The Park, Late Sunday Morning

[soniaroadsqueen]

Crazy Apple was sitting on a park bench, her legs folded beneath her in silence. Her breathing started off slow and steady, almost like she was meditating or something.

The thing about Crazy Apple was that she knew she wasn't really some sort of other personality of Ringo's. Not in the way people usually meant when they talked about that sort of thing. It wasn't the same sort of thing as what Agito and Akito had back home. Neither of them really remembered much of what the other had done, leaving some odd fuzzy areas in both of their memories. But Crazy Apple knew everything Ringo had done, and Ringo, underneath it all, could see and hear what Crazy Apple did.

Crazy Apple was who Ringo became when she felt overwhelmed and couldn't deal with the things she was seeing or doing, but she kept seeing and doing whatever it was, which meant she'd either have to deal with it eventually or keep being Crazy Apple.

Still, Crazy Apple was independent enough to make decisions, and while she wasn't particularly interested in what Ringo ultimately decided to do, she still had little ways to influence that sort of thing. Like what she was doing now: sitting still, clearing her mind of distractions, leaving herself with few ways to avoid mulling over the thoughts swirling in her head.

Or maybe you can start dealing with your own shit like the rest of us do, Ringo, Dante had said. Fake split personality bullshit ain't cute.

Her breathing slowly sped up, becoming a little more ragged, as unformed thoughts of outrage and betrayal and an undercurrent of shame and worry slowly swirled beneath the surface of Crazy Apple's active thoughts. Ringo's emotions. The ones she didn't want to deal with. They weren't enough to push Crazy Apple aside. Not enough to pull Ringo to the surface where she could curl up and cry herself out from too many competing feelings. So Crazy Apple continued to sit there, trying to keep her breathing under control and let those emotions keep swirling.

Wondering if anything would come of it.

[ooc: Open.]

Comments

[rebelseekspizza]

It was Sunday now, and Dante was still way too restless to stay home on his own for long. So, with Anders at the shop, he was going for another walk.

Maybe entertaining vague ideas of taking the bike for a spin. It'd been a while, after all.

And... then there was Ringo. On a bench.

He came to a stop, a foot or two away. Normally he might have made a crack, but Ringo looking this quiet... just reminded him that something else was knocking around in her head.

[soniaroadsqueen]

It might not have been as hard for Crazy Apple to sit still as it was for Ringo, but that didn't make it easy. Despite just sitting there, she was actually concentrating pretty hard, and while some sort of awareness that someone was nearby tickled at the back of her brain, she wasn't really, well, aware of it. If he stood there for too long, she probably would, but at the moment she was just lost in her own thoughts.

[rebelseekspizza]

Okay, fine: two minutes. But Dante was gonna walk out the second she started acting like an asshole again.

"Ringo?"

[soniaroadsqueen]

She twitched.

Then turned to look over at him. Her expression was sort of complicated. Still the cold, reserved look of Crazy Apple, but it was a little brittle.

"Dante. Hey."

She considered him.

"How are you?"

[rebelseekspizza]

So Dante didn't actually know what to make of that.

"I'm good," he said, which was both true and hilariously untrue. "How about you?"

[soniaroadsqueen]

"Good question," she answered with a little shrug. "I don't really know."

It looked like she might have more to say about that, but wasn't really sure how to put it into words.

[rebelseekspizza]

"That's new," Dante said slowly. "What's on your mind?"

[soniaroadsqueen]

She snorted at that.

"Did you know that I've never been out for this long without a break? Crazy Apple, I mean." And just how would he know that, hmm?

[rebelseekspizza]

"Why?" Dante asked, frowning. "Why the hell are you still doing this?"

[soniaroadsqueen]

Another shrug. "I don't entirely know. I think a big part of it is that the nightmares still haven't gone away."

And, honestly, the trip to Limbo City hadn't exactly helped with those.

[rebelseekspizza]

Dante frowned at her.

"You did this - all this - because you were having nightmares?" he said, and thought of Kat.

[soniaroadsqueen]

Crazy Apple's eyes narrowed. "This wasn't the first option." Her lip curled up in a sort of twisted smile. "Tried to talk about if, work through it."

Only Alluka had seemed all that interested in helping with that approach.

[rebelseekspizza]

Dante frowned at her. "Like when?"

Because accosting a guy about how he was doing didn't count in his book, so she couldn't have tried that with him.

[spin_kick_snap]

Kathy was in no shape to head out to Baltimore yet, so she was dealing with the shit in her head by running. Not jogging, not brisk walking, running. For as long as she possibly could until her body couldn't handle it. It wasn't as good a way to shut her brain up as some other pastimes, but it was the one she had right now.

Was it good luck or bad luck that the cramp hit just as she was a few yards from Ringo? Or something else at play? Who knew?

[soniaroadsqueen]

Crazy Apple may have been pretty deep in thought, the sound of feet pounding the ground at the speed Kathy was going was enough to snap her head up.

As Kathy slowed, Crazy Apple's eyes narrowed, taking on a cold expression that seemed to weigh and judge. She gave no sign as to whether she approved of what she saw or not, she simply nodded.

"Hey, Kathy."

Not senpai.

[spin_kick_snap]

"Crazy Apple," Kathy said neutrally, because that was not Ringo. She slowed, stretching and flexing her leg to work through the cramp. Her body'd had a year of ill-use and had fallen out of condition. Kathy was ignoring that fact and pushing it hard anyway. Cramps were just more proof she was alive, right?

"How are you holding up after everything?"

[soniaroadsqueen]

"Fine." Of course. After all, that was kind of her deal: being fine.

"The nightmares have shifted slightly, but it's not like they've gotten any worse."

She considered Kathy for a few seconds. "You?"

It didn't sound like she was terribly invested in the answer.

[spin_kick_snap]

"Worried about you." Which wasn't a proper answer at all, but she didn't feel terribly bad about that. "Or rather, worried about Ringo."

[soniaroadsqueen]

Underneath everything, that warmed Ringo's hear a little bit.

But that was underneath. "Hmm. And how are you holding up after everything?"

Repeating the question would totally get an answer, right?

[spin_kick_snap]

Kathy looked at her steadily for a moment, weighing her options. And finally said, "I'm pretty fucked up, actually," she told her. "Have been since I woke up. Not looking like I'm getting any less fucked up in the foreseeable future, either."

[soniaroadsqueen]

Crazy Apple considered that for a moment.

"Is that why you haven't been around?" she asked.

Ringo had, honestly, been to caught up in her own problems to pay much attention, but Crazy Apple had noticed. They basically hadn't talked since the trip to LA.

[spin_kick_snap]

"Yeah," Kathy said. "Sometimes I can't be outside. Too many people. Sometimes I have to be outside, to try to lose myself. Sometimes I have to go into Baltimore and get into fights just to prove I can feel things. Exes don't feel pain. So long as I do, I'm not that anymore." She looked at Ringo for a minute, then closed her eyes, face back up at the sun. "My nightmares are memories. Of being an ex. I remember everything."

[soniaroadsqueen]

"Oh."

Even Crazy Apple hadn't suspected that.

"You remember what you did." That was obvious. "How you felt?" That part, well, she suspected that part, too.

[spin_kick_snap]

"I didn't feel anything," Kathy said. "I was a zombie. Feelings weren't exactly a thing, unless you count hunger. But the virus that kept me walking kept making memories, too. I just couldn't access them. Not until I came back to life. And then I remembered everything. Every step. Every bite. Every death."

[soniaroadsqueen]

"Not pleasant memories," Crazy Apple nodded slowly.

She imagined that was a lot to deal with. You know, if you even could deal with something like that.