Luke's, Monday

[vdistinctive]

The staff at Luke's were all keeping an extra close eye on their boss today. It was about this time last year, after all, that he had unexpectedly turned into a wolverine in the middle of the dining room, and they wanted to be prepared.

Knowing the reason for it didn't make it any easier for Eliot to deal with, though.

"This time the year before that I got a dog," he pointed out. "I don't see you all gettin' ready for another magical puppy running around."

The busboy held up a tiny doggy shaped sweater with "Valentine Jr." stitched into it. Eliot growled.

"Omigosh," said the dishwasher, whacking the cook in the arm with the back of his hand. "Omigosh it's happening."

"It's alright, sir!" the cook announced. "We've got a whole frozen moose ready for you whenever you need it!"

"Seriously," said Eliot. "One of these days I am really going to fire all of you."

Today's specials
Chicken-fried elk tenders
Elk and zucchini meatballs with tomato sauce
Cowboy elk pizza

"You know," said the cook. "If you eat the whole thing now, you're not going to have anything when it's fur and claws time."

Luke's was open.

Comments

Mod your service

[vdistinctive]

The word "elk" no longer has meaning to any of your servers.

Talk to Eliot

[vdistinctive]

He is not turning into a wolverine. Or getting another dog.

Dammit.

Re: Talk to Eliot

[puppy_fair]

Fortunately, the new owner of Furnado wasn't here trying to pawn off puppies on anybody. He was mostly here for an easy lunch, having successfully spent most of his morning just staring blankly at the respective implements in the kitchen before deciding that maybe his appetite would be functioning better for him if he was actually somewhere that would bring the food to him.

"Hey," he said as he stepped into the restaurant and looked around for a seat that could accommodate one SOLDIER and his ridiculously large sword. "I don't suppose you would mind telling me what an elk is?"

Wildlife where Zack was from was very different from Earth's fare, in many regards.

Re: Talk to Eliot

[vdistinctive]

"I can at least try," Eliot offered. Talking to customers tended to be much better for his blood pressure than dealing with his staff was. "You know what a moose is? Or a deer?"

He'd try horses next, and if none of that rang a bell, it'd be time to pull out the magic of a phone based Google image search.

Re: Talk to Eliot

[puppy_fair]

There was a pause.

"The moose is that big thing with the antlers in the school's office, right? I think I filled out paperwork for him, years and years ago."

Yes, Zack. There was also a less-mentioned elk there. And their offspring.

Re: Talk to Eliot

[vdistinctive]

"That's the one." Eliot had definitely had the occasional run in with that moose. Most recently to point out that no one actually uses checks anymore and half the "tatting" websites were in Russian. "Elk is basically one of those only from Europe." That was only partially true. But Eliot hadn't spent a lot of time studying moose or elk once he learned that the answer to 'how to fight a moose' was 'don't'.

Re: Talk to Eliot

[puppy_fair]

There were so many sad Canadian elk that were feeling left out now and they didn't know why.

Either way, that answer was good enough for Zack, who pursed his lips for a moment in thought, and then shook his head a little.

"Then maybe I'll go with something else today," he decided. "Have you got anything good that's a little less... meaty? Chicken and fish are fine, but some stuff just disagrees with me."

There was vampire trauma. Best to not get into it.

Re: Talk to Eliot

[vdistinctive]

"Fair enough. Anything you were thinkin' of in particular? Freezer's enormous, we've got most anything you can get on Earth. And some space stuff, but I'm guessin' nerf falls into the 'too meaty' category."

Re: Talk to Eliot

[puppy_fair]

"I have no idea what nerf is," Zack admitted, looking thoughtful. "So... I'll just take your word for it there. It's been a few years since I've been on Earth, I guess, but chicken's easy, right? And it goes with practically anything. We actually do have chicken back home."

And cats and also dogs. And some dogs didn't even have tentacles! But... none of those were really for eating. He shrugged, and then pulled his sword from his back and propped it up against a nearby wall so that he could actually sit down.

"Or I suppose I could simplify my order by a lot and just ask for some kind of salad."

Re: Talk to Eliot

[vdistinctive]

Eliot was giving that sword a very raised eyebrow. Seriously. It mostly just looked like it was going to put you at a major tactical disadvantage. Who the hell wanted to have to take off a weapon just to be able to sit?

". . . Yeah, there ain't any less variety in those these days either," He pointed out, finally getting around to looking back at Zack himself. "How 'bout a chicken salad sandwich? Can do ya a side of fries and a vegetable with that if ya want."

