The Park, Late Sunday Morning

[soniaroadsqueen]

Crazy Apple was sitting on a park bench, her legs folded beneath her in silence. Her breathing started off slow and steady, almost like she was meditating or something.

The thing about Crazy Apple was that she knew she wasn't really some sort of other personality of Ringo's. Not in the way people usually meant when they talked about that sort of thing. It wasn't the same sort of thing as what Agito and Akito had back home. Neither of them really remembered much of what the other had done, leaving some odd fuzzy areas in both of their memories. But Crazy Apple knew everything Ringo had done, and Ringo, underneath it all, could see and hear what Crazy Apple did.

Crazy Apple was who Ringo became when she felt overwhelmed and couldn't deal with the things she was seeing or doing, but she kept seeing and doing whatever it was, which meant she'd either have to deal with it eventually or keep being Crazy Apple.

Still, Crazy Apple was independent enough to make decisions, and while she wasn't particularly interested in what Ringo ultimately decided to do, she still had little ways to influence that sort of thing. Like what she was doing now: sitting still, clearing her mind of distractions, leaving herself with few ways to avoid mulling over the thoughts swirling in her head.

Or maybe you can start dealing with your own shit like the rest of us do, Ringo, Dante had said. Fake split personality bullshit ain't cute.

Her breathing slowly sped up, becoming a little more ragged, as unformed thoughts of outrage and betrayal and an undercurrent of shame and worry slowly swirled beneath the surface of Crazy Apple's active thoughts. Ringo's emotions. The ones she didn't want to deal with. They weren't enough to push Crazy Apple aside. Not enough to pull Ringo to the surface where she could curl up and cry herself out from too many competing feelings. So Crazy Apple continued to sit there, trying to keep her breathing under control and let those emotions keep swirling.

Wondering if anything would come of it.

[ooc: Open.]

Comments

[rebelseekspizza]

"They didn't act it," Dante said, "And they were trying to kill you."

He hadn't gotten this far in life without - eventually, after nearly losing his mind - learning to compartimentalise.

[soniaroadsqueen]

"I know that!" she snapped, but then seemed to deflate as if that little outburst had taken most of her energy.

"But," her voice was soft again, "even if there isn't much choice, you're not supposed to like it."

The killing part would have been pretty difficult, but Ringo probably would have managed to deal without running off to hide in her own head if that had been all it was.

[rebelseekspizza]

Dante probably shouldn't do what he was about to do, but...

He looked her in the eye. "Why not?" he said.

[soniaroadsqueen]

"W-why not?" Ringo sputtered, eyes shooting wide in surprise.

"Because killing people is wrong!"

Not the most nuanced stance, but at least it was easy to explain?

[rebelseekspizza]

"We already worked out that they weren't people," Dante said simply. "Big difference between humans and dead husks trying to murder you and everybody you care about."

[soniaroadsqueen]

"Well, you're still not supposed to enjoy it." Whether they were technically people or not, it was still killing.

[rebelseekspizza]

"According to who?" Dante asked.

There'd been years where it was basically the most fun he could have without taking his pants off.

[soniaroadsqueen]

"It just is!"

Everyone knew that, Dante!

And don't ask her to explain why because, well, you know. She'd never thought about it before.

[rebelseekspizza]

"What's wrong with killing something that's evil and is trying to kill you back? That's not human, just some fucked up thing shuffling around killing people?" Dante said. "Give me one reason besides 'cause it just is'."

[soniaroadsqueen]

"I-it's killing!" That was exactly what he'd just told you not to do, Ringo.

"B-besides," she said, shaking her head, "if you have to do it to keep people from dying, then maybe it's okay to do it, but you shouldn't like it."

You know. Because.

[rebelseekspizza]

"Why?" Dante asked. Again. "You just put a stop to something that would've killed a bunch of innocent people."

[soniaroadsqueen]

"It's not the same thing," Ringo insisted.

And, for once, she wasn't just being stubborn. She knew that the enjoyment she'd felt wasn't the 'oh, good, I saved people' type when she'd ended those exes. Or when she'd fought some of Dante's demons, either.

[rebelseekspizza]

Dante shrugged.

Admittedly, his lines were blurrier on this than some people might be comfortable with. (Though his line on killing humans was a particularly harsh one to compensate for it.)

[soniaroadsqueen]

Ringo was silent for another couple of seconds.

"What if I start doing it more just because I like it?"

That was the other half of what kept her up. Sure, there was a lot of self-loathing about how she felt about what she'd already done, but what if it led to more of the same?

[rebelseekspizza]

Dante squinted at her. "We don't really get flooded by zombies and shit all the time," he pointed out. "And you're like, falling apart just thinking about having done that. I think you're good on not shivving people in the middle of the night."

[soniaroadsqueen]

"That kind of thing happens a little at a time, doesn't it?"

That's what TV and stuff had always told her, anyway.

"Like, i wouldn't even notice it happening?"

What if it was happening right that moment!?

[rebelseekspizza]

Dante stared at her.

"When you start getting the urge to kill people," he said slowly, "You kinda notice."

[soniaroadsqueen]

"Even if it's all slow and subtle and, um." What was that word. "Insidious?"

[rebelseekspizza]

Long pause. "I think you watch too much TV."

[soniaroadsqueen]

"How would you know?" About the TV, or about the impossibility of slowly, sneakily turning evil without noticing?

[rebelseekspizza]

"I've been killing demons that looked like humans since long before I knew what they were," Dante said dryly. "Still not murdering anybody in the middle of the niht."

[soniaroadsqueen]

"Well, that's true." She sounded a little reluctant about it, but Ringo had to admit that, as far as she knew, Dante didn't go around murdering people and hiding the bodies.

[rebelseekspizza]

"Then why the hell would you?" Dante said. "You get way more queasy about this shit than me."

[soniaroadsqueen]

"Why do you always act like that's a bad thing?" Ringo asked, sniffling slightly. "I also don't drink as much as you, or have sex all the time. But that doesn't make me stupid or dumb or whatever."

Which was true. Though there were plenty of other things people might argue made Ringo stupid or dumb or whatever.

[rebelseekspizza]

There was a short pause.

"I don't think it's a bad thing," Dante said finally. "I don't think it's a bad thing at all. I'm kinda screwed up, Ringo. You, you worry about being screwed up, but you're pretty normal."