Deandra "Sweet Dee" Reynolds (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
not_a_bird) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
fandomtownies2019-02-27 07:47 am
not_a_bird) wrote in fandomtownies2019-02-27 07:47 am
Entry tags:
Caritas; Wednesday [02/27].
There was another poster board behind the bar again this Wednesday, but it wasn't one of Sweet Dee's signs for the Open Mic night. Oh, no. This was a sign for an even more promising opportunity, if in fact Tino (and possibly anyone else coming into the bar that evening) was interested in a little something called unparalleled success.
"So if you sign up for the Invigaron system today," she was explaining to her fellow bartender, "and take the first steps toward acheiving financial freedom. Invigaron!" With a winning smile, she gestured to the board. "A business opportunity as rare as the albani berries themselves."
And Tino had...so, so many questions. Like why Sweet Dee was apparently a berry salesman now? ("No, I'm a distributor, Tino, for a revolutionary new product that changes lives.") And what were those? ("Oh, hose are my new wrenches. I got those free for sitting through a 20-minute presentation.") So...it was a scam! ("No! No. Nonononono. It's not a scam at all. I also had reservations from the beginning, but these superberries? Grow ih the Andes mountains, okay? Alpacas can survive entire winters on this shit.")
But after fending off Tino's very excited questions about how these berries might give him superpowers to survive winters, Sweet Dee pulled out a machine and set it on the bar. "Now, come over here, Tino," she said, guiding him over and handing him two sensors hooked up to the device, "and hold onto these. Now, this machine is gonna measure the level of toxins in your body caused by stress. Okay, let's see..." She peered over at the little dial on the machine. "120, 140, 150...Oh, shit, Tino. 157? That's not good. Your units of stress! Are...very, very high...in your stress units, but don't even worry! Invigaron can help you. These berries are chock-full of antioxidants and phytonutrients."
Which was a huge relief, to say the least! So Tino was sold, Tino was in, so if Sweet Dee could just get for him one of those brochures over there on the other side of the bar? Sweet Dee was more than happy to get one for him...just as he was more than happy to point out the severe drop in his stress units the moment she was good and far, far away from him.
"...goddammit, Tino."
Caritas is open!
[[ and shamelessly stolen from S09E04 of IASIP, "Mac and Dennis Buy a Timeshare" ]]
"So if you sign up for the Invigaron system today," she was explaining to her fellow bartender, "and take the first steps toward acheiving financial freedom. Invigaron!" With a winning smile, she gestured to the board. "A business opportunity as rare as the albani berries themselves."
And Tino had...so, so many questions. Like why Sweet Dee was apparently a berry salesman now? ("No, I'm a distributor, Tino, for a revolutionary new product that changes lives.") And what were those? ("Oh, hose are my new wrenches. I got those free for sitting through a 20-minute presentation.") So...it was a scam! ("No! No. Nonononono. It's not a scam at all. I also had reservations from the beginning, but these superberries? Grow ih the Andes mountains, okay? Alpacas can survive entire winters on this shit.")
But after fending off Tino's very excited questions about how these berries might give him superpowers to survive winters, Sweet Dee pulled out a machine and set it on the bar. "Now, come over here, Tino," she said, guiding him over and handing him two sensors hooked up to the device, "and hold onto these. Now, this machine is gonna measure the level of toxins in your body caused by stress. Okay, let's see..." She peered over at the little dial on the machine. "120, 140, 150...Oh, shit, Tino. 157? That's not good. Your units of stress! Are...very, very high...in your stress units, but don't even worry! Invigaron can help you. These berries are chock-full of antioxidants and phytonutrients."
Which was a huge relief, to say the least! So Tino was sold, Tino was in, so if Sweet Dee could just get for him one of those brochures over there on the other side of the bar? Sweet Dee was more than happy to get one for him...just as he was more than happy to point out the severe drop in his stress units the moment she was good and far, far away from him.
"...goddammit, Tino."
Caritas is open!
[[ and shamelessly stolen from S09E04 of IASIP, "Mac and Dennis Buy a Timeshare" ]]