[wrongkindofsith]

The advantage of wearing close-fitting leathers the majority of the time was that it was remarkably difficult for ones clothes to blow away in the wind.

Unfortunately for, well, pretty much everyone at Caritas, Tino was not wearing equally clingy clothing. In every sense of the word.

"Find some clothes, now."

[Open, ocd free.]

Comments

[heroic_jawline]

"Find some for me too," Steve requested, blushing allllll the way down.

And since his shirt had blown away, leaving him with a jaunty pair of shamrock pasties, there was a pretty good view.

"I just wanted a drink on St. Patrick's Day," he said plaintively.

[wrongkindofsith]

"Consider it a public service, giving people something other than Tino to look at."

It could be worse, Steve, it could have been Isabela behind the bar, and you'd have been getting more than a once over and that comment.

Cara filled a glass with (thankfully normal) ale and pushed it across to him. "On the house."

[heroic_jawline]

"I appreciate it, ma'am," Steve said with an earnest little smile as he sat down. "Guess I should be glad my trousers stayed on."

[wrongkindofsith]

Halfway down the bar, Tino made the noise of a man pulling sticky shamrocks off somewhere they should never have gone. Cara steadfastly ignored him.

"Yes, you should," she said. "Though the rest of the bar might regret it."

[heroic_jawline]

Steve coughed. "I can give 'em to your bartender, but I don't think we're really the same size."

[wrongkindofsith]

"He wishes," was Cara's opinion on the matter.

[heroic_jawline]

Steve took a sip from his beer and smiled. "Nah, I'm sure he's happy being him. He's certainly not in a rush to reacquire clothing."

[wrongkindofsith]

"He should be if he knows what's good for him."

Seriously, Tino, this was the bar that didn't card, there were potentially children present.

[heroic_jawline]

"Probably a health code violation, right?" Steve said, frowning in his Cap is Disappointed way.

[wrongkindofsith]

If Cara's glares only worked half the time, he was probably going to be oblivious to disappointed frowns too. "In the sense it makes people sick."

[heroic_jawline]

"Put that away, son," Steve said. "Half of the people on Earth have one and yours isn't that impressive."

[wrongkindofsith]

"It's really not," said a voice of experience. "And if anyone needs one that badly there's a store in walking distance."

[heroic_jawline]

"There's a store that sells...those?" Steve asked, sounding slightly strangled.

[wrongkindofsith]

Cara's grin bore more than a slight resemblance to that of a shark scenting blood in the water. "On the other side of the park, it's hard to miss it."

Again, be glad she isn't Isabela, she'd try to be 'helpful', Cara was just going to make fun of you.

[heroic_jawline]

One day, Steve would discover the television show they'd love together and they'd be BFF.

...if he ever came back after checking out 'Dite's. "I'll bet," he said a little dryly.

[wrongkindofsith]

At least Steve could learn from Clint's mistakes and not bring the teen girl population with him. "The giant cock is a sight to behold."

No, she wasn't going to mention it was an actual chicken statue. Because she wasn't sure if that would make it better or worse.

[heroic_jawline]

"I'll bet," Steve said, glad he hadn't taken a sip of his beer right then.

Women in the future were a lot more upfront about things than he was used to, Peggy Carter aside.

[wrongkindofsith]

Well, Cara was an outlier even for this place.


"Not like back home I take it?"

Aww, Steve, you were reminding her of Clark, what with being tall, pretty, and clearly in need of a woman who knew what she was doing...so amend that lucky she wasn't Isabela to lucky she was happy with Surreal.

[heroic_jawline]

"Not at all," Steve said quickly. "I mean, there are stores, but not on main streets with signs."

[wrongkindofsith]

"And window displays."

Don't be mean, Cara.

[heroic_jawline]

"Window displays?"

Men with voices that deep shouldn't squeak, Steve.

[wrongkindofsith]

Cara grinned. Because Cara was terrible. "Very classy as these things go."

[heroic_jawline]

"They can be classy?" Steve snorted.

[wrongkindofsith]

Cara raised her eyebrow. "Are you implying I'd set foot in a place that wasn't?"

Not that she actually particularly cared what Steve thought of her, besides she'd tracked too many men to too many brothels to claim she wouldn't.

[heroic_jawline]

"I hadn't really pictured you with knowledge of the place past the academic," Steve said, blushing to his ears.

[wrongkindofsith]

Boy, was someone going to be surprised if he ever found out what her girlfriend did for a living.

"I've gone in when I needed to, the merchandise is quality, just not to my tastes for the most part."

[heroic_jawline]

Steve's lips quirked up. "Good to know. Now, another subject?"

Anything else?

[wrongkindofsith]

Cara took pity on him. For now.

"I take it you're new, then?"

What with not knowing about about the island's fine retail establishments?

[heroic_jawline]

"Got here in January," Steve said, nodding. "The weather here is...special."

[wrongkindofsith]

"Definitely new if you're still worrying about the weather."

Why did that not sound particularly reassuring?

[heroic_jawline]

"That doesn't sound all that reassuring," Steve said. "When did you get here?"

[wrongkindofsith]

"A while," Cara replied, because wow it had been a long time, even with returning to the Midlands. "Long enough to know the weather's the least of your concerns."

[heroic_jawline]

"What's the greatest?" Steve said, focusing on her face.

[wrongkindofsith]

Tino, obviously, just look at him.

"Pick your poison," Cara said instead. "People turn into animals, gremlin bits make you think you're someone else, sometimes you actually turn into someone else, you can wake up in the wrong body, the island's regularly invaded, often by small children claiming to be yours, you can become a small child, the zombies make you listen to their music, you were here for sex pollen, need I go on?"

Because she'd barely even scratched the surface.

[heroic_jawline]

He was really trying not to look at Tino any more. Hysterical blindness was a thing.

"That all seems fairly capricious," Steve admitted. "The invasions, though--no aliens from the sky demanding we all bow and worship them? Possibly wearing extremely stupid helmets?"

[wrongkindofsith]

"That's the one thing that hasn't happened."

At least, she didn't think Zinyak had wanted to be worshipped.

[heroic_jawline]

"Good," Steve said to his beer. "I don't need that twice."

[wrongkindofsith]

"Now that you've brought it up there's a chance of it happening."

Cara, stop that.

[heroic_jawline]

"It works like that?" Steve asked, looking guilty.

[wrongkindofsith]

"You want to risk it?"

[heroic_jawline]

"No," Steve said earnestly.