fandomtownies | Demon Marcus, Sunday

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Demon Marcus, Sunday

Well, it wasn't going to be below freezing or anything today, but Sparkle figured he probably ought to make it a little easier for kids to go outside in this weather all the same. After all, he was prone to just giving away winter gear to people who seemed dazed and confused enough, and he had kind of kicked himself this morning for not thinking about doing this sooner, given that the weekend was very nearly over now.

Still, Sparkle had gone running around the shop, gathering up hats, scarves, mittens, earmuffs... any warm clothing that he could find for little children, which he was then putting into a big bin, which, in turn, he was putting out in front of the shop with a 'free' sign on it, written in English, French, Spanish, and Aurebesh. So, pretty much every language he knew, or knew some kid knew and could Google so he'd get it right.

And then he sat himself behind the counter and busied himself with painting his nails. Black with hot pink stripes, today, mostly just because he felt like it. All the little kids were great, and he kind of adored any weekend where he got to see a million of them running around and having fun, but he wasn't looking forward to Monday.

[OOC: Open!]

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Kaidan's face went absolutely bleak at that thought. "Fuck, I hope that never happens to her. Not even kidding, I would just sedate her immediately and keep her in a coma until Monday."

He scrubbed a hand through his hair, "She'd deal better with 'em if she were an adult. She's a good teacher. I'm crap at this."

"I mean... you left Hernando at the bar?" Sparkle smiled faintly. "Safest place on the island without sticking him in the dorms. And we can't get into the dorms, so why not the bar? With other kids, and there's probably juice to drink on weekends like this..."

He shrugged.

"You've been doing good for 'em. That whole party yesterday? Nobody ever threw anything like that when I was turned into a little kid."

"Which is the only reason I did it," Kaidan said, "Nothing can hurt him in there and he won't go outside when he was told not to." He huffed a laugh, "Atton's tending bar. With juice. He's serving the other kids."

It was adorable.

He scrubbed a hand through his hair, "I.. don't understand this island. I was talking to Summer on Friday and she seemed kind of in the 'let the children run feral all weekend' camp. Is that what normally happens? Like, the adults left over don't look around and wonder how the kids are getting fed?"

He really hated this island right now, Sparkle.

Sparkle shrugged a bit.

"When I changed, I was a student," he noted. "There's usually somebody at the dorms who'll make sure the kids are stuffed full of pancakes all weekend, at the very least. I've never been, since I graduated. And she's a new grad, right? She probably just assumes the adults who were turned to kids have someone doing the same thing, without really figuring that's exactly what you were doing, you know?"

There was a pause, and then he added, "The island has a soft spot for kids. It knows you've got this, I think maybe that's why it leaves some people as adults. It turns all the weapons into toys and makes sure they have clothing that fits, too."

"Yeah, she said something like that," Kaidan nodded, "I asked about the townies and she said shops are usually open. But, like.. You saw the kids. How many of them would you say would go into a shop, especially if they saw an adult in there? I sure as heck wouldn't have."

He scrubbed a hand through his hair, "Hernando might be right."

Well, there was an opening Sparkle couldn't leave hanging.

"Right about what?"

"He's been talking about writing a book or making a binder or something of the weird crap that happens here and what was done about it. I thought he meant just the big invasions but the more I think about it, the more I think maybe that's not what he meant at all," Kaidan answered.

Sparkle nodded a little, thinking that over.

"I mean... the big invasions, it's hard to plan for," he noted. "They're almost always different, every time."

He waved a vague hand out toward his 'free stuff' box.

"This? This happens on the regular. Just like you can expect dead people or maybe you'll end up a teenager or the island will make everyone horny or you'll wake up with tits or twenty years older or kids you'll probably never actually have will come knocking at your door. It makes sense to catalog this stuff. You can plan for tits."

Eloquently spoken as always.

"Yeah but a list of what's been tried in the past might help kick off an idea for what to do with a new invasion," Kaidan said, "It'd at least be a point to start at."

He threw Sparkle a lopsided smile, "Yeah, that's part of why I want to teach the 'welcome to Fandom now you're fucked here's how to cope' class. Which, uh, I haven't put a whole lot of work into lately."

Something in that list caught his attention and he grimaced, "Wait - horny? Do I want to know?"

No, Kaidan, you don't. Except you do.

Oh, Kaidan. Sparkle winced a little.

"Pollen," he supplied. "A whole week of just... shitty pollen that makes everyone uncomfortable. Only way to be rid of it is to get away from it, so maybe keep Portalocity on speed-dial for that one, if you would rather not."

Kaidan winced a little in return. "Yup," he confirmed, "I'm through a portal for that one. Watch me nope. I'm already having moral conflicts about the wacky weekends vis a vis consent, I do not need a week of looming non-con hormones on top of that."

Sparkle nodded and sighed.

"I mean, at least we're all in our right minds for that, even if there aren't enough cold showers in the world. The lucky ones have somewhere to go. Or, like, don't need to breathe, I guess."

He could live with not breathing for a week, honest.

"Still. I think I'll be happier hanging out in a bar on Omega," Kaidan said with a lopsided smile. "Though it's tempting to throw up Barrier for a week and run around with a giant spray bottle of ice water or something."

"I think some teachers do bring the spray bottle to class," Sparkle mused. "Probably mostly joking, but..."

He shrugged, smiling crookedly.

"I'd bail too, if that was an option."

Kaidan tilted his head, "Why isn't it? You could go visit your kids."

"Well, the kids weren't always an option, I mean," Sparkle replied, shrugging. "Though now that they are, maybe that's exactly what I'll do."

Kaidan shrugged in return, "If not, you're always welcome to come hang out on Omega with me. I'll be the guy camped out in a booth at the bar talking shit with the Turians for a week."

"Oooh, I can shit-talk with the best of them!"

He really could.

"Turians are made mostly of chitin and sarcasm," Kaidan said, grinning a little, "You'd probably have fun."

"See, now I just want to snark at one now," Sparkle laughed. "Well, maybe not right now. Gotta shove toques at tinies, right now."

"Someday, you're going to meet Garrus and you will either hate each other or meld into one being," Kaidan proclaimed, "Which you might not like, because of that whole chitin thing."

"That depends," Sparkle decreed. "By his people's standards, on like a scale of one to ten, is Garrus hot?"

Priorities.

"Garrus is one of the most respected Turians in the galaxy, a galactic hero, the best damned sniper I've ever met," Kaidan began, and then grinned, "Going by Turian standards, he's a 10, because they care about military reputation more than looks."

He fired up his Omni and called up a photo of Garrus and Tali. "And Tali's why the Turian females gnash their mandibles. Garrus is smitten and only has eyes for her."

"Oh god they're adorable together, though," Sparkle decreed. "See, I can't possibly become one with this Garrus guy. I'd hate to break up a pair."

Sorry, Tali. He could not date you.

"Eh, you could timeshare," Kaidan grinned, "Might be good for him. Broaden his horizons."

Garrus was so straight. It was a little sad, but also Kaidan was secretly grateful for this because Garrus and Shepard had been inseparable.

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