Re: Talk to Eliot

[puppy_fair]

Hey, Zack's original sword of choice had been a much more practical SOLDIER broadsword. The Buster Sword hadn't actually been his idea. He mostly didn't even use it. He did catch the raised eyebrow, though, and met it with a crooked, knowing sort of smile as he took a seat.

"A sandwich with some sides sounds great, actually," he admitted. "I can't remember the last time I had a sandwich."

It was sad because it was true.

Re: Talk to Eliot

[vdistinctive]

That was, in fact, very sad. "Okay, seriously man, ya gotta start givin' me more specifics here. I just told you we have most things. Unless you want every vegetable known on Earth as your side dish."

Which . . . could potentially happen, around here.

Re: Talk to Eliot

[puppy_fair]

"... It's tempting," Zack admitted. "Sorry, I... I really don't know. What goes good with chicken? You probably don't have gysahl greens. The Earth equivalent's name is kind of escaping me."

Carrots, Zack. Carrots.

He sighed.

"Whatever the most simple salad you have is, it's fine. I'll take that."

Re: Talk to Eliot

[wefindintheashes]

Well, Goodnight would certainly hope that would prove true. Because he did not want to deal with a wolverine.

A puppy, on the other hand...

"Is pizza like that Ikea thing?" One day he'd be caught up. One day.

Re: Talk to Eliot

[vdistinctive]

. . . What.

"Not even a little?" Why was that a question? "It's a flatbread dish. Usually covered in sauce, cheese, and assorted toppings. Ikea sells furniture."

Re: Talk to Eliot

[wefindintheashes]

"Ah. That sounds... interesting," he ventured, trying to put that together in his head and basically coming up with Mexican food. "My apologies. I still find it easier to ask rather than consult this smart phone."

Siri wanted him to stop asking. Just stop, Goody.

Re: Talk to Eliot

[vdistinctive]

"Smart phones are overrated anyway," said the guy who had literally just been pondering using one to show the last customer what an elk was. "Take it you're new to the area. Or era."

Honestly, there were plenty of folks back home where Eliot was from who wandered around looking almost exactly like Goody did.

Re: Talk to Eliot

[wefindintheashes]

Next person who showed up better ask what food was. Just to really make it a day for Eliot.

"New to both," he replied with a smile. "Goodnight Robicheaux is my name, sir."

Re: Talk to Eliot

[vdistinctive]

If Peridot walked in here, so help him. . . .

"Mr. Robicheaux," Eliot greeted, faintly wishing he had a hat to tip. "Nice to meetcha. Eliot Spencer, owner and proprietor of this here establishment." Something about Goody made him want to get all colloquially fancy-like. "You're one of the folks teachin' about the Civil War, right?"

Re: Talk to Eliot

[wefindintheashes]

Because it was fun to be all colloquial! Maybe make a mint julep next... sit on a porch swing and talk about how hot it is out.

"You would be correct," he replied. "You would be the partner Mr. Hardison mentioned, I assume?"

Re: Talk to Eliot

[vdistinctive]

"One of 'em," Eliot agreed, keeping a look out for Goody's reaction to the . . . unorthodox nature of their relationship. "Our girl Parker hangs out here every so often, too, but she tends to keep mostly to the vents."

Re: Talk to Eliot

[wefindintheashes]

Look, he was just a simple southern gentleman. Who had no idea what that meant.

Goody looked up toward the vents before he could even think better of it. "Beg pardon?"

Re: Talk to Eliot

[vdistinctive]

Eliot shrugged. "She likes small spaces." It was entirely possible he was doing this on purpose. "Whatever makes her happy, man. So long as she makes it to our bed at the end of the day, me an' Hardison got nothin' to complain about."

Eliot, stop trolling the old timer.

Re: Talk to Eliot

[wefindintheashes]

Would he stop, though? Would he?

Goody nodded slowly along with that. He was... going to have to look into what had changed in the laws and conventions in regards to certain varieties of relationships, wasn't he? "I was always taught that it best to do as a lady wants," he ventured.

And then he would be even more upset that Billy couldn't be here for the future. No reason why.

OOC

[vdistinctive]

This post brought to you by the pound of ground elk I nearly bought at Harris Teeter the first time I decided to make swedish meatballs.

Or by the pound I might buy tonight so . . . I can make swedish meatballs.