Fandom Island Counseling Services and Psychiatry, Monday

[sharp_as_knives]

Vacation had been lovely, but Hannibal was pleased to be back at home, too. His patients seemed glad to see him, too. Some of them far too enthusiastically. He'd blame it on the island, but some people seemed to just be like that. And there hadn't even been any invasions while he'd been gone!

Nevertheless, he was in his office, seeing people, working on another set of wedding invitations, and open to working in friends or colleagues who might want to see him.


[Open post; the doctor is in! No OCD.]

Comments

[uncertain_dume]

Oh, Master Billaba would have had a heyday with you, Hannibal.

"I wish she was around for you to meet," Kanan sighed. "Too bad that isn't the way things fell out."

Well, around here...

[sharp_as_knives]

To be fair, Hannibal might have had a lot of fun with her, too.

"Unfortunate," Hannibal agreed. "Though subject to the island's whims, I may yet have the opportunity. Were there other Jedi who believed as she did, rather than advocating for cutting yourself off from humanity?"

[uncertain_dume]

"We didn't really cut ourselves off from other people completely," Kanan replied, though he sounded a touch distracted. "I mean, we were family, to each other. And some of the friendships we forged during the war were as strong as any that people outside the Order have. Hell, my dog is named after an old friend..."

He frowned, and then sucked it up and finally backtracked.

"Sorry, the idea that my Master might end up on the island..."

[sharp_as_knives]

So, less an order of sociopaths, and more a cult, then.

Thank you, George Lucas.

Hannibal nodded. "There is always, of course, the possibility that another version of her could come here. But the island has also, on occasion, brought back the dead for a weekend. Nobody has told you about that yet?"

[uncertain_dume]

... Basically a cult, yes.

Kanan, meanwhile, looked like he'd been winded.

"No," he managed, after a long pause. "No, nobody's told me about that one, yet."

Excuse him. He was feeling a bit faint.

[sharp_as_knives]

"I've experienced it only once so far myself," Hannibal said, "but Jono, I know, has seen it at least twice, with different people each time."

[uncertain_dume]

"So, something else to brace myself for," Kanan sighed, shaking his head. "Maybe I'll luck out and it'll happen when I'm a teen again, so I won't realize how excruciatingly karked-up the whole situation is."

Be careful what you wish for, Jarrus.

"Master Billaba was easily one of the strongest influence I've had in my life, but I'm not certain I could handle meeting her again."

For so, so many reasons. Many of them involving shame.

[sharp_as_knives]

"Why is that?" Hannibal asked. "Wouldn't you be pleased to see her?"

He had a feeling that wasn't the problem, no.

[uncertain_dume]

Kanan made a quiet huffing noise that wasn't quite a laugh. It was trying, sure, but... it was a swing and a miss.

"Of course I would," he replied. "That doesn't mean meeting her again would be any less complicated for it. I had to make a lot of compromises to survive this long. Not all of them are ones to be proud of."

[sharp_as_knives]

"Would you have survived without these compromises?" Hannibal asked.

[uncertain_dume]

"There might have been ways," Kanan sighed. "At fifteen years old and fresh out of a war, I didn't know them. Maybe she understood that, at the end. Or maybe she never had time to consider it when the clones shot her down. But simply surviving doesn't mean I've become somebody that she should be proud of."

[sharp_as_knives]

"You did what you had to in order to survive," Hannibal said. "You've continued to do so. Do you believe she would judge you harshly for that?"

[uncertain_dume]

"I want to think she wouldn't," Kanan admitted. "But... it's been eight years. I was a scared kid. For all I know, I've got her up on some pedestal after she... after she told me she'd be right behind me. I'm not exactly in any hurry to find out if I'm misremembering her, either."

He'd certainly misremembered Skywalker, after all.

[sharp_as_knives]

"Do you believe you should be judged harshly for your choices?" Hannibal asked.

[uncertain_dume]

"I..." Kanan sighed and shook his head. "I'm a terrible judge of this sort of thing. I mean, I haven't exactly covered myself in glory during the past eight years."

Which wasn't the same thing, exactly, but that was the best he figured he had.