Apocalypse Avenue, Near the Park, Tuesday Morning

[notallbluemonks]

Right, so. Ten minutes ago Beau had been contending with a hangover in some tiny podunk town, a few days’ travel south of Trostenwald on the Amber Road, when she'd caught a glimpse of two figures robed in the all-too-familiar blues and greys of the Cobalt Soul. And the hell with that, she wasn’t going back to the monastery, not now, so she'd ducked into a side alley, reasonably sure she’d managed it without them noticing.

She'd been crouched behind a stack of crates with the smell of pretty shitty but pretty strong beer (meant for the tavern around the corner, probably) wafting off of them, trying to listen for any signs that the monks on her trail were sniffing around too close for comfort. Also, thinking about how she'd drink this beer anyway because she figured she'd get too drunk to care about the taste before long.

Just listening. And waiting. And getting a hell of a cramp in her left leg from being squashed into a tiny dark corner and trying not to move at all.

Then suddenly, the noises from the tavern and the passing horse-drawn cart were just gone, and the slightly mildewy scent of the alley was swept away by a light . . . breeze? A breeze with an odd, completely unfamiliar salty tang to it?

Wait, what?

The crates she was crouched behind no longer smelled like beer either, and when she stepped out of the alley it was into what looked like a row of the weirdest fucking warehouses she'd ever seen.

“The fuck?”

This didn't look like any place she'd ever seen in the Dwendalian Empire. The architectural style was . . . varying degrees of wildly off, for one, and then there was the ocean? Which she had never seen before in her life? Yeah. Definitely not the landlocked Empire. Beau rubbed at the back of her head, used her staff to lever herself to her feet, and set off down the completely unfamiliar street just to try and figure out where the hell she was. And how she'd gotten here without even moving from her spot.

Figured. Run away from the Cobalt Soul, still get stuck asking the deep-ass questions, even if they were way more literal in this context. On the upside, it was probably going to be a hell of a lot harder for the monks to track her down now.

By the time Beau was approaching the park, though, she hadn’t gotten closer to any answers or gained any clarification whatsoever, so . . .

“The fuck?”

This was going to be a theme for a while.

[[Post is absolutely open! Usual SP disclaimer applies. Please forgive my lack of icons; it's a thing.]]

Comments

[magnusrushesin]

"Sick undercut!" Magnus called out at the strange, deeply confused woman. Because he was no good at normal conversations with NPCs.

[notallbluemonks]

“Uh.” Beau, who was no good at normal conversations with NPCs and PCs, blinked a few times in his direction. “I know, right?”

That was not how you say thank you, Beau.

“So, like,” she continued in her perpetually rough morning-after-a-bender voice, “where the hell is this place, man?”

[magnusrushesin]

Yeah, but did she also assume most everyone was just the DM doing a voice?

"Ohhh, you're a newbie," Magnus said with the dawning realization of wisdom as a dump stat. He had to go back to his Errol Flynn meets gravel voice that he more than occasionally forgot to do. "This is Fandom, fellow traveller! Hail and well met."

[notallbluemonks]

Hey, give her a break, she technically hadn't even gone through her session zero game yet!

". . . what kind of name is that?" Don't judge, Beauregard, you come from a place with a town called Hupperdook. "Never mind that question. I have a better one. We're not in the Empire, are we?"

[magnusrushesin]

"No? No. Nooo?" He was guessing here. "No empires here unless they're secret ones.

[notallbluemonks]

"Secret empires? Yeah, I'm never gonna rule that out," Beau muttered. "You're not sounding really sure about that, though. Like do you not know where we are either? Am I even in Wildemount any more? The fuck?"

[magnusrushesin]

"I'm not actually from here either. I hail from the town of Raven's Roost where I was a carpenter by trade--" he paused, sort of waiting for the immediate cut off on his backstory explanation.

[notallbluemonks]

"Look, man, I really don't care," Beau said, waving a cloth-wrapped hand abruptly. So like that, Magnus? "That's not a place I've ever heard of either. Where is that, Tal'Dorei or something?"

[magnusrushesin]

Griffin would be so proud of her!

"Uh. Is that in Faerun?" Look, he didn't get that skill, okay?

[notallbluemonks]

Beau peered at him through still slightly bloodshot eyes. "Where the fuck is that?"

So, no.

[magnusrushesin]

"It's okay, only my buddy Taako has ever heard of it here," Magnus said with a sigh.

[notallbluemonks]

"Gods, you make that sound like this is a whole different fucking world," Beau said, snorting and tapping her fingertips against her staff.

A beat. Two.

"Wait. Is it?"

[magnusrushesin]

Magnus pinched his fingers together. "Lil' bit."

[notallbluemonks]

Beau burst out laughing, but only for a second, after which she was back to eyeing him skeptically "Dude, you're serious?"

[magnusrushesin]

"I mean. Yeah. But it's pretty cool here even if it's impossible to find any fun adventures," he said. "I just want to fight one dragon without it being fake."

[notallbluemonks]

"Yeah, I'll pass on that hero shit. I could totally take a dragon --" no you couldn't, Beau -- "but only if it's worth my while. Like monetarily. The important question though: is there good booze around here?"

[magnusrushesin]

Magnus could! He was on that high level grind. Also, he didn't know it but... he also had an entire party of magic users.

"Well, I'm a cider man myself." Because Travis. "But yeah, I guess so."

[notallbluemonks]

Rub it in for the pre-canon tier 1 adventurer then, why don't you, Magnus?

"I mean, it's not like I hate cider or anything, but I'm really more about the stronger shit," Beau told him. "If I can get that here, I'm good."

Judging you maybe a little bit here, Magnus. Just a little bit.

[magnusrushesin]

"I also have this magic cup that makes things into alcohol," he staged whispered.

[notallbluemonks]

“. . . get the fuck out,” Beau said immediately. Grinning, or as close to it as she ever got. It was more of an eager schemey face, really.

[magnusrushesin]

"I will not!" Magnus said cheerfully. "It never really become important to the storyline or anything, but it's super cool."

[notallbluemonks]

"Uh, yeah," Beau said. "Can you like tell it what to give you?"

[magnusrushesin]

"You know, I've never tried that before," he admitted, digging into his massive inventory to find it. There was honestly far too much for one person to be carrying around.

[notallbluemonks]

Yay for optional encumbrance rules? Beau's inventory was basically nonexistent at this point so she was kind of jealous, honestly.

"That seems like the kind of thing you should know if you have something like that. Like you're not using it to its full potential if you don't."

When she processed what she'd just said she rolled her eyes. Ugh, she sounded like a whole bunch of her old tutors and Archivist Xeenoth. Gross.

[magnusrushesin]

It didn't help that his DM made magical items rain down on them like it was payday Fantasy payday.

"I mean. It didn't really come with a Terms & Services from the Fantasy Costco," Magnus replied, squinting at what he was pretty sure was Merle's empty bottle of Cheerwine.