fandomtownies | Dite's Decadent Delights, Tuesday

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Dite's Decadent Delights, Tuesday

There were cakes everywhere when Kathy came into the store today. Dirty ones. Some were in naughty shapes, some had dirty decorations, others just had suggestive things written on them, but on every available surface, there was some kind of improper cake, along with paper plates and plastic forks.

The plates and forks were a normal, plain white at least.

There was nothing for it than to go around and try a sliver of every cake she could find, just to know what they all were. And then she was putting up little signs so interested customers could grab a slice of whatever cake caught their fancy.

Yup. Just another day in Fandom. With cake.

Buy anything, get a free slice of cake!

[No OCD!]

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Cristina had put this off as long as possible. This town was much too small for her to be going around to sex shops and not have to worry about people thinking they knew her private life. But the island still wasn't letting her leave, and a woman had needs, so Cristina decided to suck it up and deal with her life being broadcast on the radio.

Stupid voyeur squirrels.

"Sex toys and cake," she said, looking over the sign. "This the leftovers from a bachelorette party?"

"I wish I knew," Kathy said, giving Cristina a rueful smile. She tucked another hand-written lemon, with lemon curd filling and I think lavender icing next to a cake shaped like breasts and decorated with a fancy chocolate filigree bra and then headed behind the counter. "I came in and found the place like this and after awhile on this island, you just stop asking questions."

And just go around eating randomly-appearing cake.

". . . You don't actually know where this cake came from," Cristina said. "And you're going to eat it?"

Kathy. Kathy, she'd only just stopped thinking you were a total idiot. Don't do this to her, Kathy.

"Attend high school here for a year or so and you stop worrying about the food the island randomly provides," Kathy said. "This is a weird island thing. I trust that a lot more than I would if actual people had been involved."

Fandom whimsy was generally hygienic. The same couldn't be said about people.

Cristina was beginning to think that perhaps the island was a cult, and the high school the primary indoctrination center.

"Yeah, I think I'm still going to pass. I'm pretty sure magically appearing food isn't FDA approved."

...She probably wasn't wrong.

"Neither is schisandra tea, but you couldn't stop my mom from drinking it," Kathy said with a wry smile. "Or manna from heaven, I guess, but I'm nowhere near religious enough to be able to back up that claim. This is more the island being weird. It's not making me dress in macrame or be physically thirteen again, so I'm willing to play along."

Also this just meant more cake for her to bring home to a mage, a Nephilim, and to leave in the woods for her mutant bestie.

"So just because it's not being actively horrifying, you're okay with it." Cristina sighed. That was, admittedly, kind of how the rest of the world worked, too. "Look, just point me to some vibrators that weren't created by a magic island and I'll be set."

"It's really good cake," Kathy said with an amused shrug. "So long as it's not going for actively horrifying, the island tends to go pretty high quality."

Part of the island's weird equation for how much shit it could do to them without everybody rioting was Kathy's personal guess.

"But, yes, I can absolutely direct you to very normal, completely man-made vibrators," Kathy said with a small grin. Yay! A real customer! She indicated an aisle about three away from the door. They're all down here. We have a good selection for size, speed, and sensations, but if you don't find anything you like here, 'Dite's has a website, too."

"And leave my fate in the hands of the island's postal service," Cristina said.

Yeah, she wasn't into that idea, either.

"I'm sure I'll find something. At this point I'd settle for some cheap plastic, tiger-striped atrocity."

There was only so much a girl used to an enthusiastic and skilled sexual partner could get done by herself, after all.

Woooooooooooord. Kathy would be horrified to find herself in a similar situation after the current setup of 33 Apocalypse.

"We can do better than that," Kathy said with a chuckle. "Promise. Need a--guide?" she offered after rethinking 'hand' at the last moment. "I'm pretty familiar with the merchandise."

Also awkward to say. "...Their stats and specifications from the manufacturer," she amended.

"What, you haven't tried all your vibrators and dildos out yourself?" Cristina asked with a smirk. "For shame."

"All?" Kathy asked, bursting out laughing. "I have way too much stock for 'all.' Plus the new stuff wholesalers send to convince me to stock their stuff. If I tried to get through all of it, I'd have early-onset arthritis!"

Beat.

"And also my guys would pout."

Cristina noted that plural with a raised eyebrow and an approving smirk. "What, they can use them too. Better an actual dildo than some of the crap I had to pull out of people in my residency."

Dr. Webber had an entire storage room full of crap he had to pull out of people. You would not believe what the residents of Seattle were willing to shove into their varying orifices.

"Oh believe me they do," Kathy said, with a fond thought back to the fun she and Dante had at the hotel last week with her new toys. "And so pretty--" She realized what she was saying and to whom and blushed bright red. "Err, that is, I can help you find stuff and offer at least some personal recommendations if you want them."

