Kanan's Warehouse, Friday Morning and Afternoon

[uncertain_dume]

Really, by this point was it any wonder that Kanan was in the warehouse again?

Meditating?

He seemed to have found a routine that worked for him, though he did hope that the weather would be nice enough for him to venture out to the park again for these things sooner or later. After all, enough people knew about his warehouse after this winter that it wasn't as though he had much more privacy with his meditation than he would out in the open. And Stance always did enjoy the park that much more, Kanan felt less guilty about bringing him along, when he went to meditate in the park.

For the time being? The warehouse. If nothing else, it was more dry in here today anyway.

Comments

[thatwaslucky]

Speaking of routine, there was Rey with her normal call, firmly in her old way of doing things. Look, this gave her something to look forward to all week.

[uncertain_dume]

And it gave Kanan a reason to come back to himself, grab a bottle of water, and take a break for a while. It worked out for the both of them!

"Afternoon, Rey."

[thatwaslucky]

"Hi," she greeted him. "Are you busy?"

Like that ever mattered, and she should know that by now.

[uncertain_dume]

"Never too busy for a talk," Kanan replied with a smile. "What's up this week, Rey?"

Really, if he tried to chat while fighting snowmen, he'd try to chat through anything.

[thatwaslucky]

"Nothing much. I think it's going to be an early day for me. I wanted to make sure I called before heading to Niima."

She didn't have exciting updates.

[uncertain_dume]

"Oh yeah? Find anything interesting this week?"

It would be hard to top that ship, but Kanan would make a point to get just as excited about some power converters if it came to that.

[thatwaslucky]

"Not really, but it's enough. And if I try to get to another location for more I'm going to lose the rest of the day," she explained.

[uncertain_dume]

Well, that was less great. Sensible, but less great. Still, he'd take 'enough' at face value anyway.

"Gives you the rest of your day to come up with a game plan for tomorrow, huh?"

[thatwaslucky]

"Not much of a plan. I'll just head out there at dawn," she smiled. "You just have to watch your timing sometimes."

[uncertain_dume]

Pragmatic, Rey. Kanan could appreciate that.

"Better than no plan at all," he decided. "You're still going, that's the important part."

[thatwaslucky]

"Exactly," she nodded. "How was your week?"

[uncertain_dume]

"Quiet," Kanan replied easily. "No complaints, there. I'm sure it's only a matter of time before that changes again."

Because Fandom.

[thatwaslucky]

"You are probably due for something soon, right?" Her timing wasn't perfect from where she was.

[biotic_psychotic]

Jack...slunk. She slunk into the warehouse and kind of sidled along a wall until she could climb on a crate. Quietly so she didn't bother Kanan. She chewed on a callus at the edge of her thumbnail and waited for him to be done with his ...sitting. Sitting and being calm.

She could use some calm.

She didn't know how to do calm.

But she waited quietly.

[uncertain_dume]

Kanan sat. For a minute. For two minutes. He knew she was here. She was difficult to miss. It was like a small fire in the Force as he reached out, after all, and fire was notoriously difficult to miss.

Finally, he opened his eyes and looked her way.

To his credit, he didn't pull a Jedi move and say something like, 'I sense you are troubled, Jack' right off the bat.

The flipside was that instead, he was tilting his head at her and saying, "Hey, Jack. What's eating you?"

[biotic_psychotic]

She was always troubled. Today it had a reason. "Kaidan's an idiot and he won't let me be mad at people for him."

A beat.

"Hi."

[uncertain_dume]

"Hi."

A beat.

"Mad at people about what?"

[biotic_psychotic]

Jack drew her knees up and wrapped her arms around them. Hunched in a little. "So, I'm an asshole," she started. Fair warning. "The whole last week has been just shitty for people on his list and I keep, you know, bein' there. Sending up the Kaidan signal so he can come do the thing. Like.."

A hand waved in a mini flail before returning to her legs. ".. The thing when someone's all fucked up and might need like, one of their people? Kaidan's really fucking good at being the people. He does his thing and helps people."

Little bit plaintive. Tiny bit.

"I didn't know he's on some sort of fucked up caring diet bullshit," Jack added, "cuz people got it in his head that they don't want him to help and he fucks people up when he tries, so now he's all trying to not and I go and fail a fucking intelligence check by not askin' him if he's ok enough to deal with other people's shit before I ask him to, you know, come deal with other people's shit. For a week."

A beat.

"He won't tell me what people or how or what the fuck. Doesn't wanna go into it, he said, but Kanan.." She looked up at him, "..I really wanna hit someone. Kaidan doesn't want to reach out anymore. Kaidan."

[uncertain_dume]

Kanan listened. And Kanan... breathed out a sigh.

"Want me to talk to him?"

He wasn't sure how to fix something that had never been mentioned to him this way, but... hell...

"I know he and I have done some butting heads over my own," he waved a hand, "poodoo. It's been a while, though. If I had known that was because he was holding himself back and not because we've managed to reach an understanding, I would've been more concerned."

[biotic_psychotic]

"No," Jack shook her head, "He'll just get mad at you too." Gnawed on the knee of her jeans because it was there. "He asked me why I texted him. Thought I was just fucking with him to watch him 'make it all awkward'. He thought I was setting him up for a big fucking fail and that I'd laugh at him. Because nobody ever asks him and when he tries he does it all wrong and gets 'chewed up and spit out'."

More gnawing. "What the fuck kind of friends does he got here, Kanan?"

[uncertain_dume]

Kanan knew the answer to that one, at the very least.

"Broken ones, Jack," he replied, gently. "People who have gone so damn long without somebody who gives a damn they don't know how to trust it when a hand is being held out to them."

[biotic_psychotic]

Jack made a rude noise in her throat but she smiled at him. "That's nothin' fuckin' news, Kanan. That's the shit he's used to. Those are the people he helps the most. He's good at broken. Kaidan has more fucking patience than anyone I ever met but Liara. It don't get much more broken than me, ickle."

Really didn't.

[uncertain_dume]

"No," Kanan agreed. "No, I know that, Jack." He frowned faintly. "I don't entirely know what to tell you. You know as well as I do that not everybody wants to be helped."

His jaw tensed faintly. "I have no idea how much of what happened before between him and I are feeding into this, either. Coruscant--" He let that word linger for a moment. And then he shook his head. "Can't just be Coruscan't."

It took a lot more than that to break a man's spirit.

[biotic_psychotic]

She shook her head again, "I know not everyone wants to be helped. So's he."

Glanced up at him. "Wasn't Coruscant. I can get him to talk about Coruscant and he said it wasn't one person so it's not you." She thought about it and then offered, "I think if it was you he'd have said. To you. Maybe not to me. But he said it wasn't just one, you know? He made it sound like always. Like he's just one giant fuckup all over the place and he's done trying cuz it always fails. And that.. That ain't Kaidan. Failing shit? Sure, he fucks up just like everyone does but failing shit just makes him try all the fuck harder not to fail the next time."

[uncertain_dume]

Kanan frowned a little at that. Couldn't think of any one thing from here that might leave him feeling that way.

And Kaidan wasn't the sort to ask for help.

He sighed.

"I'm not sure what to do about this," he admitted. "Maybe... shit. Maybe wait until he's had some time to recuperate and go to him with things he can fix. There have to be things he can fix."

Force only knew what. It wasn't like Kanan knew where to start with his own crap in the first place.