http://sarcasm-duh.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] sarcasm-duh.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] fandomtownies2016-07-13 03:17 pm
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Caritas - Wednesday Evening

It was Archer's first day on the job and unfortunately with him he was dealing with a pony version of Tino and was utterly clueless about the zombie band.

"Those are the worst looking strippers I've ever seen."

And while Archer was still human and the island has been in freaking space, he still wasn't caught up on the complete weirdness of the island.

"Seriously! What's with all the horses in here? That's got to be a health code violation."

He'll catch on eventually.
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solo_sword: (pony!)

[personal profile] solo_sword 2016-07-14 12:02 am (UTC)(link)
"DRINKS," Jaina said, clomping up to the bar.

[identity profile] sarcasm-duh.livejournal.com 2016-07-14 02:43 pm (UTC)(link)
...

"Did you just talk? HOLY CRAP ARE YOU MR. ED?! I KNEW HE WAS REAL!"

Archer is due for a disappointment here.
solo_sword: (pony!)

[personal profile] solo_sword 2016-07-14 02:57 pm (UTC)(link)
"You must be new," Jaina said dryly, awkwardly sitting on a stool and putting her frontline a up on the bar.

[identity profile] sarcasm-duh.livejournal.com 2016-07-14 03:36 pm (UTC)(link)
"New? I'm like 36. And you're a FREAKING TALKING HOUSE!" Archer shouted as he threw his arms up in the air. "That's fucking awesome!"
solo_sword: (pony!)

[personal profile] solo_sword 2016-07-14 03:52 pm (UTC)(link)
"I'm a person who got temporarily turned into a pony because Fandom is under the mistaken assumption that it's funny," Jaina sighed. "Which is why drinks are needed."

[identity profile] sarcasm-duh.livejournal.com 2016-07-14 04:18 pm (UTC)(link)
"Oh. That's a thing here?"

He shrugged and poured himself a drink.

"What do humans turned into ponies drink? Bucket of water? Side of hay?"
solo_sword: (pony!)

[personal profile] solo_sword 2016-07-14 04:41 pm (UTC)(link)
"Scotch. Like, a lot of it," she answered.

[identity profile] sarcasm-duh.livejournal.com 2016-07-14 07:13 pm (UTC)(link)
"Okay. You're a pony but I like your style," Archer declared as he grabbed a bottle of scotch and an ice bucket. He dumped the ice into a sink (earning him a dirty look from Tino) and started to pour the scotch into the bucket for the pony. "Say when."
solo_sword: (pony!)

[personal profile] solo_sword 2016-07-14 07:20 pm (UTC)(link)
"I don't know my tolerance as a pony," Jaina realized after a moment of watching the scotch glug into the bucket.

[identity profile] sarcasm-duh.livejournal.com 2016-07-14 07:26 pm (UTC)(link)
"From personal experience, horses tend to have a high tolerance for alcohol," Archer declared.

This would be the point in the show where a small scene shows Archer trying to have a drinking contest with a horse and losing horribly. And also threatening to turn said horse into mucilage.

"I wonder what happened to good old Amanda Mount."
solo_sword: (pony!)

[personal profile] solo_sword 2016-07-14 07:28 pm (UTC)(link)
Jaina's mouth opened and closed, then she decided she didn't want to know, and instead went with, "When."

[identity profile] sarcasm-duh.livejournal.com 2016-07-14 07:34 pm (UTC)(link)
"You want it neat or on the rocks?" he replied as Tino gave him another dirty look because of all the ice in the sink. "And judging by the size of the glass... that'll be $42.00."
solo_sword: (pony!)

[personal profile] solo_sword 2016-07-14 07:55 pm (UTC)(link)
"Neat. And I don't exactly have pockets right now. Tino knows I'm good for it."

She paused, and clarified, "I'm not a drunk, I just used to work here."

[identity profile] sarcasm-duh.livejournal.com 2016-07-14 08:04 pm (UTC)(link)
"Oh, well then the place probably went downhill since you left," he said waving at the Zombie band. "I'm mean that's just hideous."

Sorry, Jaina. Archer automatically thinks you're a stripper pony.
solo_sword: (pony!)

[personal profile] solo_sword 2016-07-14 08:13 pm (UTC)(link)
Jaina's eyes narrowed. "You mean the zombies?"

[identity profile] sarcasm-duh.livejournal.com 2016-07-14 10:00 pm (UTC)(link)
"You mean they're the living dead and not strippers addicted to meth?"

To be honest there was a resemblance.
solo_sword: (pony!)

[personal profile] solo_sword 2016-07-14 11:24 pm (UTC)(link)
"They're a band, not strippers. Not sure about the meth. Maybe that's what killed them," Jaina shrugged.

Pony shrug.
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