"I'm a firm believer in letting people be experts in their field," Cristina said. "And I deal in hearts and lungs, not orgasms." She shot Kathy a wry look. "Though now I'm wondering if you really know that much about playing solo."

Sounded like Kathy had plenty of other options, after all.

"Didn't always have boyfriends," Kathy said, shrugging. "Especially after I...came back. Left things bad, came back worse. I spent plenty of time by myself."

Cristina glanced at her, the joking expression fading. "After your family died, you mean?"

See, because Kathy was kind of using a phrasing that Cristina more associated with people coming home from war.

Funny story that...

Kathy nodded. "Yeah," she said softly, eyes far away. "Took a lot of time to work through stuff together. Hell, I wasn't really in any place to be dating anyone when I first came back, even if they'd been okay. I had a lot of--stuff. To work through. Still am, more often than not. It's just way less raw now."

She shook her head--her whole body really--and reminded herself where she was. This wasn't therapy, dammit, this was a woman looking to get off, c'mon Kathy. Do your job. She looked back up at Cristina, giving her a bright customer service smile. "So, I'm pretty sure I can make some useful suggestions, if you want 'em."

"Your credentials are firmly established," Cristina agreed with a nod, looking over the store's selection. "That's, uh. A good job, though. Taking your time before diving back into a relationship. If I'd done more of that myself, I'd have skipped a lot of nastiness."

Marrying someone because you had PTSD and were afraid to be alone was a really terrible idea.

"Hey, I'm not saying I wouldn't have gone for it back then," Kathy said, leading Cristina to the appropriate aisle. "Just saying in retrospect, it was a much better idea to wait."

Purely external vibrators were on the left and ones that offered both internal and external stimulation were on the right. Because Kathy believed in organization the way other people believed in religion. "So first thing--what kind of toy are you looking for? We've got small and discreet and can be used anywhere to the big and powerful and you may wanna think about soundproofing for neighbors."

"Ooo, let's see." Cristina pursed her lips. "Both. Definitely both. I have way too much free time to kill on this island."

Kathy laughed again, and nodded, heading a little further down the aisle. "Okay, so I'm gonna start you on my absolute favorite," Kathy said, taking a toy off the shelf and handing it over to Cristina to examine. The sale versions were in packaging, of course, but this was was new enough that Kathy thought people would feel better getting a chance to see how it worked before, well, seeing how it worked. "It's not exactly a vibrator? It works with clitoral suction. Eighty percent of the ciswomen who were featured in the original model's testing were able to orgasm within two to three minutes. It has eight different intensities, though it always defaults to the lightest one, and two different silicone nubs in case you respond better to more general stimulation or prefer it focused."

"That sounds . . . fantastic," Cristina said, turning the toy over and examining the controls and the tip. "It's always good to see innovation, especially in the realm of sex toys."

And if she really liked it, she was totally going to show it off to Meredith later. Apparently she and Derek were having some issues right now.

"It's pretty quiet when you turn it on, but when it's properly seated, it becomes almost silent," Kathy said, grinning. "And, to be frank, I have yet to make it above a three."

~~Somewhere back in Cristina's world, an Italian OBGYN was loving this conversation, and she wouldn't even be introduced for three more seasons.~~

"If I end up injuring myself because I took that as a challenge, you and I are going to have words."

"Are those words going to be 'Good job!' and 'It was worth it'?" Kathy checked, grinning.

Cristina snorted. "More like 'I am the only real doctor on this island and sex injuries aren't the ones you can treat yourself'."

At least you couldn't break a clitoris?

"My boyfriend is a healer," Kathy said, laughing. "He might be able to to, uhh, take a shot at fixing you up. Probably with your clothes still on."

"See, I could do that, but then I'd never be able to face the scientific community again."

"I feel there's probably a list of things this island is gonna make you do that that's true for," Kathy said, idling down looking at more toys.

"Yeah, that makes me feel better."

"Would you rather be surprised or--okay, not prepared, because that's not a thing," Kathy said. "Aware, maybe? It's gonna happen, it happens to everyone, consider your--" she turned and winked, "--loins girded."

"It's not like I can avoid it, is it?" Cristina pointed out. "Far as I can tell, all knowing about it ahead of time is going to do is trigger anxiety."

"Yeah, but sometimes it helps to know that it's not you," Kathy said. "It happens to everyone and it's not personal and rarely directed. It's just...just shit, you know?"

It was weird how fast that became a comfort.

Cristina picked up one of the larger vibrators and took a look at the specs on the back of the box. "Yeah, well, the shooter and the plane crash weren't personal or directed, either." She set the vibrator back on the shelf. "Like I said. Just triggers anxiety."

Kathy nodded quietly. "I get that."

The exes hadn't been personal either. Didn't mean it she didn't have anxiety attacks over them.

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Dite's Decadent Delights, Tuesday

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